My eyes! My eyes! Once seen, some things can’t be unseen. Such are the sins of our fellow citizens that defy explanation and are the subjects of this (very) occasional series with another entry; should you have missed the previous entry, it is here. And the 25,037 exhibits before that one are out there as well, just undocumented. But you know you’ve seen some of them. Yeah, you have, you know it.
There’s nothing fundamentally wrong with a 1990 Mercedes 300E (W124 series) which is what’s underneath this abomination. In fact, it’s one of the best vehicles ever made and something that Mercedes would do well to re-examine and figure out where they went wrong after ending production of the series. But maybe what happened to this particular one is the reason that we as a people were deemed unworthy of another. I can’t really argue with that logic. Well, it’s my logic anyway, so I’m not going to argue with myself. But I will expound further on this, so get your waders on, it’s gonna get deep…
I don’t generally criticize the rides of others when they are on the street, everyone is free to choose their own form of expression, if I don’t like it I can simply avert my eyes, it’s all good. Once in the junkyard however it’s fair game; after all, it was tossed away instead of being resuscitated and even sticks and stones can’t hurt it any further once here, so a few written words aren’t going to either.
While completely unnecessary on any car, I don’t absolutely hate these tops in principle, at least not a snug fitting one that came that way from the manufacturer and is maintained well. I wouldn’t necessarily choose the option when spec’ing a new car, mind you, neither today nor the yesteryear that I might wish to emerge into from Doc’s DeLorean, but some cars do look alright with them. At least the non-padded ones that is, the padded ones just generally look like a full diaper on a 2-year-old. Blecch! However, a line must be drawn, ideally with a big fat marker. And that line is when such a top was not a manufacturer’s option or feature. There’s no excuse in that case, it’s just wrong, looks wrong, feels wrong, and even if you doubled up on it, two wrongs would not make a right. Not even on the Florida Panhandle or just south of Colfax or wherever this Mercedes was hobbled, a dealer larding overpriced aftermarket crap on a car is NOT a manufacturer no matter how vital they may *think* they are.
Mercedes did actually make a convertible version of the W124, so if this is trying to emulate that, it failed. Why? Well, this example has four doors, the convertible only has two, so that’s kind of a big giveaway. Yes, I understand the convertible was priced uncomfortably close to twice the cost of the sedan, but that’s no excuse. You either have the money to play, or you should just buy a Toyota Solara convertible, there’s no shame in that. And the ultimate point of a convertible is to have the top down, which is just not going to happen with a few scraps of fabric glued to a solid top.
If you feel I’m a little down on this thing, well, you are an astute individual, give yourself a hug to celebrate. But I can appreciate the details, such as the overlapping fabric and the stainless trim with snap buttons. Snap buttons that have nothing to be buttoned to, but, well, yeah. It’s like getting breast augmentation and adding five nipples to either side. Just because you can doesn’t mean you should, right? Right? RIGHT? But I digress (even as I try to visualize that).
Maybe I am totally off-base on the fabric version of a vinyl top with the snaps trying to emulate a convertible, but if not (I’m not, by the way), then why are the A-pillars wrapped in fabric as well? Shouldn’t they be metal along with showing a couple of inches of forehead, I mean roof like in a real convertible? But the most egregious part of the whole deal is just barely visible at the top of this picture. There’s a sunroof. What. The. Fudge. I don’t know, I had to stop wasting pixels on this after the fourth picture, it was just too demoralizing. There are plenty of cars in the junkyard I’d love to bring back to life, but some of them, if they themselves had a choice and a big enough ECU to reason, would realize that they probably should stay where they are. This is one of them. Ultimately I’m afraid we deserve what we get…
The only way this would ever work if it was so bad it couldn’t be anything BUT ironic. The weirdest vinyl top I’ve ever seen was this one:
It really annoys me how they didn’t line up the “grain” of the fake croc skin.
Image
I’ll never understand this! Fake convertible tops, vinyl roofs, add on bling.
However, the worst one I saw was the Corolla St Croix!
Oh what beauty. A one quarter frenched vinyl roof with opera lights, K-mart wire wheel covers and a trunk rack.
This was a car that once caught my dad’s eye ( the one attached was borrowed from the web)
His as a burnt orange over tan with a chocolate vinyl swatch. Toyota had added the vinyl in port so her had rust at 4 months- make that rust through.
Toyota fixed it 4 times before, after only two years, it was traded for a bald Camry!
OK… an aging Toyota wearing an adult diaper… yes, you can’t unsee this…
Chip: See my comment below about a 2004 vintage Corolla that I see now and then on the 405 freeway in Los Angeles area.
The Mercedes 3 series is something mythical. They were beautiful and trustworthy in all their generations.
Oh boy… I can’t unread that 5 nipple comment, whoah.
Some of the ’60s US biggish/formal-ish cars do look good with factory vinyl tops, but anyone spending time in South Florida will attest to how absurd they can look on more modern and inappropriate vehicles. We saw a 2000s Corolla with a padded 1/2 top and gold trim there once… someone’s idea of an econo-pimpmobile? Really? Yeesh.
I’m intrigued by the South of Colfax reference, those not familiar with Denver might not get it.
The W124 was indeed the last hurrah for M-B in some ways. Has Lexus replaced it? Will Genesis make a run at the quality crown? Stay tuned…
Great piece Jim!
Nice late 80s Nova Brougham…surprising that GM didn’t have this turnkey idea.
Great article.
I refuse to believe that there’s anyone anywhere who ever ordered up a car with a fake convertible top and said “Damn, that thing looks just so much better than without the vinyl.”. At least not after the first week or so of owning it.
On the other hand, I do believe that there must be some people who put up with an uglified car by convincing themselves that because it cost more it must be worth more.
Jeff: I’m assuming you are being sarcastic. However, I can tell you from my years of selling at a Buick, Cadillac, GMC and Honda store (from 1988 to 1995 and 2007 to 2011). It was all about profit of course for the dealer and nobody there really liked all that stuff. But they would load the Buick’s and Cadillac’s up and at times they were beyond gaudy. I hated it. But some customers loved it and would buy them or have us send off their new cars to be done up.
Interestingly however, they refused to put anything on the Honda’s other than the stupid door edge trim and luggage racks on the trunk. The door edge trim and (on the Buick models) they would add wheel opening trim. That stuff was garbage and would begin to peel (the chrome) in less than a year. Often the double sided tape holding it no would fail and the trim would begin to fall off. Of course, customers would be upset and blame Buick for that when it wasn’t anything Buick wanted on them. Just terrible stuff.
South of Colfax is where the “ethnics” live? I’m guessing
Some areas around Colfax are a little on the seedier side with lots of entertainment venues such as clubs and music venues, although Colfax is a VERY long street.
https://colfaxave.com/history/
It was more of a throwaway line based on my own remembrances but not meant to invoke a particular part of the population or anything like that. Denver has plenty of areas both good and bad populated by people from all walks of life, giving it a rich diversity, culture, and vibrancy.
Aren’t we all part of an ethnic group or another based on having shared cultures and backgrounds? What’s the alternative to that?
In matters of taste, everyone else is wrong .
Poor little Mercedes, it didn’t deserve this .
-Nate
Shoot; I could have had this in my 300E. Why couldn’t I have nice things?
Hahaha. This is a great article. Jim, I couldn’t agree more on this and find you are spot on. Others on here may know that I’m a Cadillac guy and I also like the more strange models (hence, my Cimarron in my garage as I write this). I have no problem with FACTORY vinyl tops that are matched to the car and in fact, I prefer them over metal tops (cars from the 70’s, 80’s and early 90’s). I don’t even mind the FACTORY option cloth tops with some of the details you mention. As a reference, one of the few factory tops I actually like would be a white Cadillac Seville (86 to 91) with the dark red seats and matching cloth top or the blue matching top with seats. One that still stands out to this day is a triple black 1990 Seville I sold with the factory cloth top. But where it all ends for me is when the dealers starting adding all this garbage onto the factory cars! I worked at a Buick, Cadillac, GMC and Honda store from 1988 till 1995 and again from 2007 to 2011. Yes, they did that (can we say profits) and I hated it. I hated it when the customers wanted to trash their brand new cars with any of it. Same goes for those awful trunk luggage racks (that my Cimarron has and I hate). So your article is spot on.
Funny thing, I still see some of these things on strange cars yet today where I live in southern California. One in particular? Every once in a while as I’m traversing the 405 at blazing speeds of 10 or 20 mph, I cross paths with the same 2004 vintage Toyota Corolla LE trim in darker red with plastic wheel covers, tan cloth interior and a tan sim-con cloth top with the mandatory gold emblem package!!! If I recall, it has a trim piece that says “Presidential Edition” or something to that sort. What an awful looking thing.
“…the padded ones just generally look like a full diaper on a 2-year-old.”
I am SO jealous that I didn’t think of that first.
Indeed, some have more money than taste. The covered A pillars really make this installation stand out.
However, imagine that roof on the 1973 Matador in the post below this one. Would that not be all kinds of awesome? Two wrongs make… err… something interesting!
Wow – what a find! I remember seeing these fake convertible tops on Mercedes in the late 1990s in Philadelphia (a place where fake convertibles in general were very popular). They’d often be added by shady used car dealers when the car was 5-10 years old or so. Haven’t seen anything like that in decades, though.
And I don’t think I’ve ever seen a fake convertible with cloth on the A pillars.
Put the canvas over the rest of the car, ein Fahrentent.
Baureihe 124, Typ CF (Cabriofälschung). The never sougth-after one-off.
I was interested until I saw that there are no wire wheelcovers, so no thanks.
Indeed. It lost me at the absence of landau bars.
Off-the-cuff reaction: Some people just shouldn’t be allowed to have nice things.
I don’t think these fake convertible tops were ever a thing in my country. Admittedly I live out in the sticks, but still I’ve never heard of them here. While occasionally I used to see cars with added dealer dreck, it was usually limited to gold badges or added wheel arch trim or side moldings. Comparatively subtle. Except on PT Cruisers, which seem to have a magnetic attraction for added shiny stuff.
I won’t try to imagine what kind of buyer would think this was a good addition to their new Mercedes. On an American car I can kind of understand this kind of option (a seventies look on a nineties car, older buyers not on board with newer styles, etc.), but on one of these – a big no. Make that NO. And I think any Mercedes dealership that did this should have their franchise yanked. Unworthy to represent the brand.
Zenith car, nadir roof.
Well almost “completely unnecessary on any car”. One really is needed on the four-door Thunderbirds.
My brother has a Cadillac CTS with one of those ridiculous roofs. People always ask him why a convertible would have a sun roof, of course he has to explain it is not a convertible. One day on the hi way the vinyl covering completely peeled off and trailed behind the car. He ripped it off but left the fibreglass skin that was screwed to the roof to give it the “convertible” roof shape. He then painted the fibreglass and it was good as the day it was abortioned on to the car lol.
I’m certainly not going to defend the fake convertible top, but personally I think I find the chrome wheel arch trim worse.
Ha, ha, ha, ha!!!!
Ah, Americans…I’m so glad you guys are in the world…life would be so boring without the good ol’ US of A!
Padded “for his displeasure”…. Jim, you’ll never be truly integrated in American society with that attitude! You have to want that continental kit, get those plastic Halloween decorations, put on that bronzer and watch those Disney remakes. Everything in immoderation.
That fake convertible top looks out of character on a Benz, but vinyl, and those cloth cabriolet tops can look good on some American cars like the Bill Blass Mark V. I was passed on the freeway this morning by a very tidy early 90’s black ElDorado with a half cloth top. It looked very nice to me.
Adding fabric or leather type coverings to solid tops actually goes way back into the ’20’s or earlier, some even sported landau bars.