To make up for all the truly grand American luxury cars he has photographed around Helsinki, LDeren has uploaded pictures taken during a visit to Moscow’s Retro Auto Museum. Maintaining balance in one’s hobbies is important, after all, and the simplicity displayed by this lineup of Zaporozhets is a perfect antidote to the profligacy of a daily-driven ’60s Imperial or Continental. But not all the cars in the museum are quite this humble…
Nope, the ostentation provided by this Moskvitch Kalita’s chunky chrome grille with vertical slats imparts a degree of prestige that shames the humble ZAZ. The result is a very, er…. formal and dignified sedan. I’d love to know the intricacies of the early post-Soviet market, the buyers a car like this was aimed toward, and the added expense over a regular Aleko, the blue car to the right from which this model was derived. Naturally, they were quite unpopular.
What does this remind you of? A certain K-car limosine, perhaps? Moskvitch borrowed from the best when extending the life of its Simca 1307-inspired sedan, emulating ’80s Chrysler in a cruder capacity.
Personal luxury didn’t die in the ’80s–who knew? Next to all the classic metal around it, the inspired design of this Kalita Duet stands out. All joking aside, these were clearly hard times for Moskvitch, whose engineers and designers could reasonably be assumed to be capable of much more. The motivations behind actually going ahead with this two-seater, however, are still hard to understand.
Why not just spend more time making concept cars such as these? Those responsible for curating this collection of cars which are otherwise quite likely to be disposed of should be congratulated. As we can see, this isn’t the swankiest museum, but it nevertheless serves its function of keeping history accessible to today’s enthusiasts. I wish them the best.
Last but not least, we have this Zündapp Janus, one of about 1700 built. Not a Soviet car, but then not everything in the museum is, these West German machines were built with an engine between two seats, around which a row of passengers sat on either side with their backs to each other. With nearly identical front and rear halves, it was an exercise in maximizing production efficiency. As we can see, this model is not parked on gravel, but on a proper floor. Perhaps it is an earlier acquisition or is perceived to be an item of higher value than the aforementioned concept cars.
All in all, a curious collection of automobiles. There are, no doubt, more traditionally respectable cars throughout the premises, some of which can be seen in the background of the above pictures. But as so many of those can be seen elsewhere in the world and in better condition, LDeren’s choice to snap pics of these rare oddities before they’re forgotten is most logical. Keep up the good work!
Related reading:
That Kalita sedan doesn’t remind me of a K-car so much as it does a ’78 to ’81 GM A-body in the doors. The rear end has a “Oh, dear God!” look to it, especially the tail lights which have more surface area on the fender than they do the rear.
Those tail lights almost look like they were repurposed from elsewhere and oriented differently, i.e. originally with the large side face being the back. Sort of like when you’re behind an RV and eventually realize what car donated its tail lights.
There’s a reason: this car had its tail elongated to make it more…something. Since they couldn’t spring for new rear fenders, they used the lights to span the distance from the end of the fender to the rear. The fender’s original end is quite noticeable.
I covered the Kalita, Duett and Prince Vladimir here: https://www.curbsideclassic.com/blog/cohort-classic-moskvitch-2142-prince-vladmir-if-you-think-this-is-bad-wait-till-you-see-the-brougham-version/
That thing really looks like a designer sat down with a picture of a Lincoln Town Car, a picture of an early 90’s Chrysler New Yorker, and a picture of a K-car limousine. And was told to make it fit the Aleko’s hardpoints.
Given the “quality” of that grille, by designer I may mean 12 year old.
Cool to see so many rarities preserved. But, a Russian auto museum with nary a ZiL or Chaika? Where are the Party brass-mobiles?
Sure the traditional Russian flagships were present! And very well represented. Many ZILs and Chaikas, some of them used to transport the country’s leaders. But then these are much more known cars than the ones featured in this article.
I equate the Russian auto industry to 1970’s era K-mart – plenty of everything, very little that’s actually any good.
That’s not to say I wouldn’t own a few select vehicles.
The UAZ 452 – where Jeep meets VW bus – particularly cool.
Moskvitch 401 – the best thing Stalin stole from the Germans
The ZIM 12 – a mix of American design with Soviet utility – a likable car actually.
The GAZ 21 – probably the height of American influenced mid-century Soviet design.
Never cared the Soviet VAZ-2100 series sedans… inherently unsafe at any speed and poorly built. FSO in Poland did a much better job with those licensed Fiats. I’d take a 125p 1500 with no problem.
In eastern bloc with it’s central controlled industry any serious develepment was hardly possible, so cars where produced too long, often with awkward styling “improvment” (e.d. Volga 31105) and a lot of concept cars and prototypes (often influenced by most modern western design) were made without chance to enter to production.
In comparision between Łada and Polski Fiat russian version had better performance (suspension, engine), yet both were in production way to long.
Had an FSO 125 p for 6 years,a great car but worthless if it breaks and you can’t fix it yourself.It was a lot more reliable than Dad’s Allegro!
The Kalita must be a failed late- or post-Soviet car by Moskvitch, from the late 1980s or 1990s. The style definitely imitates the worst of American auto design from the 1980s.
“Kalita” is an inspired choice for the name of a faux luxury car, though — it means “moneybag.” It was the nickname of Prince Ivan I of Moscow, who ruled during the early 1300s.
I had no idea that this museum existed. Occasionally I have seen entries from its website on an Eastern Bloc car Facebook group — the cars are all quite familiar and boring, but the lightly clad models are not — but I assumed that it was an online resource only.
Love that row of ZAZ! My own family’s Soviet heirloom is a ’72 966, with the 40 horse 1.2L. Still sitting in a garage in Novosirisk, we crank start it up every time someone in the family visits (once a year or so).
I was there in July!
I never actually believed these Asatryan’s emmm… luxury cars were indeed created by the original AZLK team of designers. Maybe he employed some Armenian designers to do the job ? The Moskvich-2142, which these were based on, wasn’t the prettiest car ever, truth be said, but it seems to be a relatively solid design for late 1980s, having some common features with, e.g., some GM products of the era
+ photo
AZLK = “Leninist Communist Youth League.” This is a non-sequitur (or lame attempt at concealment) of Monty Python caliber.
The hatchback Aleko is still better looking. But then almost every attempt ever to restyle a hatchback into a sedan hasn’t gone well.
This is why I’d rather visit a Russian tank museum; in a complete inversion vs. the West, they constantly upgraded & improved their tanks, & built thousands of them. The T-64 was very advanced for its time, ahead of the current M-60 with autoloader, 125mm smoothbore, & composite armor. It had teething problems & required field engineering support, which was why its simpler T-72 contemporary was used more widely & exported. Naturally, foreigners got the less-advanced export “monkey” model, encountered in the Gulf Wars. This contributed to the high morale of American tankers, thinking they outclassed Soviet tech.
I almost got to sit in one of these, but couldn’t because the hatch was left open & rainwater collected in the steel driver’s seat (no holes in bottom).
I don’t see why these cars get so much scorn. I think they are interesting, and it also has to be remembered that everything is beautiful in its own way.
Dear Messrs. Stempel, Poling, and Iacocca,
It is with great humility and regret that I apologize for my criticism and derision regarding some of the efforts of your respective companies during the 1980’s and into the 1990’s.
Sincerely,
A humbled and fortunate American citizen.
Most of the cars shown on these pictures are from the AZLK factory museum (whats left of it).
I lived my whole life in Moscow and Ive never seen any of these cars on the street. I have to admit it- they are not CCs. They are meuseum relics. Ofcourse, this doesent change the fact that they are interesting.
My dad owned a Moskvich 2141 in the late 80s. It was a very classy car back in those days (by eastern bloc standarts). Right now they are pretty rare, due to quality issues and lack of spares.
That Moskvitch Kalita must be the most hideous car that I have ever seen…..does it look that bad in person? Worse?
Hehehe… They lost the plot pretty quickly once the USSR unravelled, didn’t they?
Not just Moskvich–all the Soviet/Eastern Europe car-makers. That Kalita is just a perfect illustration, as are GAZ, VAZ and Izh cars of the 90s/2000s. Even my beloved Tatra was unable to cope and stopped making cars.
But they’re only dormant, not dead and gone (except Trabant, thank God, those are never coming back). The trick is to please the powers that be in the Kremlin. ZIL, who used to make the Kremlin’s limos, were asked to make some new models, but it doesn’t look good:
http://www.themoscowtimes.com/business/article/putin-unhappy-with-new-limousine/473408.html
What else is Putin going to ride in? HongQis?
Yes, Tatra is hands down the coolest eastern euro make. Fascinating cars. I’ve always wanted one.
The Moskvitch 2142 Ivan Kalita has to be the most half-assed car of all time. The fixed panes of glass in the rear doors, the taillight Extenze treatment, the plastichrome grille, the stick-on gloss woodgrain dash, the horrendous proportions, the sub-Matchbox build quality…
The basic Prince Vladimir version is much less appalling (and even more K-car-like), but it really seems like Moskvitch wasn’t even trying by this point. I would have assumed they were a Chinese bootleg of a European car if I hadn’t been told otherwise. Soviet Moskies may have been crude, spartan things, but they at least had some dignity. What a sad way to go out.
The museum itself, on the other hand, looks awesome and I’d love to visit! I’ve always been interested in Russian/Eastern European cars and the building it’s located in (the old AZLK factory?) is really cool.
The proportions on the Moskvitch Kalita and (especially) the Duet (a Bertone Volvo for mental defectives) are just so wrong wrong WRONG that I’m getting a mild case of vertigo just looking at them. My eyes keep trying to sort these hideous forms back into more more pleasing and familiar shapes (e.g. the various earlier cars the Moskvitch designers cribbed from) so that I can process the visual info but it’s just not working, dammit! These pictures are literally nauseating.
Tom Klockau’s Photochop of a trunk-ated ’78 Lincoln is a symphony of symmetry and gracefulness by comparison.