About four years ago, I had taken a walk through my old neighborhood from childhood and came across this first-generation Oldsmobile Silhouette over by my first grade elementary school. I’ll try not to ruin this post with a lot of words, as this Silhouette is speaking very loudly and clearly without any help from me. I had actually wanted to use these pictures in a “Wordless Outtake”, but I realized there was just no way to do so, as this thing is the First Amendment on wheels.
“My 1996 van was stolen twice. I made it obnoxiously visible. Maybe it won’t happen again.” Have I mentioned in previous posts how “straightforward” is what I’d consider a defining quality of my hometown of Flint, Michigan? Of course, I say this with love.
I can just picture it: a sixty-something gentleman in denim overalls, lugging a large Tupperware container that’s chock-full of old children’s toys that his grandkids have outgrown up the wooden, basement stairs. His wife’s hot-glue gun that she uses for crafting is sitting on top. She has no idea what’s going on in the garage. All she knows is that she’s just relieved (for the second time) to have their van back, having put their insurance company’s check back in the mail earlier that week.
There’s an actual Dustbuster affixed to the roof of this thing. You’ve got to love the sense of humor on display here. (And no, I have no clue about what the “Zombie Queen” is or was and yes, I am curious.)
I get the feeling that this rolling toy chest just might fit right in, in Eugene, Oregon, but it’s story, message and execution are “Flint” to its core. Dustbust on, good citizens.
East Village, Flint, Michigan.
Sunday, June 9, 2013.
Related reading:
- From J.P. Cavanaugh: Curbside Classic: 1990 Oldsmobile Silhouette–How Hard Can It Be To Make a Minivan? (Part 3);
- From Brendan Saur: Curbside Classic: 1999 Oldsmobile Silhouette: Not “The Chrysler Of Minivans”; and
- From Jim Grey: Curbside Classic: 1991 Chevrolet Lumina APV – Go Home GM, You’re Drunk.
The Buick sticker on an Oldsmobile (the Cadillac of minivans, no less) in the city of Buick is a nice touch.
Joe, this one made me laugh out loud. You just have to love someone who gets that enthusiastic about theftproofing a vehicle in the most unconventional way. The actual Dustbuster affixed to this van confirms the owner’s good humor.
The wind noise must be deafening on the freeway; perhaps this is assigned to ’round-the-town duties only?
I love the sense of humor and quirkiness behind this, but a small killjoy part of me wonders about the safety aspect. “Yes, ma’am, your husband did survive the initial impact with the Oldsmobile, but the My Little Pony launched through the air did him in. And the Dustbuster lodged in his chest, of course.”
Ah, but what a way to go…. imagine the obituary!
Who knew that there was such a demand for dustbuster vans. Now I have to wonder why?
I hear stories about how kids used to lay down on the parcel shelf of big old American cars back in the day; this may be one of the few cars where one could lay on the dashoard. Seriously, the bottom of the windshield is in another timezone from the driver’s seat!
Yeah, you’d practically have to send a kid up there to clean the inside of the windshield. “Bring your lunch….”
Reminds me of this:
I met the owner, Harrold Blank, when he gave a lecture on art car culture at the College of Charleston in the 90s. He drove his “Camera Van” to the lecture:
Another GM Minivan with very different attitude
The religious art cars are the most amusing, although unintentionally so. The best one I saw was an 80’s Town Car hearse with a full size coffin strapped to the roof (maybe the back was already full) and a big sign on top asking “ARE YOU PREPARED TO MEET YOUR MAKER?”
If I were very religious it might be unsettling. But I found it to be hilarious in its absurd solemnity.
“Are you prepared to meet your maker??” “I don’t need to meet them, I already know my parents quite well thank you”
The dustbuster strapped to the top of the dustbuster appears to be a Buick model, judging by the emblem up there.
Definitely not a vehicle for the attention-shy!
Chris, it was a scale model of the original, Buick-branded prototype that was never built! ?
I don’t think you need all of those trinkets, to stop anybody, from wanting to steal it.
Even in stock form, with the keys in it, don’t think those GM “dustbuster” vans… Would be high, on any car thief’s list. 😀
If this thing doesn’t scream Amber Alert, I don’t know what does. But seriously, who the hell steals a minivan? TWICE?
Older minivans are a target for the thief who needs roomy transportation to commit other crimes. They’re fairly easy to steal (especially GM) and don’t attract attention. Usually the nefarious work is done fast and the van is abandoned somewhere, in a few hours.
Hysterical….you have to see it to believe it!!
I’m gonna go out on a limb here and guess that this van’s owner is a middle age single woman who lives alone with at least six cats.
I have to say that the yellow wheels on white somehow seems to work even though it shouldn’t.
I’m all for art, but desecrating the most awesome minivan ever is a bit bothersome.
I always figured that my 1990 Pontiac Transport was pretty much theft proof. Then this week some dickhead smashed the sliding door window. $125 at the independent guy, $241 at the chain place. It wasn’t personal though – also smashed a window on my neighbor’s old Rav 4.
Nothing taken from inside. Not even the broken factory cassette deck.
Clearly, someone has:
1. A medication problem, either too much or not enough.
2. Way too much time on their hands.
3. Escaped from a local mental health facility.
We switched to these vans in ’91 from Celeb and Century wagons. Those with 3800’s were great fleet vehicles. The 3400’s were also good – after the intake gasket issues were solved. My last one was a white ’96 Olds. It was sold to an older couple with a window blind business. It’s still goin’ strong.
The ‘steel vans’ that came later barely lasted or stayed on the road until we switched to W-body Impalas and Equinox. Premature rust and engine failures were big problems.
Oh man, I just noticed the GIANT Cadillac emblem on the back. Between this and the dustbuster, the owner is definitely up on Olds Silhouette jokes.
I can imagine it would be a pain to wash this and keep the white paint nice looking.
I can here the guy at a detail place now “oh f%^~ no!”
A thing of beauty is a joy forever.
I tried not to laugh but the trolls won!
Happy Motoring, Mark
I’ve always loved the Oldsmobile Silhouette. I thought it was the best looking of the three “dustbuster” vans, the Chevy Lumina APV, and the Pontiac Transport.