It appears from my casual observations on public transportation and in the office that the mustache is making something of a comeback. I suppose it never really left, but in my mind, I had always associated a mustache with gentlemen who are or were older than me. My dad had a mustache for all but maybe six months during my entire lifetime. When he shaved it off (and I forgot for what reason), it was thoroughly disorienting. I was so very relieved when I saw that it was back during one of my returns from college. One of my uncles has always sported a thick one, and his son, my cousin, also has one. Just as many men in my extended family are or were clean-shaven, like my late grandpa and Uncle Jim. I’ve grown facial hair and was one of many who sported one of the most nineties things for guys in that era: a goatee. I also wore sideburns for a while when I still had a full head of hair. I have never, however, grown just a mustache.
When my hair started thinning by my mid-twenties and I had decided to just shave it all off, facial hair was one way I could change the way I looked, since different hairstyles were then out of the question. These days, I just work with a little bit of stubble and call it a day. However, I now have more than a few coworkers in the office and on the building floor where I work who weren’t even born when I started my insurance career and now wear a thick mustache. This trend has gone beyond the “Movember” movement that involves the growing of a mustache during November to raise awareness of issues related to men’s health. Maybe some participants in this annual event had decided after the month had turned to December that they liked the mustache they had cultivated and wanted to stick with it. That’s fair.
I want to be clear that I have no real opinion about it, either way, and ultimately, I have my own upper lip on which to grow, or not grow, whatever I want on it. What I can say, though, is that maybe ninety percent of the time, a mustache doesn’t make me think of associations with the eternally-cool Tom Selleck or Eddie Murphy, or of some Viking king from days of yore. It makes me think of Ned Flanders from The Simpsons, Kip Dynamite, any number of former professors, teachers, fellow landscapers, or my Uncle Bob. All of this is fine, and I suppose that the general absence of the mustache among my Generation X cohort, which is now old enough to have adult children who can either grow thick mustaches or appreciate them, means that these now-grown kids probably have completely different associations with the mustache than I do.
Anyway, this Crossfire fastback was parked in my neighborhood a couple of months ago. Maybe only five years ago, I wouldn’t have stopped to photograph a Crossfire, but with only one new Chrysler for sale these days, the Pacifica minivan, I’m now especially drawn to any non-minivan Mopar. The Crossfire remains something of a tragic hero in my mind, born of Chrysler’s ultimately unsuccessful merger with Daimler, sharing the underpinnings of the perfectly respectable Mercedes-Benz SLK-class, but getting little or none of that same level of appreciation. There was also the Crossfire’s styling, which could be alternately characterized as daring to some, or too busy or just plain unattractive to others. I like them, as I’ve written before. It was while walking around to the front of this car that I noticed it had a custom grille up front that resembled, to me, anyway, a mustache.
So, apparently, this mustache trend has even extended to cars. In case any are concerned for my ongoing sobriety, I wasn’t under the influence of any substances when I wrote this essay. Maybe a carstache was just the first thing I thought of at a time right after receiving invitations to high school graduation parties for the children of my peers, whose sons are now wearing the kind of facial hair I couldn’t grow successfully until well into my twenties. I digress.
This is a perfectly nice-looking aftermarket grille on this Crossfire, and aside from a few minor dings, this two-seat sports car looked to be in good shape. The original grille, with its eggcrate pattern accented by horizontal, chrome strips (as pictured in the brochure photo above), is more to my liking, but that’s just in keeping with my general preference for a factory-stock appearance. I suppose what looks right to us, in terms of either facial hair or a car’s exterior features, is largely based on familiarity. I’ve thought about growing a mustache simply to mess with people, but there’s a small part of me that’s afraid I might just like and want to keep it.
Edgewater, Chicago, Illinois.
Friday, April 12, 2024.
Tom Halter wrote this excellent, firsthand review back in 2020. Here’s another one of my takes on this model from 2022.
Ah, the mo. A crumb-encasing accessory that rarely improves those thus accessorized.
The poor Crossfire, however – a name possibly eponymous, in that it arguably resembles something caught in the same in which it lost its tail – has aesthetic issues enough that it would probably be elevated by a mo, an actual one, that is, or, indeed, eyebrows, or a beard (though lord knows it was never hairy-chested).
I too once grew a moustache, and for a bet, it was a really nasty Chopper Reid one that extended at 90 degrees each side down to my chin, but once my hitherto-polite father sighted it and exclaimed, “Good grief lad, why cultivate on ya face what grows wild on your bum?”, I shaved it off.
That Chopper Reid-style ‘stache actually sounds cool. Why not just go for it? Seriously. Your dad’s response, though. 😆🤣
Now that you mention it, it sort of does look like a moustache.
I had one for a few years in my early 20s, and my old law school roommate still sports his. I shaved it off one day and everyone told me how much younger I looked, and I guess once you pass the age of 21, looking older is no longer something to be attempted on purpose. In a kind of a CC Effect, the son-in-law came for a visit the other day wearing one – the first time I had ever seen one on him.
As for the car, I never developed much love for these. I tried to like them, but like so many of the vehicles that came from Chrysler styling studios under the Daimler regime, the results did not work for me.
“Tried to like” describes my early relationship with the Crossfire’s styling though unlike you, I eventually got there. I wholeheartedly agree with you about the efforts of Daimler-era Chrysler’s styling studios, which our Peter Wilding also alluded to recently in a comment on my Neon essay. None of the fun carried over from before the merger.
Whiskers. Moustache. As often happens, Joe, you’ve called something out that I’ll now not be able to unsee. In a good way, of course.
I hadn’t noticed just how the Chrysler logo (one of so many automotive logos that sprouted/appeared/reappeared around about that time that featured wings) looks like a moustache on this car. Even more impressive are the “whiskers” on the side vents. Although these look even more like whiskers in the 19th century President Chester A. Arthur manner (a reasonably unremarkable presidency, but truly magnificent facial hair).
Previously, I’ve ragged on the Crossfire for sporting those ridiculous (my opinion) ridges on the hood…that remind me of the chin of a Blue Whale. I’m sure the vehicle would be entertaining to drive (I never have), but the looks….sheesh.
Wow, Jeff – before you mentioned the winged Chrysler logo in this comment, I hadn’t quite made that mustache connection, but it’s even more there now. I suppose I could have gone with the hood strakes and side vents as a reference point for whiskers (also an appropriate metaphor), but I guess that’s just not where my muse took me when I wrote this over a month ago. 🙂
At this point any of these are worth the pixels to capture them. These may be extinct in a few more years; they are likely already on the endangered species list, as it seems most Chrysler products from that era already are.
When it comes to facial hair, I fall into the camp of “all because you can doesn’t mean you should”. I grew a beard for Movember back in 2017 but it had a bit of salt in with the paprika (yes, that’s accurate, it was not black). The overall look was not good in my mind; someone even told me to get a tweed jacket to complete the English professor look. Now, there is entirely too much salt (despite having very little on my scalp) and it gets cut every two or three days. I’m not vain, but there is also no reason to make yourself look worse.
Jason, in all seriousness, sometimes I can’t tell if you’re being serious or if you’re trying to make me laugh. 🤣 The English professor look… When I tried to grow more than just stubble, I was shocked at how much gray there was, and all over. That, by itself, isn’t a problem, but if I chose to grow a full beard, I’m sure I’d go instantly from looking like I’m in my thirties to my late 50s in the span of seven days.
And, yes, these Crossfires are only getting more and more scarce. I think I’ll be a little sad when I realize I no longer see random examples on the street anymore.
When these came to the UK I liked them because of how different they looked, but on learning they had Mercedes underpinnings just thought they would be too expensive to run. I haven’t seen one on the road for a while.
As to the moustache, when I first tried to grow one in the 70s it was thin and pale in colour, certainly not a porn star look. Last time I attempted it was all grey, so it didn’t even last to the end of Movember.
PS Is the best car moustache the Fiat 500?
Hummel, that’s a great point about the costs associated with the Mercedes-sourced componentry. I wonder if this has any real (adverse) impact on the popularity of these cars on the secondhand market.
This essay went in a different direction than I expected. When first introduced, Jeremy Clarkson derided the Crossfire as a hairdresser’s dream, implying that the car was all show and no go. I thought the references to the elaborate facial moustaches now in vogue among young men, often achieved with wax and other professional styling tricks, was harkening back to Clarkson’s insult.
In any event, I have always preferred a clean-shaven look for myself, both because it’s low maintenance (aside from a quick daily shave) and much cooler on hot, humid summer days. I know many young guys who currently sport all sorts of facial hair, including moustaches, beards, or just scruff, and many of them look quite good. Modern dress codes are relaxed enough to accomodate everyone.
With respect to the Crossfire, its appearance on the automotive scene was mercifully brief. My only experience with one was an attempt to sit inside a floor model at an auto show, where I quickly discovered that headroom was sorely lacking for anyone taller than 5’7″.
Speaking of Jeremy Clarkson, do you remember the episode where they “built” an EV? The Hammerhead Eagle i-Thrust. The whole bit is hilarious, for anyone who hasn’t seen it, but there’s one part in particular that’s pertinent. Jeremy builds a “mood room” to inspire him, which includes actor Peter Bowles sporting a mustache. At some point he asks “has anyone done a car with a mustache?” And the car did sport a velvet mustache on its flat, featureless front (no openings, so I can’t call it a grill; maybe Elon Musk was inspired by it?). Somehow he forgot about the Crossfire though, and I’m sure we could find earlier examples.
I honestly had no idea these were so lacking in headroom, but I suppose I might have assumed so just based on its stance, relatively short length, and low roof. This reminds me of a conversation I had recently with a friend about the Pontiac Fiero. He and I both agree that even though neither one of us could probably drive one for any long distance, it’s still on the fantasy garage list. (The later one.)
That’s a great point about summer not being the ideal time to grow facial hair. This reminds me that every time I’ve met if go for a few days, I always end up itching before I trim it back again. I am also thankful for relaxed dress codes in the workplace.
I’m impressed that some company decided to tool up a custom grille for a Crossfire, given their sales numbers. Maybe it was done when it was introduced thinking it would be a hit, and somewhere there is a pile of these around.
I appreciate the styling but I am tool tall and big-boned to fit in these things. My FIL has the Mercedes equivalent but he is a little Italian guy so it fits him perfectly. I feel like Magnum, PI when I fall into his MB with the top down. Top up – my spine does not appreciate it.
I like your theory about am aftermarket manufacturer’s assumption that these were going to be a bit. Most of what Chrysler has put out right before the merger would have indicated the continued success of newly introduced models.
When I met my current wife, I was sporting a Van Dyke. Many folks call this a Goatee. This is sort of a misnomer, as the Goatee IS the beard part, but the Goatee does not include the Moustache. Wear both? And it’s a Van Dyke. Although what facial hair has to do with a great sixties era comedian that starred along side Mary Tyler Moore I have no clue, but I too digress….
My wife said to me, “I want to see your face without the ‘Goatee’ – I wanted to correct her, but didn’t want to ruffle any feathers 😉 – and to “please shave it off.”
I did, and now I only wear it from on or about the Winter Solstice to the Vernal Equinox.
I like it and she’s not a fan. I get a 1/4 year with it on, and she gets the rest of the year with it off…
As to the Crossfire? I’ve never been a fan really, as I’ve always felt its proportions were just off… kinda like what my wife says about my face when sporting the Van Dyke….
I could see how someone could make that mistake. I could rock a Van Dyke. It’s great that you and your wife found a compromise!
In a very weird CC Effect, I got in my Civic to drive home tonight, and the radio personalities were talking about this very thing… the difference between a Van Dyke and a Goatee… cue the Twilight Zone music…
It counts. The CC Effect is very real.
I haven’t had a mustache without a beard, along with some scruff, for decades. But I did see a Crossfire coupe recently, and was reminded that it’s a distinctively attractive car. In a way that a mustache on my face is not. And a reminder that Chrysler should not just be a purveyor of one minivan model. Give the brand a broader lineup, or put it out of its misery.
Dman, I really hope Chrysler completes some kind of reinvention, whether that means with electric vehicles, or whatever, and that Stella tis diesn’t just end it. I had high hopes for the Airflow, whether or not that was rational.
As a card-carrying member of Gen-X (who now constantly gets mail wanting me to upgrade to also carrying a card from AARP), the three main associations with mustaches for myself and I suspect many others of my generational cohort are:
1. Thomas Magnum – the high point?
2. 1970s (male) Porn Stars – the low point?
3. Chandler from Friends when he grew one – The final tipping point?
The Crossfire was another one of those bold statements from DCX that perhaps didn’t really improve on its Mercedes SLK underpinnings beyond having a very distinctive shape, which though in itself is worthy of applause instead of just following the herd. Its own never so thick herd seems to have thinned in similar fashion to that of the early SLK, and seeing either these days is worthy of a second glance. The ‘stache does not improve the look in this case (in my opinion), and it’s not like it needs to stand out in a non-existent crowd of others of its ilk.
Weren’t 1 & 2 the same thing? 😉
And regarding 3, although I watched Friends, I don’t recall that episode. It must not have been noteworthy.
Definitely agree about Thomas Magnum, who has undoubtedly inspired many to attempt growing a mustache. Or to own a red Ferrari 308.
Jim, your comment has me wondering now about how the Crossfire would have fared with more conventional or anodyne styling. As I type this, I’m convinced that for Chrysler to sell something with “old” Mercedes underpinnings, it had to make a strong statement. A conventionally pretty coupe and convertible probably wouldn’t have been enough to get attention, unless it was an absolute knockout. Especially for the price.
A guy I know had some of these as his high school cars, yes cars. His dad was an engineer at Chrysler and these were selling so poorly that they offered incredible short term lease deals on these to clear out the storage lots. He told me his dad said it was the cheapest lease deal at the time.
That’s amazing that these were the most inexpensive lease deals for that moment, but given that sales never really took off, sadly, I’m not too surprised. This would have been beyond cool to have as a teenager. I maintain my love for them, and not just out of pathos.
I tried to grow a mustache. Also a beard. But they stopped growing and they never looked like anything more than my forgetting to shave. Sloppy. So I gave up!
I usually prefer the original factory appearance of a car to add-ons but this one is quite nice. However, I could not understand the ridges on the hood, either. As I recall, they also “graced” some other DaimlerChrysler products, but no real Chryslers. They must have been a German affectation, and a cheap one, characteristic of what they did to Chrysler.
HEIL DAIMLER!
If I recall correctly, the redesigned 2008 Sebring also got those hood strakes – probably in a bid for some of the Crossfire’s “halo effect” that ultimately never materialized.
Crossfires were okay in my eyes but they shared the ridged hood with the Sebring. I knew that the crossfire was built by Karmann. I’ve sported a mustache since I got out of high school, it’s been over fifty years and counting! It was a family thing, since my Dad and Uncles always had them. There was a great discussion of facial hair on The Art of Manliness website. (it’s not what you think!). The point was that the only people that would remark on your mustache are your family and close friends. Nobody on the street is going to stop and tell you, ” That mustache looks terrible, you are not a mustache person!” So if you want a mustache you’ll just have to tough it out for the first few weeks. My Son wouldn’t copy my ‘stache, so he went his own way with a Steeve Reeves kind of beard/stache combo. He is a handsome lad, but no Hercules. But then neither am I.
Ah, Steeve Reeves, of the spaghetti… well, obviously not western, but the output that resulted when the same group of Italians turned to the Greek demigod genre. Maybe you’re coming from the Mystery Science Theater 3000 side of things (like me); if not, all the episodes where they send up Hercules movies are great. I think it was Hercules Unchained that featured Steeve Reeves. The movies themselves aren’t bad though; actually, there was a lot of work put into the sets and props. Like you, I’m lacking the looks to rival Hercules. I can match the beard, but I lack the chiseled jaw-line, and the years when the top of my head could sprout such a pompadour are long gone…
Jose, that’s a great point about random people not commenting on another’s personal presentation, especially facial hair. I can’t imagine doing that to someone else, but again, I’m not everybody. I can’t even remember if I had asked my dad to “Grow it back, Man! Please grow it back! Nothing makes sense until your mustache returns!”
I wish I had read your comment before I responded to G. Poo.n above, sinve you confirmed what I thought I remembered about the ’08 Sebring having the hood lines. Those were gone when the Sebring was reborn as the 200.
I grew a mustache my last deployment in the Navy and never shaved it off – I’d grown one before for mustache March or on deployments. I also grew a real mountain man beard in the time off after that, but sadly, being a pilot it seems most employers aren’t impressed with beards. That said, my completely unstatistical, unscientific observation is that if you get on a plane and your pilot has a nice, full mustache, you’re in good hands. I mean, look at Robin Olds…
Anyway, Chryslers of the timeframe that brought us the Crossfire seem to sprout mustaches. I suppose you could argue they kind of had that look from the factory, but the custom grill craze hit Chryslers hard, particularly the 300 Rolls Royce wannabe grill. What’s really crass is the ones that don’t even try to integrate with the nose of the car. That’s the epitome of a bad mustache in the car world. I get it because the car had kind of a Burt Reynolds machismo to it, but the Rolls-style grill on it was the equivalent of a handlebar mustache on Burt Reynolds. You’re pushing too far. Some men’s faces are just born for a mustache, and so too, some cars. The thing is, car stylists aren’t complete idiots, so too often what you’re doing with a custom grill is growing out a ridiculous mustache where there was already a well fitting one. Now and then there’s room for improvement, but it’s the exception.
On the Crossfire itself, in retrospect, I have to say “what a perfect name!” A car designed and built out of the crossfire between the two heads of the beast that was Daimler-Chrysler. It’s not a terrible car, in form or function though. I have a friend who has one, and it does the job. For sure it’s head and shoulders above the likes of a Sebring, unless you’re a codger who’d never explore the handling short of a panic maneuver and could use the back seat for grandkids. But it’s not really sporting – it can’t hold a candle to a Miata or Boxster – and it falls well short of being a style icon you’d just cruise around to be seen in, like the original Thunderbird (even Ford’s revival attempt missed the mark). Again, not a bad car if you accept it for what it is; looks like this example is owned by someone who wanted more, but only managed to make less of it.
You bring up an interesting point about what the Crossfire’s actual mission was. I’m still thinking about it. You mentioned that it was better than a Sebring (which I hope it would be with the Mercedesness under the skin), but not sporty like a Miata or Boxster. It was just a two seater.
It’s interesting you also mentioned the Thunderbird, because as I think about it now, that’s the closest comparison from that time that I can come up with. Both really expensive two-seaters that were meant to be halo cars, with good performance that wasn’t earth-shattering. (I like those T-Birds too, for the record.)
I’ve seen some good custom grilles and some bad ones, and the one on this Crossfire seems pretty innocuous compared to others I’ve seen.
Interesting observations, all. More interesting than the car.
I used to have a lovely thick head of hair. When I let it grow long (seventies, remember), it had this wave Mum said girls would kill for. I grew a moustache, primarily because shaving there was such a nuisance. The high school allowed moustaches but not beards. Just wait till I get out of school….
I couldn’t see the logic in shaving off every day something that was just going to come back anyway. At uni I grew out my beard. After a bit I had my hair cut to the classic ‘short-back-and-sides’ style. Nothing special. My hair was so thick that long hair made me feel hot all the time. I didn’t really care what I looked like, it’s just a body. Then my hair began thinning, and my favourite aunt insisted on paying for ‘treatment’ from a well-advertised business Justy can guess but which I won’t name. Did more for their cashflow than my hair, but then industrial-strength early baldness is apparently a Wilding trait – thankfully not inherited by my son.
Not being into the TV/movie thing I never associated a mo with anybody in particular, except maybe my dad, with whom I had a ‘troubled’ relationship.
The Crossfire? A curious but underwhelming piece of design, with weird proportions for a fastback coupe. I would never have thought the Rambler Marlin roofline needed a reprise, or would work on an even shorter wheelbase than the Tarpon show car, but obviously somebody thought otherwise. I hadn’t even noticed the custom grille on this one. Custom grilles can look good, but this one looks more like a scarred lip. Needs hiding.
Peter, the AMC Marlin and Tarpon show car comparison is one I hadn’t considered, or at least thought of for a very long time – wow, very apt. Whereas the ’67 Marlin was elongated, the Crossfire is the horizontally-squished opposite of that.
I had thought from time to time about doing the Bosley Hair Solutions thing, but nope. I’d rather have the money and I like the way I look. If I was meant to have that thick, lustrous hair I used to have, it would have remained that way without any help. C’est la vie.
A most excellent piece Joseph!
While I was growing up in the late 70s/80s, all the men in my family were clean shaven, except Mum’s younger brother who sported a thick mo. My teenage idol, Freddie Mercury, made me think facial hair was cool, and I never liked my chin, ergo the minute I could grow a full beard, I did so aged 18. 32 years later, it’s never gone away long – although I did follow the goatee fad from 1994-2000ish.
The 2-3 of times I did shave it off, I immediately got terrible shaving rash and shaving bumps, so back came the beard. My husband has never been able to grow a full beard, but can grow a better moustache then me, and is currently sporting a magnificent Victorian-era twirled-end moustache. I occasionally consider going cleanshaven again, but I really just can’t be bothered shaving every day, and now that my head hair is receding and thinning, my beard balances it.
Re the Crossfire, I wanted to like them, but the roof/rear styling seems out of proportion to me. The convertible version, minus the toupee, does look much better. I do like the moustache on the featured one though!
Thank you, Scott! And believe me, I know about the shaving rash from an ill-considered experience with shaving against the grain for what felt like a closer shave. And after this piece had run, I also thought of Freddie Mercury as an example I also should have cited of the archtypal mustache! I may have to put on some Queen today.
I like the Crossfire’s fastback roofline, but that the convertible looks more conventionally attractive brings another example of coupe-to-convertible that had the same effect: Triumph TR7 (and TR8).
The mustache belongs firmly and squarely in my distant past but a Crossfire? Hmmm… I actually don’t mind them, to me their main failure was Chrysler not offering a V8 option. I already have one old car for my masochistic tendencies but the below, fitted with the rare manual box which is for sale here in Austria (not too far from where I live) for €14,900, would tempt were I to win a modest sum on our lottery.
That is a great shot. The no-V8 thing also came up in conversation with a friend about Chrysler products of this era recently, but in reference to the Prowler, which also should have gotten one.