A husband went to the sheriff’s department to report that his wife was missing.
Husband: My wife is missing. She went shopping yesterday and has not come home.
Sergeant: What is her height?
Husband: Gee, I’m not sure. A little over five-feet tall.
Sergeant: Weight?
Husband: Don’t know. Not slim, not really fat.
Sergeant: Color of eyes?
Husband: Never noticed.
Sergeant: Color of hair?
Husband: Changes a couple times a year. Maybe dark brown.
Sergeant: What was she wearing?
Husband: Could have been a skirt or shorts. I don’t remember exactly.
Sergeant: What kind of car did she go in?
Husband: She went in my truck.
Sergeant: What kind of truck was it?
Husband: It’s a brand new 2015 Ford F150 King Ranch 4X4 in White Platinum Tri-Coat Metallic with eco-boost 5.0L V8 engine special ordered with 6-speed manual transmission. It has a custom matching white cover for the bed. Custom leather seats and “Bubba” floor mats. Trailering package with gold hitch. DVD with navigation, 40-channel CB radio with SSB, six cup holders, and four power outlets. Added special alloy wheels and off-road Michelins. My wife put a small scratch on the drivers door.
At this point the husband started choking up.
Sergeant: Don’t worry buddy. We’ll find your truck.
Only six cup holders?
soooo, Why did you let her drive that new truck, man, alone???
It never ceases to amaze me what people over 30 find funny.
I’m guessing that either you’re not married or your only vehicle is a beater. 🙂
My thoughts exactly, BigOldChryslers!
Well I’m 31 years, older than 30. I laughed out loud..
A father and his daughter cruised down a lonely country road in the family’s 1976 Buick Electra. Suddenly they were forced to pull over by a bunch of robbers.
The robbers took all their clothes, personal possessions and the Buick. Once the robbers were gone the daughter calmly opened her mouth and pulled out her diamond ring she had rapidly hidden there.
“Damn !”, said dad, “it’s a bloody shame your mother didn’t come with us, then we could have saved the Buick too !”.
…How about that ? I must add though that in the original / rougher version the mouth in the joke was something else…
I’m looking for a “Like” button to click for this comment. But I’m kinda twisted, so…
Get off my lawn!
It never ceases to amaze me what those under thirty find funny…
Nothing quite like youthful arrogance huh?
You can special order a truck, you can’t special order a wife.
(Even with a mail-order bride, you’re taking delivery from dealer stock, after all!) 😛
Hilarious! 😉 This is how I felt waking up and discovering my ex had disappeared along with my beloved Golden Olive 1973 Bonneville coupe.
Change “truck” to “motorcycle” and you’ve pretty well nailed it.
Yep 😀 !
I was delighted to learn here the other day that the Chrysler 300 offers heated and cooled cup holders. Wonder how long it will take Ford to catch up?
Whew! When I read the description I though he was talking about my .wife…. But fortunately my truck is a different color.
hahaha
Car 1976 firemist sapphire blue cadillac coupe deville, license plate number B109, Boyfriend…… uh asian, black hair, kind of average height, glasses?
This reminds me of the exchange in Howard Mohr’s masterpiece How to Talk Minnesotan (which I suspect a lot of CCers would enjoy heartily) in which a Minnesotan attempts to engage another Minnesotan in coversation. His inquiries into the guy’s choice of films, books, etc. garner no more than a single sentence in reply, but the question “What are you driving these days?” elicits a two-page response about the joys and sorrows inherent in driving a ’70 Chrysler Newport (including an unexpected excursion through a runoff pit from a feedlot).
Google “How to talk Minnesotan Chrysler Newport” to see what I mean
that’s a great book, I see a LOT of me and my family in it.
I will probably forget your name. I might forget your face. I will never, ever forget your car. Sadly, I am not kidding.
+100 on that one!!! 🙂
Oh, boy. I just realized it. You’re right.
I’m with you on that. I never NEVER forget a car.
When I read this post, that was the first thing that popped into my mind, and I know I got that quote from you. Did you come up with that or get it from somewhere?
Joining the group…
I’m with ya!
Change the F-150 to red and the base 17″ wheels and you’ve got my pickup. So you now have me pictured!
Seriously, this was pretty good. When last seen, my wife was wearing a red nightgown; her hair is black and to her shoulder blades. She stands 5’8″.
….and she was standing behind you, reading this article over your shoulder, so you had to come up with a good comment. 😀
6-speed manual and 40-channel CB on a new F-150? In what parallel dimension is this crazy beast sold?
C’mon guys my wife takes my 69 AMX or 66 Bonneville convertible any time the mood strikes. They are after all just cars. OPPS I bet that last line will get me kicked off the site, forget I said anything.
If only you could still get a new truck with a six speed manual…
You can.
Ram 1500 Tradesman, and other trims.
I don’t believe you can get a stick in a RAM truck unless it’s a 2500 or 3500, and then only with a Cummins. So the stick is effectively a ~$4000 option.
Ramtrucks.com’s Build & Prices points to the manual being HD-only.
But the 2016 Toyota Tacoma will also have a six-speed, on the V6 only.
I was thinking full-size trucks, but that’s a good point. Mid size and smaller can still be found with manuals, and today’s mid size trucks are approaching the size of 90’s full size trucks.
I will pay you a $2000 finders’ fee for a 2015 or newer RAM1500 with a manual transmission, that is located in the USA. The moment I close the deal, I hand you 20 crisp $100 bills.
I’ve always had a warped sense of humor so this would have been funny to me @ age 15 too .
SWMBO flat refuses to drive my vehicles .
-Nate
Without reading any comments, just gotta say that is positively hilarious. Yes, I may have heard a variation of something like that in the past, but that still got me. Being as I have been a car nut my entire adult life, many of my closest friends and co-workers are, too. To some people, it might at times sound like a favorite or cherished car, truck or motorcycle is more important than even your own family members. If a guy with no children is going through a nasty divorce, that may even be true in some cases.
As a retired bartender of 30 years, I still use the drink description with other bartenders. As a motorhead of 60 years, I still use the car description when talking to another motorhead bartender. As in…
“You remember that guy, don’t you? He drank Absolut and cranberry pints, and drove a beat-up gray Saturn.”
My cousin : “Do you remember Paul Thingamagig ?
Me : “Er… No ?”
– He’s the uncle of our second degree cousin, from our grandfather side”.
– Nope. Can’t say who he is.
– He lives in the third house, just after the bridge, on the left, when you’re going east.
– …
– For Pete’s sake, he’s always been around us since we were babies !!!
– …
– He drives a brown Nissan Patrol with a white canopy, diesel, 4WD, early eighties.
– Oh ! THAT guy ! Ok, I see who he is”.
*True story*
That reminds me of something. When somebody’s giving me directions to their place, I always ask what cars I’ll see in the driveway.
I was telling someone where I lived, and as I described what it looked like, he said “Oh. The place with the young person’s car in the driveway!”
They’re out there.
Maybe she is hiding in the MIDBOX!! Do they have that option for 2015?
I suspect that this has evolved from the “Send picture of tractor” joke….
I reckon I ain’t like most husbands. I could describe my wife tithe police if I had too. I’d just tell them to follow all the hot air. 🙂
Hope she doesn’t read this. 🙂