Never let it be said good ideas shouldn’t be shamelessly plagiarized expanded to enrich the lives of others. With the continued success of the CC Sales Lot, we wanted to open a branch more centrally located in North America.
But let’s go ahead and address that elephant in the room: This isn’t Eugene, Oregon, so the cars here are a bit more, uh, established. But this newest CC Sales Lot is close to the interstate, so it’s only a short drive from wherever you are.
Even for our friends in New Zealand, traveling from Auckland is just an oil change away. So, let’s take a look at our large and ever-expanding inventory – sure to make you salivate, daydream, and open your wallet. Like all car sales lots, prices are negotiable.
When was the last time you saw a ’55 Dodge two-door? This jewel can be yours for only $3,499 cash or twelve easy payments of $450, plus $300 for tax, title, and document fees.
Look at that! It’s a three-speed so you don’t have to dink around with that two-speed Powerflite and your sweetie can still snuggle up with you at the drive-in movie.
Don’t fret, a good wash and wax and this jewel will look like new!
If you like red, but desire something a bit more petite, here’s this red Opel. Just add a squirt of fuel and she’s ready to drive to her new home, for only $7,250 cash.
Maybe she does have a lazy eye, but that’s no step for a stepper. If you weren’t a stepper, you wouldn’t be looking, now would you? Even the tires are in good shape, which is fortunate, as tires in this size are getting quite scarce.
Of course, a fair number of our customers are looking for something more versatile than an Opel. So could I interest you in a good, solid F-150 for $1,795? It will haul or pull just about anything you need to move.
Then again, maybe you are the romantic, outdoors type who relishes a day of off-road fun and adventure. Here is a 4×4 F-150 with its very own hot tub – FREE! Nothing is quite as charming as sharing bath water with someone after a sweaty day of new and exciting wilderness adventure.
Please note there are some annoying little punks in the neighborhood and they love letting air out of tires. Don’t worry, I’ll give you all the air you need.
Plus, if you or your main-squeeze are the modest type, I’ve also thrown in your very own portable privacy fence! Love is truly in the air! It’s yours for only $1,995.
Sadly, not all vehicles are built for play. If you have trees to trim, painting to do, or install any type of advertising or outdoor lighting, here is the ticket for you – this rugged and hard-working F-350 bucket truck. With an ample weight rating for even the best fed of us, this money making bucket truck can be earning you money tomorrow for only $4,999 today. Don’t pass this one by.
Worried about the cost of fuel? Take your pick from one of these red J-cars for only $1,799 each or $3,598 for the pair.
These are so nice, if you don’t acquire both, your significant other will be red with rage. Deals like this just don’t last long.
For those of you more cognizant of style, forget those J-cars. How about this LeBaron convertible? Black cars exude confidence and sophistication; your friends will think you’ve spent a fortune, but you will get the last laugh as you will have only paid $2,995!
Looking for the ultimate in personal luxury? You have come to the right place as this ’78 Cordoba is the best example of fine automotive craftsmanship for miles around. Stacked headlamps are one of the ultimate signs of good taste and timeless design.
Sadly, the wheels have been liberated by those punks in the neighborhood. Don’t fret, a good set of whitewalls and wire wheel covers will soon be gracing the pride of Ricardo Montalban.
Speaking of the grace and elegance of stacked headlamps, this Dodge conversion van is just the ticket for your next family vacation. Pack up the kids, the in-laws, even all the in-laws kids! There is room enough for everyone.
This Dodge is the essence of everything that is a conversion van. Can’t you just imagine basking in the unparalleled luxury while piloting this fine chariot on exciting new adventures? $3,999 and the dream can be reality.
Having taunted you with the front row, let’s take a look at it. Feast your eyes on this ’58 Oldsmobile Dynamic 88. Teddy Roosevelt said to talk softly and carry a big stick; this Olds is talking as softly and seductively as Marilyn Monroe.
Wouldn’t you know it? This Olds comes to us from west central Oregon, which explains the moss growing out from behind the chrome. Don’t worry, she is as solid as a Sherman Tank; most people will call it a Sherman Tank! Scoff at the skeptics with twice the fuel economy!
Ranchero’s of this vintage are a rare breed, indeed.
Quite the cream puff, it looks like the only thing she has hauled is air mattresses and goose feathers. Rock-and-roll for $4,599.
Of all the cars on the lot, this ’70 Edsel Pontiac convertible is the bomb. She looks good from the front and
the back. We’ve been calling it the Mullet Machine. Why? A lot of folks born in 1970 sported a mullet at some point. This $6,499 Pontiac is no different.
It’s business in the front
with a big old party in the back! You can party like it’s still 1999!
The Pontiac is so radiant, this poor thing is almost sunburned…
We pride ourselves in catering to all form of clientele. Most want a car or truck they can drive off the lot. Some want a car or pickup they can form into their own image; treat it as a blank slate, if you will. For the weekend project, we offer you the following:
How about a nice touring sedan? While it is generating some income by holding a sign for the antique store next door,
it is a Dodge Brothers product. When was the last time you saw one on a car lot? That’s what I thought! We haven’t yet determined if it has the infamous gear reduction starter.
Here is more for you Mopar fans with this Chrysler.
Some rubbing compound and a new set of tires should get her back on the road in no time flat. Be the envy of many with a vintage Chrysler.
For the highly industrious and widely talented, we have this. We have even named her Patina Galore, a name inspired by a James Bond movie. Nobody here has a freaking clue as to what it is,
although it could benefit from a tune-up and a valve adjustment.
We offer a full line of services, with our own Ford F-3 tow truck,
and a Chevrolet shop truck that is always ready to assist. Yes, those little punks struck again.
New inventory is arriving daily, such as this Mercedes 380 SE
and this Toyota Celica. These Celica’s are hot items in Figure 8 racing, so it could go quickly.
Lastly, for the traditionalists, we have just the things to make you feel at home, such as this A-body wagon
and this Panther. These last two are here strictly for decoration as any used car lot is totally incomplete without them.
Hope to see you soon at the newly opened midwest branch of the CC Sales Lot.
First dibs on the black ’69-’70 C10 and Ciera Wagon. As much as I like the ’70 Pontiac, it’s just beyond hope.
If those kids steal my first two picks, I’ll take all three ’79 Ford trux. The ’79 Ford is my favorite year Ford pickup.
Dang, JB! I was gonna arm wrestle you for the Primer Poncho. 🙁
She’s all yours! 🙂
I’d take the 55 Dodge if it was in better condition.I’m one of the few who prefer the 55/56 Mopars to the flashy 57s.
Me too the power train from my 61 went into one of those.
I’m with you on 55-6 over 7, Miz Whitman.
I love 1939 Chryslers, but hoo boy, that one is a bit far gone particularly when you can buy a nice one around here for $10k – $15k
I seriously want that Cordoba….doesn’t look rusty at all.
Mid 20’s and a flathead four cylinder? I’ve got a feeling that could be an Essex.
Opel GT for me, of course.
Calling a car an Essex must have been a bad idea even then!
My first thought was a Hudson.
Aint seen a 55 2door i”ll take it but @ $1 a mile to your left coast plus shipping it wont be cheap, actually about 8k in mailing costs alone maybe not. F100s i can get here or from OZ in RHD so no sale sorry, The weekend projects look like they might take slightly longer to complete to me, Perhaps the Olds not many here it could be worth it
What’s this guy smoking? Missouri Maui Woowie?
On the Pontiac, what are those “things” to the inside of the headlamps? Blinkers? Why are they turned?
They are fake horns. Yep.
And all these years, I thought the real horns were mounted behind them!
The owner was such a fan of the movie Predator that he wanted to make the front of his Pontiac look like the alien’s mouth…
Make me a 2-for-1 deal. Throw a hitch on the Cordoba and I’ll use it to tow home the ’55 Coronet sedan.
Sold! Since you are taking two, we will even waive the document fee.
As my Father got older and closer to retirement he went from the job site to the office. When that happened he had to give up the company truck that backed into our driveway every evening as long as I could remember. To replace it he bought a yellow Ranchero just like in the picture. 6 cyl three on the tree, not even a radio. I drove it a few times when I was home on leave. Nice truck, when he retired and moved away several coworkers were lined up to buy it.
I’ll take either of the F-150’s – the ’70’s models are among my favorite trucks of all time. The F3 would also have a home in my imaginary driveway…I can hear the theme from “Sanford and Son” in my head already. All I have to do is paint it orange. Finally, the Cordoba would make a nice ride for the wife…too bad it wasn’t black. Nothing that a good paint job and some new wheels wouldn’t fix.
A friend has a F1 with turbo Nissan LD28 and 5speed Falcon diff nice truck.
“I bid 14 quatloos for no freaking clue!”
Jason; I’m glad to see that the first CC Sales Lot franchise seems to be off to a good start. Now about that first monthly franchise fee that’s getting a bit overdue…
Didn’t you mention a desire to upgrade your Chinook? I have just the thing. Plus, your cut is in the glove box!
Business is booming.
Is that Poncho a real convertible, or a basket case that some yokel sliced the roof off of?
Wow! Only 7,841 miles from Auckland, and Auckland is, like, only 145 kilometres from my house. Can miles and kilometres co-exist in the same sentence? Who knows?? Who cares???!!! I am deeply attracted to several of your fine quality products – especially the F-150 with hot tub AND privacy fence! And you’re offering to pay me only $1,995 to take it away? An absolute bargain! Just pop a bunch of postage stamps on it and mail it to me c/o Auckland Airport (please eradicate any snakes or spiders before posting it, our airport plant&animal staff strangely get a tad worked up about being bitten). Ta ever so much, yours in anticipation, Scott. 😉
I just want to know if we should change the oil before or after driving across the Pacific?
The bridge from California to New Zealand runs through Hawaii so you could always just stop in Honolulu and get the oil changed there.
Miles and kilometers happily coexist. It’s like saying your right foot is 28 centimeters long; it makes perfect sense.
The F150 is prepped, but the weight of the stamps is a lot. So much so the English lady at the post office said it translated to so many pounds. When I pressed further, she said she still converts in her head. Applying pounds to money is what can get confusing.
Anyway, postage is like $4500 (US) and that pickup is wallpapered with stamps. That alone was several pounds / kilograms.
The 55 Dodge speaks strongest to me, I’m sure to the surprise of many of the regular crowd around here.
If the stock power train could be salvaged I’d fuel injected it, throw the cliche Indian blanket on the seat, outfit it with some satin black steelies accented by chrome spyders and chrome bullet style lug nuts and black walls, oil it down and drive it.
If the power train wasn’t salvageable I’d find a Magnum 360 and mate it to a early 70’s 3sp so I could keep the column shifter.
Pastel paint,black wall tyres,dog dish hub caps,Indian blanket upholstery and a slant 6 or small block 2 barrel for a cool cruiser would suit me
I don’t know how well a slant 6 would fit in one of these as the engine compartment isn’t that wide. Maybe import a “Hemi 6” from down under.
I was thinking drivetrain and interior swap from an LX sedan. It should help that this car and the modern 300 both have 120″ wheelbase. And I’d probably repaint it in a period-correct 3-tone red-white-charcoal combination. Not a fan of the rat-rod look.
??
If I google LX sedan I get pictures of Honda Civics, which probably isn’t what you’ve got in mind.
Google “Chrysler LX platform” instead. 🙂
Ok that makes a lot more sense. Do it.
I dont’ see how wheel base would help or hurt a power train swap. Putting in the LX IRS would require much too complicated to be practical. To keep the drive shaft the same, assuming you did put the IRS in would likely require the engine to be mounted too far forward. Plus the LX stuff is really really expensive. A rebuilt trans is around $5K so for less than a used trans you could buy a complete Magnum power train and have money left over.
I wouldn’t call what I propose a “as found” and not a rat rod because I wouldn’t do all the customization that goes with a rat-rod.
True, when stuffing the 300 drivetrain into the ’55 it probably wouldn’t matter much that they have the same WB. I also figured it would help when trying to swap over interior bits, but I overlooked that the 300 is a 4-door which means the front seats don’t fold forward. That would be a requirement for rear seat access in the ’55…. so almost none of the newer interior parts would really swap over without a lot of rework.
I agree that it would cost a lot less and obtain almost the same results to buy a wrecked Dodge pickup and pirate the drivetrain from that, or rework the pickup frame to drop the ’55 bodyshell onto it. OTOH, I’ll also have this ’78 Cordoba which probably has a 318 or 360 and it’s also a 2-door. 😉
I really like the 55 Dodge, but still don’t understand why I have to pay for the paint sealant and the Scotchguard.
This is the funniest thing I have read in months – thanks Jason!
You guys need to re-hire that lot boy you must of let go in the early eighties. Those rigs need a good clean and some polish asap. A few could even do with a good clay barring. And maybe some tire shine for some of the tires. Lastly the lot needs to be reorganised in a way as to make the more apealing models jump out at the potential ahem buyers.
I think this lot saved a little money and used the rust bar instead of the clay bar on the paint finishes. Either that, or the Rusty Jones paint treatment was a case of genuine truth in advertising.
Ya know that flathead four-banger ran when parked.