My curbside friends, I have found the deal of a lifetime for you. Just look at this magnificent specimen from the time when these really big Lincoln Continentals were the top dog in the automotive pecking order. Admit it; when you were a little kid you were just dying to have your dad trade in his 1969 Dart 4-door for one of these. You would have been instantly elevated from being the kid no one sat with at lunch to the one everyone wanted to ride home with, in that magnificent big Continental.
Well, it’s not too late to drastically up your status in life. You think anyone ever notices your 1998 Chevy Lumina? For just $1995 you could be rolling through the ‘hood in this, with “Margaritaville” wafting out the open windows. All those girls that shunned you back then will drop their laundry baskets and turn off “The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills” and come running out their front doors…
Just head to Lou Glutz Motors in Eugene. Seriously.
Quite deadly serious. There’s the sign on Hwy 99W, on the way to the airport.
I’m sure you all remember that Lou Glutz Motors was once one of the biggest Family Truckster dealers. Sadly that icon of a proud American car manufacturer went belly up back in 2008 and the government chose not to bail it out. I can’t imagine why, but then what do a bunch of Washington bureaucrats know about the car business? Family Truckster was much more viable than Chrysler at the time.
So Lou went bankrupt, and like so many Californians in financial trouble, headed to Oregon to start over. He set up a used car and service operation in Eugene, and for a while, it seemed to be thriving. Sad to say, it’s looking a bit down on its heels now too; very little inventory and the service area was all closed up. Maybe that’s why Lou is offering this gem of a Conti at such a low price; he needs to make rent for this month.
But don’t worry too much about Lou; he did manage to hang on to the very last Family Truckster ever made. It’s sitting out back and going up in value every day. It’s Lou’s retirement plan; more solid than bitcoin.
It’s only got 43 miles on the odometer. These late Trucksters were a lot sleeker than the earlier ones; what a beaut! But it was too late to save the company.
Enough drooling and fantasizing; Lou isn’t going to sell it until he’s good and ready; he’s got Sotheby’s champing at the bit to auction it at Pebble Beach.
Now back to that Lincoln.
Let’s stand back a half mile to take in the full measure of this 240″ long parade float of a car. Yes, that’s an apt analogy as this thing does float down the road. Just try to stay away from curves if you can; we all have our strengths and weaknesses. And the shocks on this baby are currently a bit weaker than when they were last replaced, back in 1988. You might not want to push the mighty 202 hp 460 inch V8 under the hood too hard, unless you’ve got a stretch of arrow-straight freeway with no traffic front or next to you for the next 10 miles or so. The expression “it just gobbles up the miles” was never more apt, except maybe for how it gobbles up the gasoline.
Full disclosure: This Conti is not quite a full “Condition #1” car; maybe a 1 minus? Oregon’s famous healing rains are guaranteed to wash the rust away, but it has to have an unobstructed flow to do so. Trap it under a vinyl top and trouble can brew in there.
But this is no ordinary vinyl roof; it’s the distinguished Coach Roof. I can’t quite equal the description of it that is in the brochure, so here it is:
Ah, “frenched” no less. Your new female admirers will be running their fingers over that frenching with a dreamy look in their eyes.
And check out those twin rear speakers on the rear parcel shelf. Looks to me like part of a bespoke 50,000 watt system by Bowers & Wilkins.
It’s not hard to see how the rain is getting into that vinyl roof distinguished Coach Roof. Just needs a lick of elastomeric white roof coating; you probably have some left over in your shed from the time you recoated your mobile home roof last year.
I never claimed that Oregon’s healing rains work on wire wheels. These are just not something Oregonians would normally ever chose to put on their cars; a bit too showy for us. We’ve been compared to Canadians in that regard, although I’m not sure I’d go quite that far. In any case, a can of rust remover and a bit of elbow grease will have these genuine wires sparkling again. If we ever get some damn sun here!
That’s not to suggest that this is anything other than a genuine Oregon classic, though. Proof of its unquestioned provenance is right on the back end, although it does seem to have been painted over the last time this Conti was “restored” in the driveway. Walt Jonson owned a Mercury-Lincoln dealership along with a few other brands.
Admittedly the paint job on this Town Car is showing just a week bit of weathering. You might say that this is a hundred yard type of car; looks really fab from a distance.
Anyway, you won’t be noticing a few exterior blemishes when you’re seated behind that graceful rubberized plastic steering wheel even if it was shared with the Pinto. These are no less than the optional “Twin Comfort Lounge Seats”, not just some plain old bench seat. Flip up the twin arm rests and your new passenger(s) will be snuggling up to you on those acres of leather, and it’s all still there and intact.
You’ll be the king of the road, with your confident gaze taking in the waving hordes as it goes wafting by as well as the road a quarter mile ahead of you, past that endless hood. I see another gracefully installed Bowers & Wilkins speaker down there on the door. Jimmy Buffet never sounded so good even in concert, not that you’ve ever been to one.
The big question is who among the yearning throng will be worthy to actually enter the rear compartment of your Lincoln Continental Town Car. Be very selective! You don’t want anyone staining that buttery soft silver-toned leather or the 16 oz. shag carpeting. Excitability can lead to unexpected emissions of bodily fluids.
It’s even got a tow hitch for a matching yacht; just clean up that 14′ fishing skiff moldering away in your brother in-law’s side yard and get that old 9.9 hp Johnson Sea Horse running. What an impression you’ll make at the reservoir.
She’s just itching to hit the road; all she needs is you to get down here to Lou Glutz Motors, make a deal and slide behind the wheel. Lou will hook you up with a great financing package: with a seven year loan at 32% interest, you’re looking at a mere $26.00 per month! And it’s an appreciating asset. They don’t exactly make these anymore, sad to say.
I know; the economy is in the toilet, we’re in a depression, unemployment is sky high and Cinnabon doesn’t exactly pay all that well. But come on, $26 a month! You’ll save more than that by cutting back your on-line sex-chat subscriptions, which you absolutely will not need anymore. What are you waiting for? Your life will never be the same, I guarantee it.
Related CC reading:
Curbside Classic: 1972 Lincoln Continental Coupe – Oh Baby, Your Broughaminess Is My Destiny T. Klockau
Curbside Classic: 1978 Lincoln Continental Town Car – Best Prom Car Ever J.P.Cavanaugh
I’m tempted.
But… I googled shipping costs from Eugene to Manchester England and they’re more than the price of the Lincoln add 10% import Duty, 20% VAT and around $250 for vehicle inspection and I don’t think my pension will stretch that far.
Still tempted though, petrol has dropped in price here, now only equivalent to $6.33 US gallon (£1.37/litre).
LINCOLN, What a Luxury CAR should be and ONCE was. Although this 76 has numerous issues, it looks well worth resurrection. The roof being the worst, especially if there’s extensive rust beneath the vinyl. BUT, where will you find a genuine LAND YACHT in this condition for that price? Per pound, it’s less than most groceries. The interest rate is ridiculous, but probably why Lou is GLUTZ has it listed at $1,995. A cash buy would make this a Bon Marche. I once owned a 78 Town Coupe. Loved that big boat and should never have let it go. Having owned numerous previously owned upscale vehicles, including Cadillacs, My LINCOLNS and GRAND MARQUIS have kept me Thinkin Lincoln. My current low mileage 2007 Town Car Signature Limited is the last gasp of traditional American Luxury sedans.
I visited Lou’s website. That’s a fascinating inventory of sketchy vehicles. The descriptions of the vehicles are a hoot! The guy’s got a sense of humor, and probably a Copyright issue with all that Family Vacation iconography.
Ooooh, you tempt me, sir! Those of us in the land that rust never forgot look at this car and see a perfect body. Rust under the Coach Roof? That is not rust, although it apparently sends Oregonians running away screaming in fear. When you are used to seeing things like the picture below, this Lincoln looks practically showroom, nothing a little sandpaper and Dupli-Color can’t fix right up!
I am intrigued by the “frenched” vinyl roof finish around the back window. Actually, if I could get it home, all I need to do is drive it a couple of hours south to the town of French Lick. I’ll bet the folks there would really appreciate the Coach Roof with that feature.
A whole French Lick town? Wow, up here in Baja Wisconsin they charge $50 extra for a French Lick.
Used one of these in my wedding in 76 along with my 38 Buick special sedan. The Conti was my mother in laws friends car, think it was a 74 maybe… Was the hottest day in june, the Lincoln over heated but my Buick did fine… Driving slow and AC on did the big highway hauler in… Wish I still had the buick, the ex is long gone…
I read your article three times and never saw the over-used word “behemoth” used in your article. Am I missing over it, perhaps? The closest thing I found was, “parade float of a car.”
The Di-Noc Taurus wagon is more my speed. Had a 92 Taurus wagon with the Vulcan engine. It was the best car I ever owned. The Squire Di-Noc trim would have made it even more wonderful.
Died laughing at your essay. It is a treasure for someone who has some extra bucks to invest in what I have read others call a “Dinner Car” because three or even four couples can pack into it and go to dinner in style. Indeed, these were cars to appreciate in their day. Heard at the filling station is the gas jockey to the customer. “Sir, please shut off the engine. You’re getting ahead of the pump.” Thanks for the fun.
Looks like a heck of a deal. Seems to me to be a 3- car. Some exterior work. Nice interior. Maybe some, hopefully minor, mechanical work. As it sits maybe $4800 cash. Whether there is a buyer in Eugene maybe not.