I’ll get to the “QOTD” part of this post momentarily. Some people just seem naturally self-confident in any and all situations. I am not innately one of those embarrassment-resistant people. I’m not ashamed to admit that self-confidence was a somewhat slow-building phenomenon for me, and I stand before you today as proof that even dorks can learn to overcome moderate social anxiety and project confidence, even if it means faking it from time to time.
But still. If you were behind the wheel of this first-year Chevy Citation (identifiable by its amber rear turn signals), would you be rocking this orange and gold masterpiece with confidence, with an extended left-arm driving position and the windows down for all to see? Or would you be more likely to hide behind dark-tinted sunglasses and homemade limo tint, hoping with every block you pass that the farting exhaust note and buzzing Iron Duke four-cylinder don’t call attention to you as you roll down a major thoroughfare? (Or would you take as many side streets and back alleys as possible?)
I’ve got to hand it to this guy. Sure, he looked a little uncomfortable as he noticed me taking pictures, and he was leaning in a little bit toward the center console. Maybe the windows were down simply because the air conditioning is busted and he needed some fresh air. However, my thought is that he must be super self-confident, simply because little would have stopped him from flipping me the bird (or worse) when he saw me taking pictures as this Citation came rolling, looking like a slightly-rotten citrus fruit, down Jackson Blvd. toward State St.
I’m baffled by the color scheme of this car, which most certainly looks like a factory option. Orange and gold. Somebody in management approved this. There are some flavors that just never taste good together. Think Goldschläger and orange juice. I’m sure there have probably been worse two-tone color combos that rolled off an assembly line, but right now, I am at a complete loss to think of any, even back to cars of the 1950’s. Let’s just say this one is not my favorite.
My Uncle Bob had a first-year Citation, purchased new to replace a ’73 Ford Pinto. He really liked his Citation, and he maintains to this day that it was, overall, a good car. That light blue Citation might as well have been a Camaro, the way Uncle Bob kept it in such clean condition inside and out – even after giant rust spots the size of McIntosh apples perforated the sheetmetal after only a few years.
My uncle’s Citation probably also didn’t see as much real-life wear-and-tear as other examples, being driven around rural Henry County in northwest Ohio – hardly a place of stop-and-go traffic. Still, Uncle Bob probably drove his Citation a little more carefully than most. Being a Lutheran pastor, volunteer firefighter, and family man, Uncle Bob seemed to have a proclivity toward responsible choices and safety, the Pinto notwithstanding. But I digress.
My apologies for the subpar picture quality. I suppose I was just so nonplussed by the sight of a running Citation on my daily walk from the Red Line to work that I wasn’t able to uphold my usual photographic standards. But I still felt this ‘Tation was too tasty not to share. And I want to make it clear that I am in no way dissing this car’s driver or his personal taste. Everybody’s got to get to work somehow, and I don’t even have a car. So there’s that.
Which (finally) brings me to my two-fold QOTD, directed at “normal” people like me who do get embarrassed: What is the most embarrassing car you’ve ever had to pilot, by choice or out of necessity, and under what circumstances? Go!
Photos as taken by the author, downtown, The Loop, Chicago, Illinois.
Monday, October 13, 2014.
As bad as the X-cars were, there were many people that had them and liked them. I knew a few personally. On the contrary I also knew a few that hated their cars, too. I’m sure a lot of them were “used up” quickly and beat up, especially the rental cars. But for how many were sold, there were certainly some satisfied customers. We are talking about the early 80’s and cars didn’t have nearly the 200k mile life expectancy that they do today.
My friend was supposed to have use of his older brother’s 1975 Camaro for us and our dates to go to our prom in 1981, but either the car broke down or his brother needed to go out of town with it (too long ago…), so we ended up using my mother’s ’75 Hornet in that weird pale pea green (“ivory green” in the catalog).
This probably sounds crazy, but in the 1980s, when I was a teenager, I don’t think I’d ever ridden in an American car. A Capri once but that was German. For real. I grew up poor in an affluent but bohemian, San Francisco suburb. My parents were genuinely snobby about American cars as were their friends. Yet, I had nothing to judge them on. Then I took one of our two cars in- it was either the ’67 Volvo 122 or the ’70 Datsun 510. Neither new. Both all we could afford yet we lived a little ‘fancier’ than some. Anyway, the kind tire shop loaned me a vastly newer Citation while the tires were being mounted. It was probably only 4-5 years old at the time. I drove it all of 3 miles and was astounded that it was even considered road worthy- much less built by the largest automaker in the world. It was gallingly bad. And this was compared to our cars, which were between 12 and 15 years OLDER than the Citation. Then I ‘got’ why my parents and their friends were so judge-y about American cars. It still flabbergasts me that GM got to sell so many X-bodies. At a time when you could buy an Accord for generally similar cash, I sure didn’t get it. Now two of our three cars are American built (Toyotas but still) and they’re flawless. Things have come a long way.