There are very few things that really annoy me in life. Politicians kissing old ladies, people with a no-fault attitude, and the existence of the Hyundai EON are a constant source of niggling. But one of the worst things, in your author’s opinion, are demolition derbies.
It has always been a fault of mine to give certain animistic qualities to things I possess. Every cell phone that I’ve owned is essentially a circuit board with a battery and a screen attached to it, yet I still felt like I was losing a companion when I replaced some of them. Cars are especially likeable, I’m sure most all of us agree. As they age and take you on many adventures, you get to know their quirks as they develop and they develop a sort of “character”. Other people simply go, “Eep! A quirk!” and proceed to replace them with the next beigemobile that comes off the line and perhaps always associate a healthy dose of negative equity with their old car. Cars that are already at the bottom of the pecking order get crashed or scrapped if they are lucky.
If they are not scrapped, they enter the world of demolition derbies. Here, insult is added to injury and participants make sure that the poor car’s last run is filled with pain and suffering as a crowd gathers to see the refrigerators-to-be get smashed, crashed and bashed until they have no useable components or body panels in them. Yeah, see that Tempest front wing that could mean the difference between a restoration and a GTO clone? Shame, because some 22 year old in a ’97 Civic has crashed into it and rendered it useless.
Some people would see them as cars given one last blaze of glory before they are broken down and resurrected as consumer goods and perhaps even other cars. Most wouldn’t think that fair and just enjoy the senseless and, in the grand scheme of things, harmless fun. I just see histories crashing into each other. Every car has a story, has it not? Would you cringe if you saw a car that you used to own being crushed for fun and profit? 73ImpCapn doesn’t have anything to fear. Partly because I’m sure his amazing 1973 Imperial LeBaron will be taken to a demolition derby over his dead body, but mostly because Imperials are banned from demolition derbies for being just so damn strong and well-built. Lord knows how many they went through before reaching that conclusion!
But what about you? Am I being just a Big Girl’s Blouse and reading far too much into cars that have to be incapable of being registered to end up there? Or is it really a cringeworthy thing to watch?
Hate Demo Derbies, case closed.
Demo derbies make me sad, but not really mad unless a reasonably fixable model is wasted with no good reason.
Cash for clunkers, on the other hand, enrages me. Even if I agreed with an officeholder on just about everything else, support for C4C would, alone, be enough to deny him/her my vote. Even the name angers me. “Clunker” is supposed to mean a total POS, or a really dumb idea when used in the non-vehicular sense. But you could have C4C’d a mint Cadillac Brougham as a “clunker”. I remember seeing a Country Squire wagon that looked to be in excellent exterior shape prominently displayed as a C4C representative at a dealership. I was apoplectic, to the point of having to pull over and cool off.
Got to admit, while I hate seeing some of the potential fixer uppers be destroyed, it is a mixed blessing. For one thing, most derbiers are o.k. with selling the unused parts (interior and exterior trim, glass, bumpers not of the 5-mph variety, etc) for a reasonable price, and if you happen find one who prefers demoing the cars you collect, this can be a treasure trove of usable parts for a restoration project. That is how I originally began buying, repairing and selling clamshell station wagons back in the day. I had always wanted one since I was maybe ten years old, and around the time I started to drive, there just so happened to be a network of people in my town who had them for the derby, and rather than throw all the parts in the dumpster, I was able to get whole interiors, spare tail lamps, grilles, mirrors, even upgrade interiors with optional items. And then, there is a certain rush to watching a derby- and seeing a car like the one you have (or aspire to own) win the show. Akin to muscle car enthusiasts watching a Monte Carlo, Charger or what have you in the stock car races.
Something just occurred to me. If so many “desirable” classics had not been destroyed in derbys, the remaining ones would not have the value they do now.
If I could have derbied my 74 Impala instead of selling it for 50 bucks I would have. My co worker who bought it swore he aimed to restore it. Totalled it driving drunk off road instead, then buried it in a field. I am certain he did not drain the fluids first. I still get super pissed thinking about this.
It was my first car. I would have really enjoyed mashing some lesser beasts with my Impaler.
From my perspective, the front end was shot, needed new tires, got terrible mileage and the interior was beyond saving.
It would have been perfect for demo, or ice racing, which they stopped doing in the Yukon just before I got rid of it.
I agree. This is a disgusting form of ‘entertainment’ and such a waste of cars that could supply spares to keep others running.
When I sold my 1964 Humber Sceptre Mk I to a couple of guys back in 1981, they surprised me by asking me to drive them around for a few miles and then sat in the back and cooed like a couple of contented lovers. They paid me my asking price and only then took the keys and drove away in it.
Years later I read an article on banger racers and realised my car had been purchased by such low lifes and had probably been trashed the following weekend.
Personally I would love to see an all Toyota Prius/Nissan Versa demolition derby… That would be most acceptable.
I totally appreciate where many of you are coming from, but I definitely lean toward the ‘blaze of glory’ ending. There just aren’t enough people interested for everything to be held on to. Many people bemoan the loss of these great cars, but few of those very same people have the space/money/passion to snatch up the everyman’s full-size sedan /wagon. You can’t save them all. Most of these cars are unwanted or only wanted by people who don’t have the means to actually save them. Way more cars to be saved then people to save them, so they’re either derbied or unceremoniously crushed. Same loss. I just became a major part of this argument with my purchase of a 1971 Pontiac Safari. One owner, 50,000 miles. I paid more than I wanted to and I had to sell another old car (69 T-bird) to ‘save it’. I’m glad that it won’t be derbied, but I love the legendary status of these as derby cars and how it has become so much a part of their history. If you’re interesting in saving everyday cars, start stockpiling those Cavaliers/Sunfires while you have a chance. Nothing lasts forever, but there’ll always be just enough old cars around to keep them special.