Happy New Year to all of you! And to kick it off, we had a session with Eugene’s best fortune teller (who drives a 1988 Corolla wagon, naturally) to get a preview of the top automotive stories of 2016.
VW Adopts Hairshirt Fridays
After almost a year, the internal and criminal investigations of who precisely was culpable in VW’s “Dieselgate” cheating scandal were both inconclusive. In a complex negotiated settlement with Germany’s head prosecutor and the EPA, VW agreed that all its employees would be issued hair shirts to wear on Fridays for one year as a symbol of their collective guilt and atonement. No word yet on whether that includes retail sales persons and VW’s Supervisory Board members. The alternative offered was for all employees to wear a sew-on red badge with Betrüger (Swindler) on it, but the hairshirt was voted as the preferred option.
Subaru Sales Decline
After thirty seven continuous years of sales increases, and the fastest growing market share, Subaru sales suddenly stalled in 2016. A Subaru US executive explained it this way “we have effectively reached 100% market share of passenger cars in the Snow Belt, thus there is no further growth potential for us until we can convince Sun Belt car buyers of the benefits of AWD. We are working very hard on that. In the meantime, some of our traditional buyers in so-called “Granola markets” are turning to other brands as a form of protest due to over-saturation. We are considering launching a new brand for them“.
The Last Sedan Rolls Of The Assembly Lines
CUV sales continued to explode as 2016 got underway, and all the automakers shut down their sedan lines in order to switch production over to the hot-selling cross-overs. The last sedan still being sold was the 2016 Toyota Camry, but by the time Toyota pulled the plug, it was taking $12,000 in incentives to sell them. By November, the last Camry rolled off the lines in Georgetown, Kentucky.
2017 Ford F-150 MPG First Pickup To Exceed 30 MPG
Determined to show that it’s possible, Ford introduced the 2017 F-150 MPG, the first truck to exceed 30 mpg in EPA tests. It’s powered by a new version of Ford’s 1.0 L “Fox” EcoBoost three cylinder engine, as also used in the Fiesta. For use in the F-150 MPG, three turbochargers, one for each cylinder, allow boost has been increased, resulting in 160 hp and 165 lb.ft. of torque. When asked about performance with the 1.0L triple, a Ford spokesperson said it was “better than some of our V8 powered trucks in the past”. We can safely assume that refers to the early 1980s.
GM And Uber Merge; New Company Is Called General Mobility
Not to be left out in the autonomous future and rush towards the new mobility economy, Uber and GM merged, forming a new company called General Mobility. Given that both companies have a market cap/valuation of some $50 billion, one might have assumed that it would be a “merger of equals”. But given Uber’s momentum, lofty valuation, accumulated experience in the mobility sector and aggressive investment in robotics, Uber stock holders ended up with 755 of the new company’s shares. As a concession to GM’s legacy value, the new company was not named “Uber Motors”.
In a statement, soon-to-be-retired GM CEO Mary Barra said that the slow-moving General Motors would now take off at Internet speed, accelerated by Uber: “All you need to do is put a catalyst to GM, and in a short period, you can alter the growth rate. The growth rate will be like an Internet Mobility company.”
When told that those words sounded almost exactly like those spoken by former AOLTime Warner execs after their (ill-fated) merger, Barra said “I don’t remember that”.
1500 hp 2017 Dodge Challenger Helldragon
“There’s no such thing as too much horsepower“, Dodge’s General Manager (Chrysler no longer identifies its division GM’s by name, as they invariably don’t stay longer than three months) said in announcing the new 1500 hp Helldragon. We’re working closely with the best engine builders in top-fuel drag racing, and they’ve assured me that we still have a long way to go before we reach the limit of what’s possible.
Honda Abandons Asia And Europe, Incorporates In Delaware And Moves Headquarters To US: “We’re 100% American Now!”
Honda’s CEO, Takahiro Hachigo, announced that Honda was abandoning Asia and Europe, and moving to the US to concentrate on the North American market. “We’ve essentially been making all of our profit in the US for several decades now, and our losses in Europe and Asia have been growing. And our line up of vehicles are already all designed for the US market. We love America! The quality of life is so much better here, and our Japanese employees at our American facilities increasingly refused to come back home. So we decided to just make the jump and become all American” Hachigo explained.
Sergio Marchionne Starts Wearing A Suit And Tie And Quits Smoking
Word finally got back to Sergio that the reason his repeated overtures to GM for a merger were rebuffed was because GM CEO Mary Barra was turned off by his rumpled sweater smoky smell. “It looks like he sleeps in that uniform…and he reeks; who would want to merge with him?”
Porsche Announces New Golf-Class Hatchback “Canman”
With VW brand sales falling, Porsche is taking up the slack with a Golf-based hatchback to expand its product line. Ferdinand Porsche was a big fan of small cars, so it’s perfectly logical that one would finally be made bearing his name. Pricing starts at $40,000, but a well-optioned Canman can easily top $75,000.
Elon Musk Announces That Tesla Will Go Bankrupt; Tesla Stock Soars 28%
Elon Musk announced that Tesla would go bankrupt before the end of the year. TSLA stock soared 28% by day’s end, and was still climbing in after-hours trading. One analyst said: “Investors have become so used to Tesla not meeting its projections, that this latest announcement is being shrugged off.” One Tesla investor said: “this is wonderful news…Tesla is throwing off the shackles of the capitalist system so that it can finally soar.”
So what does your crystal ball foretell?
LOL. Not sure which I enjoyed most, Tesla stock rising after bankruptcy or the F-150 with triple turbochargers. Thanks for the chuckle.
I had a ’90 Ranger with the 2.3 four and that performed much like I imagine that 1.0 F-150 would.
My fave is the Honda one, Missing from the Asian car front though, is where Lexus comes out with a new Hybrid….named Electra!
Dodge Hell Dragon, when too much isn’t enough. I can just see that, my nephew would love one!
I’m sure a lot of funeral homes would like the Helldragon. Can only be good for business 🙂
Martin Shkreli takes a short position on Tesla stock. Suffers a financial bath on rise of said stock. Sits at home sulking to Wu Tang without Taylor Swift. Invites Drake over for a listen. Drake ‘loses’ cellphone containing Martin’s address. Martin pretends he doesn’t care.
Hairshirt Friday. hehehe
I heard that Chrysler is bringing in the late “Big Daddy” Ed Roth as a consultant on the Helldragon project. Since Mr. Roth passed away several years ago, he’ll be communicating with the Helldragon design team via broadband OUIJA board connection.
What does Ed Roth know about building horsepower? His custom cars were beautiful but some were barely drivable. Did you mean the other “Big Daddy”, Don Garlits? He’s still alive, by the way.
I was thinking of a sort of Ratfink Special Edition.
Previous generations of Golf diesels will be retrofitted with a device called the Wolfsburger Nachbrenner (not to be confused with the highly-spiced sausage from the same region) , since the problem at hand can’t be solved by (re)writing software.
Happy New Year !
Here’s a demonstration. Mind you, it’s still a prototype.
Here’s to a Happy New Year to you and all the writers and commenters at CC. I sure look forward to reading this blog every day.
Number 11: Hyundai, fresh from the smashing success of the ultra-luxurious Equus will fill out its line with a pickup truck which it will call Agricola and a high-end large SUV called Bovus. Both vehicles will be introduced with the new corporate slogan “Est id quod est” and a new warranty program which will cover the vehicles from bumper to bumper for the life of the VP of Marketing.
Hyundai sales in the United States increase 58% in 2016 however the North American Hyundai president is fired for poor performance and not meeting sales targets because the executives in Korea were really looking for an even 60%.
*snicker*
Next time Mario is in Europe selling Jeeps, send him to Savile Row in London for a nice suit!!
Hopefully, he will get the idea that he needs to pump a few more dollars into the Dodge and Chrysler divisions.
All Uber cars will have their horns and gas tanks removed and engines are to be replaced by hot air turbines and will be driven only by Donald Trump clones.
Paul Niedermeyer gets the P. J. O’Rourke Wiseass in Print award….
Happy 2016 all!
I dunno, jpcavanaugh’s comment above may have trumped him.
I realize the post was done in jest, but it does address some substantive issues.
The way the CAFE standard was rewritten a few years ago, the death of the sedan is pretty much guaranteed.
CUVs, are classified as trucks. The new CAFE standard assigns a lower MPG target to trucks, than to cars with the same footprint.
CUVs tend to have minimal rear overhang. As the new CAFE standard assigns MPG targets according to footprint, as CUVs do not have rear overhang from a trunk, they have a larger footprint for the same overall vehicle length, so will have a lower MPG target than a sedan pf equal overall size.
So when the industry designs to achieve the lowest. easiest to meet, MPG target, you get a CUV.
And since the CAFE standard was specifically written to make the MPG target harder to meet for a small vehicle and relatively easier to meet for a large vehicle, the CUV designed to the CAFE standard will be a big one.
The definition of CUV is really vague after the years. The newer Taurus with that beltline is almost a CUV.
I’ve read that Subaru sells everything it builds, so short of a production expansion, there isn’t much point in expanding sales.
Living in the desert southwest, I would really like a FWD Impreza hatch, priced at $500-1000 less than the AWD version, but Subaru clearly doesn’t need me as a customer.
I would really like a FWD Impreza hatch, priced at $500-1000 less than the AWD version, but Subaru clearly doesn’t need me as a customer.
Like some other small manufacturers, Subaru found an underserved market and fills it. If one of the larger Japanese. Korean or US manufacturers really went after the market for 4×4 passenger cars, Subaru would be dead in the US as they would no longer be differentiated.
I would have bought that during the era when Subaru only sold AWD cars. Now that the BRZ exists, Subaru can no longer market itself as “All AWD, all the time”.
Subaru has chosen to give up market share in places where AWD is a costly, unnecessary complexity. Outside of the WRX and BRZ, I rarely see any Subarus in Las Vegas. That’s a choice they make, but if they want to sell more cars, they may have to re-think that choice.
Subaru has chosen to give up market share in places where AWD is a costly, unnecessary complexity.
Without AWD, why would anyone pic a Subie over a Honda or Toyota?
My Aunt had an 87 Loyale, which I found to be quite noisy. The 98 Civic that replaced it was much more civilized.
Only a few years ago, Subie was still using a 4 speed automatic, when almost everyone else had a 5 or 6 speed automatic.
If, for instance, Chrysler revived the old AMC Eagle brand for a line of passenger cars, using Jeep AWD powertrains, Subaru would be in the kimchee.
Another approaching problem for Subaru is the revised CAFE standard. See my analysis posted elsewhere in this thread. If, as I expect, the standard makes it very much harder to build small passenger cars that meet the fuel efficiency standard, and relatively easier for CUVs to meet the standards, Subaru will be forced to drop the Impreza and Legacy, while competing with the CUVs with optional AWD that are offered by everyone.
Subaru has always had a few FWD and RWD only vehicles on the market vans and kei cars were a lot of them.
The Indiana plant is being expanded with the intent of moving North American market Impreza and Crosstrek production from Japan. That in turn frees up capacity in Japan to build Foresters.
SIA’s capacity to build Subarus will further expand when contract Camry production ends after the current model year.
The Indiana plant is being expanded with the intent of moving North American market Impreza and Crosstrek production from Japan. That in turn frees up capacity in Japan to build Foresters.
Odd they would spend to expand the existing plant. The Mutsu plant in Normal Illinois is for sale. Assembly ended last November. There are still a few at the plant making replacement parts, but that will end in May. The plant has a capacity of 240,000, equipped and ready to go. It was organized by the UAW, so maybe Sube wants to avoid the union.
This has been in the works for at least a couple of years, starting with the announcement in 2013 that the Camry line would be going away. Fuji acquired enough land when SIA was built in the late ’80s to expand in any direction and potentially more than double in size.
Not to mention that FHI’s model has always been to keep its production facilities close together to minimize costs. All of the Subaru assembly and powertrain plants and many of FHI’s aerospace activities are within a few kilometers of each other in Gunma prefecture.
My job periodically takes me to the Bloomington-Normal area. Losing MMNA is going to be a major blow. State Farm HQ and ISU are pretty much all they have left.
Honda moving to the US.
The company has apparently abandoned the Accord in Europe. The US will reportedly receive a Civic hatchback for the first time in years, produced in England, because the English plant is running far below capacity.
The company has apparently abandoned the Civic in Japan, and the only Accords built are hybrids.
With their two marquee models only offered together in North America, they may as well move their official HQ here. The building pictured in Paul’s post in their former HQ in Torrance, CA. In 2013, Honda announced they are moving their HQ to their main production complex in Marysville, OH.
http://www.usatoday.com/story/money/cars/driveon/2013/02/23/california-honda-ohio/1941229/
“Honda moving to the US.”
Like all good satire, Paul’s article contains a grain of truth. The domestic market in Japan has been tough sledding for all manufacturers in recent years, and Japanese brands struggle to gain traction in the European market. But Honda remains a Japanese company, with no intentions to relocate to the US.
While the AHM President’s office is no longer in Torrance, the building pictured is fully occupied, and continues to manage Honda’s US sales operations. I work on this campus, along with another 4,500 or so Honda employees, so rest assured the building is not a “former” Honda facility.
When is comes to Japanese Home Market sales, the Accord and Civic have not had a significant piece of the action in over 25 years. In Japan, the Fit and N-One are Honda’s “Marquee Models,” and both have a significant share of the market, establishing Honda’s bona fides there.
When is comes to Japanese Home Market sales, the Accord and Civic have not had a significant piece of the action in over 25 years. In Japan, the Fit and N-One are Honda’s “Marquee Models,” and both have a significant share of the market, establishing Honda’s bona fides there.
Looking at Honda sales YTD:
Japan: 660,000
North America (Canada, US, Mexico) 1.7M
US alone 1.1M
Asia including China: 1.5M
China lone 855,000
Europe: 111,000
http://world.honda.com/investors/financial_data/monthly/
So the HQ in Japan is rather like the tail wagging the dog, as the US is their largest market.
Without actually having the statistics available, I would guess that Honda, Toyota and Nissan have all sold more cars in the U.S. than in Japan for a very long time now – like over 20 years. Subaru and Mazda are probably getting there too, and I’m sure at one point Mitsubishi sold more cars here than they did in Japan (though that’s certainly not the case now). Japan’s new car market is only a third the size of the U.S.’
http://www.best-selling-cars.com/japan/2014-full-year-japan-best-selling-car-brands-manufacturers/
I’m more surprised that Honda now sells more cars in Canada per year than they do in ALL of Europe and that they have such a large presence in China. Never would have guessed!
I’m more surprised that Honda now sells more cars in Canada per year than they do in ALL of Europe and that they have such a large presence in China. Never would have guessed!
EU market share chart by group for 2014 in this article. Sticks in my mind that, when Renault took over AMC, they were bragging about being Europe’s largest automaker. Now Renault is in third place behind VAG and PSA. Meanwhile, VAG has gone from nearly bankrupt and considering abandoning the US in the early 90s, to #1 in Europe by such a wide margin.
On this chart, Toyota is the only Asian maker to even rate being listed separately. Interesting how the Asians have failed to gain traction in Europe, while eating the big three’s lunch here.
http://www.ibtimes.com/european-auto-sales-rise-fifth-consecutive-month-ireland-saw-biggest-jump-january-32-1556324
Found a chart that gives Honda’s market share in Europe in 2014: 1%. Interesting that the numbers do not line up with the numbers in the other chart, but the relative positions of the manufacturers are close.
The truth is that Honda has become a niche-brand; something rare, or special.
And look at Toyota’s position, they have known much better days too. I’m referring to the heyday of the Starlet, Corolla, Carina E and also of the first gen Yaris.
I’m more surprised that Honda now sells more cars in Canada per year than they do in ALL of Europe and that they have such a large presence in China. Never would have guessed!
Keep in mind, the Civic has been the best selling car in Canada for 18 straight years. Just saying…
VW….what can we say? They seemed to be getting their arms around their long standing reliability problems that dogged them from the 70s into the early 2000s. At least a few honchos have been shown the door, vs US outfits like JPM, which is repeatedly caught manipulating markets and cheating regulations, but Jamie Dimon blames “rogue underlings” and sails along collecting his millions in compensation.
By appearances, VW has become as ossified as GM. Not just the emissions thing, but all the halo and redundant brands that Piech accumulated, and the autocratic corporate culture. With any luck the scandal will be the catalyst for a major reform of the company.
The story that the crystal ball missed: Buick moving it’s HQ to China. Buick sells nearly a million vehicles in China vs about 200,000 here. More of the styling is now being done in China. The current LaCrosse was designed by Min Cao, Nenghua Liu and Ven Lai. GM’s Chinese partner, SAIC, sells a LaCrosse based sedan as the Roewe 950
Roewe 950 doesn’t share the sheetmetal with Buick LaCrosse, but they are indeed very similar. It’s not common for two cars that similar not sharing any particular body panel. LaCrosse still far outsells 950 in China though.
Another thing true about Detroit design philosophy is the car is easier to look good when longer wider and lower. Current LaCrosse is one of the cars going against it and it’s too bloated, and the next generation is longer, wider and lower.
and the next generation is longer, wider and lower.
And the wings in the grill of the 2017 scream Opel
Subaru has only started to get deep roots in the rust belt. In 2013, seeing a Subaru in Michigan was a novelty. Now, they’re everywhere, including my driveway.
Honda lowers both the price and ride height of the HR-V and raises those of the Fit after someone realizes they accidentally switched the “small hatchback car” and “small CUV” styling proposals in the design phase.
“Pricing starts at $40,000, but a well-optioned Canman can easily top $75,000.”
COTD!
After reading this, I really want to see Paul write the Un-cyclopedia article on Volkswagen. I love good satire like this.
One day during the group project on a presentation for a freshman lesson, an article from uncyclopedia was seriously referred as if it is real. Everyone was serious until seeing uncyclopedia citation on the page.
A F150 3 banger is as about as realistic as a VW TDI that does 70MPG !.
Lang beat you to it: http://oppositelock.kinja.com/honda-donates-all-leftover-honda-insights-to-the-irs-1676717921
#12
FiatChrysler will announce a special promotion for the month of January. Every new Fiat 500 will come with a free Toyota Yaris, useful for those times when the Fiat is being serviced.
The death of NASCAR. The cars are not stock, the racing so restricted it’s boring, (nobody even breaks their neck anymore!) and the drivers were in the Boy Scouts and go-kart camp last week, while living at their parents house, with mom cooking and doing laundry for them. There is a reason they are removing seats at major venues.
GM announces that they’re dropping the pretense and all trucks will come off the line as Chevrolets. Dealers who wish to sell GMC trucks will be shipped crates of GMC badges.
Despite the fact that the badge is switched literally as they watch, buyers still are willing to pay more for a GMC as the “built heavier” myth persists.