I remember when some brochures used to have a page at the back dedicated to dealer-fitted accessories. There would be mud flaps, custom floor mats and numerous other fairly useless things including these: guards to protect against stone chips.
Now, maybe I haven’t been looking closely enough, but I haven’t noticed many cars with noticeable dents and chips on their front end because the owner didn’t pay a little extra to get one of these babies fitted. What I have noticed, though, are numerous cars with these guards fitted and absolutely clogged with detritus and debris. It frustrates me to look at, because most owners don’t seem to clean them out. Is it even easy to remove the guard? These items just strike me as useless and ugly. So, tell me, what is your least favorite automotive accessory?
Improperly (and illegally) installed HID headlamps. Kill every eBay “drop-in” kit with fire.
“Altezza” taillights. There’s no quicker way to make your car look douchey and dated at once.
Edit: on second thought, “smoked” taillights are worse: not only are they hideous, but they are also a safety hazard.
YES, thank you! I can’t top those, but I’ll add car bras and locking gas caps. A fuel door with a release in the cab is infinitely better and less of a hassle.
Usually an affordable car in from energy crisis era would have a locking gas cap. And owners liked to buy another cap without lock in the ’80s afterwards.
Locking gas caps got a revival when carmakers began to drop inside fuel door releases as part of the de-contenting of their cars, under pressure to keep prices down.
Now some of Ford’s cars have gone capless. I had that in my 2012 Fiesta and half the time the stupid thing ether caused the gas pump to think the car was full and stopped the pump or made it take forever to pump the gas(I had this happen at pumps at different gas stations) . Ford never could fix it properly on my car and I finally fixed fully by trading it in.
Same with our 2010 Fusion. I haven’t had normally filling issues but adding sea foam or anything else to the tank is a nightmare. When my grandma in law ran out of gas with it, I kept getting the funnel jammed and eventually had to cut every shed of texture off of it. It still jammed badly. Always carry a knife, kids. Give me a normal style fuel arrangement, please.
Altezzas were such a ricer flag, it always baffled me when I’d see trucks and Mustang/Camaros with them at the height of the fad. They all looked terrible, including the Altezza (Lexus IS) that started it.
Drop in HIDs suck too but I can’t say I’m much fonder of modern traffic with factory installed projector HIDs either, both are blinding and ugly.
Tinted tails, eh. IMO, the biggest problem with them is with the niteshade DIY crowd who put on a bazillion coats until they’re opaque black. They can be tinted to look dark and remain translucent red if done right, retaining adequate light output, and with higher wattage bulbs the diminished transparency can generally be accounted for.
My previous roommate had a set of lights on the tail of his Silverado. After selling the truck for 2yrs, I can recognize it from the street because it really stands out!
I hate Altezza taillights because they are ugly. Let’s ignore whatever shape the actual body opening for the taillight is and put a round taillight there instead.
I also dislike most of those covers that go over top of the factory taillight lens, especially popular for pickup trucks. For example, the Dodge one that gives the taillight a Ram’s head shape and the Chevy one that gives it a Bowtie shape.
Back in the day the GOOD toy cars had red taillights and the cheap ones had clear. So these awful clear taillights scream “cheap” to me. How anyone thinks they are an improvement over stock is beyond me.
‘Altezza” taillights’
These ! .
They’re almost always very dim and haze over in a year or less making them dangerous .
-Nate
They do suit some cars. My son’s ’01 Mitsubishi Lancer had them fitted when he bought it used, and it’s hard to imagine his car without them. Some cars do look awful with them – AU Falcons, for example.
Is it just my imagination, or is it a fad whose time has passed nowadays?
I can’t stand those stupid eyelashes that people put over their headlights.
Or the reindeer antlers that clip onto your side windows, which they sell around Christmas.
How about the idiot sports fans that have clip-on team flags? I always think, “Oh really? I didn’t know you are a >insert team name here<."
I hate them too, but they make the original Renault Twingo look even happier than before!
Moustaches too!
I have the bug deflector on my hood and the other day while driving up I-95 in FL, a truck kicked up a big rock and it hit my bug deflector and destroyed it, however, my fender was un-blemished. They do actually work and I clean mine. Now I just have to figure out where to get another for my fender. I drive a Dakota and there are 3 pieces to the deflector.
Same thing happened with the deflector on the front of my former van. The big rock hit the deflector and smashed it, but it did its job!
1.A/C mounted air “fresheners” – All they do is make your car smell like a cheap hotel.
2.Vent Shades – I know one owner who won’t drive a car without them- They look cheesy, increase wind noise on the highway, and break off in the car wash.
3.Ultra Dark Window Tint On Every Piece of Glass – Great when you’re driving in full sun but pretty freakin’ dangerous at night on country roads. Cops love this option.
4.Front End Bras- Nice when grit gets underneath and rubs your paint off.
5.Bumper Mats -Please learn how to park by eye and not feel. Nice watching them flap around on the highway at 75 mph. Also, what are you loading and unloading from your trunk that you can’t lift over?
6. Clip-On Airfoils for your wiper arms – I had a pair 30 years ago.They were supposed to press the blades to the windshield as you drove. Arms already have heavy spring built -in just for this purpose. Duh.
7. Speed Knobs – These steering wheel mounted gizmos are good for forklifts, not cars. Chews up the wheel where it’s mounted and whacks your hand on the return spin.
8. Brake Pedal/Steering Wheel J Bar Anti Theft Device – Ties the brake and steering wheel together with a locking sliding ratchet rod. Has no interlock to the ignition or gear shift, only a visual clue. Step on the brake, break your steering wheel and not be able to stop. Sweet.
I agree with you on all but the dark windows. I am from FL and they are a necessity down there. The truck I now drive is the first one I have had with them. The only time the seem to be dangereous is when going around sharp turns aI night, the cure, lean forward and look out the windshield. The nice thing is that at the end of the day while driving the whole time, your eyes are not worn out.
Oh, please…light window tints are one thing, but ultra-dark window tints are NOT a necessity. They’re at best a nuisance; at worst, a hazard.
Wear a good pair of sunglasses, and make sure your air conditioning is properly serviced.
I have family in southern New Mexico. Just about every single car on the road has darkly tinted windows with some even having a very light tint on the windshield. I have been told that its like this in Arizona as well. I have medium dark tint on my back window and I guess a medium light on the door windows and I live out here in California. If you have anything other than a white car and you do not have tinted windows yur gonna have a bad time out here.
As I said, light tints are one thing; the limo tints are rarely done for any reason other than image.
As a driver in Texas, Arizona and the California desert, I can say that rolling down the windows and running the A/C on MAX for a moment (to expel the hot air) will make a car cooler than any tint.
The government of Australia published data a while back that showed little or no improvement when windows are darkly tinted. However, in all fairness I’ve yet to see that test repeated.
Window tint DOES help when the sun is intense. Here in Oregon, temps can easily rise north of 100 degrees in the height of summer. My truck is black, no tint….you could bake clay pots inside my rig on a hot day. Parking in a shady area helps, but tints would do more. Besides…whats wrong with looking better too?
Car break-ins are a problem in Portland so having window tint makes it harder to see into your vehicle.
Tell me that when you live in Florida and drive a navy car with an all black leather interior. Ever had a lighter or a pop can explode from the heat? Ugh. A mess. I have ultra dark on the back 5 and legal on the front 2. They’re definitely necessary down here.
If by “Vent Shades” you mean the plastic deflectors that you can mount along the top edges of your doors, I used to agree with you. Yes they do look tacky, but my new (used) truck came with a set already installed and I’ve found them quite useful.
Cars used to be made with little gutters above the door openings so you could leave the windows open a crack even when it was raining and the rain wouldn’t get in. These things work the same way.
Our last truck we bought has them, too. They’re really nice in the rain for the reason above. They also help when the sun is just a little lower than the roofline on the car.
Worse than the clip-on wiper airfoils IMO are the double wiper blades, especially in neon colours.
I used to have a Mazda 323 hatchback. When the wipers were worn and torn i replaced the blades with Anco’s aftermarket units. Guess what: the Anco’s lifted off the windshields at speeds above 60 or so. I bought clip-on airfoils and that cured the problem.
And created a new one: the re-directed air hit the windshield in my line of view and cooled the glass. In humid conditions that spot fogged up. I wished I did not discard the old blades so fast.
Happened to me too. Nothing so humbling as finding out that the factory made it that way for a reason!
I agree with most of the entries above, especially #1, but..
2 The good ones that go into the window tracks are great, you and I might not like the looks so much, but the good ones do what they are supposed to, and are pretty much bulletproof. I had a set on my Ram, and being able to crack the window open during a light rain was really nice. The taped on ones are garbage. At least half the ones I see around here are put on crooked.
in southern AZ I’ve learned to drive white cars, and tint the rear side and back windows. makes them cool down a lot quicker.
Vinyl or padded tops for cars that clearly were not designed for them. I don’t mind Vinyl tops or padded roofs, but they had a time and a place, and that was before 1991.
When it’s like this. That’s an issue.
You mean 1981. It’s just some guys in Detroit didn’t get the memo.
In my neighbor, there are Dodge Neon, Dodge Stratus, Chrysler Sebring coupe, newer Buick LaCrosse, Chrysler 300C, Cadillac XTS, Lincoln MKS, Jaguar S-Type, Lexus LS, Infiniti Q series coming with vinyl roof. After seeing them for a while, it’s alright really.
Dodge Challenger looks pretty good with vinyl roof though.
That looks awesome!
I’ve been banging on this drum forever, tight vinyl tops look GOOD. Puffy fabric tops look BAD.
Hey, somebody made a Challenger White Hat Special!
I like the old pre-Brougham, non-padded vinyl tops for the most part too.
Me too. My red ’66 Mustang has a black vinyl top and I think it really improves the look. Besides, I have always been partial to a red/black combo on a car.
NNNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!
It’s a good few years since I saw a vinyl roof, but when car-hunting for bangers in the late 80s and early 90s I always fought shy of them, ever since a colleague of my dad’s bought an Avenger estate with one. Turned out it had been rolled at some time and under it, the roof was like a putting green.
I like that Challenger!
I hate lots of aftermarket stuff especially those chrome door edge guards that cut up the lines of a car vertically.
Fake vents
Flower vases
Continental kits
Etc., etc.
“especially those chrome door edge guards”
When I bought my Kawasaki EX500, the PO had put chrome door edge guard on the edges of the fairing, rear fender, and pinch welds at the bottom of the gas tank. Guess what the first thing I did to it was?
Wait, There’s More!
9. Head and tail light brush guards on extremely expensive SUVs that will never be driven in the snow, let alone the Kalahari.
10.Massaging Seat Mats – Remember those? Every cabbie in the world had his or her butt on one. Mine broke and I was finding wooden balls on the floor of my Grand Prix for a year.
11.Anti Static Strips – Cheap pieces of rubber (deluxe versions had reflectors!) hanging from the rear bumper. Not sure if they worked as I never needed to assemble a computer in my car at speed.
12.Gucci Driving Shoes — Do they make the car handle better when you heel / toe?
13. Fake Dash Mounted Laser Cannon (with sound) – I think Sharper Image had these. Intent was to reduce road rage by simulating a Battlestar Gallactica type attack on the knuckle head who just cut you off –totally useless.
Wow! My dad had one of those things in the ’80s haha, completely forgot until you mentioned it:
I had one of those! Eventually it was stolen out of my desk in the lab back in 1992. I remember those things were expensive, like $20 or more. They were amusing; I kept wanting to mount it on my racing bicycle, but never got around to it.
The “Revenger”! my US based sister sent me one back in the 1980s.
It survived into the 2000s. I kept on the dash to fool cops into thinking it was an ( illegal in Queensland) radar detector.
“10.Massaging Seat Mats”
I’ll add one to your list:
14. Large gold crown air fresheners on the rear shelf – goes with no. 10. See “Men in Black” for confirmation!
I hope I won’t offend anyone but here’s how I felt about these anti-static strips with triangle reflectors (I haven’t seen them in a long time!): I thought they looked weird and signified, “slow vehicle”, or slow-reacting medicated dizzy driver: avoid staying behind and pass quickly before he/she notices as the driver might steer in your direction accidentally while you’re passing!
While the anti-static strips with reflectors, mud flaps with reflectors and plastic door guards with reflectors often seemed to belong to some kind of dim bulbs who were barely able to figure how to install them if they required anything more than peeling a sticker, I have to admit I kinda liked the chains on bumpers that were supposed to serve the same purpose as the anti-static strips!
I remember seeing these on a late-1970s Plymouth Caravelle coupe (Dodge Diplomat clone sold in Canada) in my neighborhood when I was a kid and asking my father what was the purpose of adding these chains. He answered me that some people believed they got rid of static that makes some passengers sick while riding in cars! Then I asked him if these also increased the chance of being struck by lightning in a car!
As for dealer-installed accessories, I nominate the first-aid kit that most manufacturers offer.
For one thing, they’re almost entirely composed of things that are of little or no value in giving first aid. The few useful items in the kit can be bought at a drugstore for a few dollars.
Thing two is that if they stay in the car long enough, the contents become entirely useless.
In 2003 I opened the OE first aid kit in my ’77 Mercedes 240D. Everything had crumbled to dust.
I actually like the Audi first aid kit in the rear armrest- it’s nice and out of the way. I did replace everything with drugstore stuff, though. I think my kit is a little more useful than a kit of “Three bandages and a used tube of ointment”. I could just throw that in the glove box!
We got one with n the VW. Right now it’s sitting on the kitchen counter to treat various scrapes while moving into said house. The kit has all manner of stuff, even a blanket. Who said VW was all bad?
I think mine was raided by the last owner. But, a first aid kit in the rear armrest is really a nice idea. It’s out of the way, but there if I need it. I’m a klutz, so I’ve used it a couple of times!
It is the law in Germany that every car must have a warning triangle and a 1 aid kit on board. That goes back to the 70’s.
Good idea.
Only the 1970’s? I thought it was further back in time, like the 1960’s. Or maybe I’m just thinking of the triangle.
You may be right. Late 60’s is quite possible.
Accessory cupholder/armrest combos. Nothing ruins a classic car interiors appearance more than these bulbous out of place things.
That guy should have spent the money toward new upholstery…or at least having the driver seatback stitched!
I have to defend these, but only to a small degree.
When I drove the Galaxie to Mississippi, I had the need to create something to hold a drink. Needing to clutch and shift with a can, cup, or canteen stuck in your crotch area sucks. I’m guessing this could be a factor with this guy.
However, cheap skate that I am, I went to Wally World for a small plastic bin that I bolted up to two metal pencil cans. The cans will hold a 32 oz styrofoam container and stuffing a rag into the bottom makes for a dandy way to hold a 12 oz can. It is removable and the whole thng cost like $6.
Dude, you need one of those plastic hook cupholders that fit in the door between the glass and inner seal. Those were *everywhere* back in the ’60s-70s, when modern cupholders were but a drunken gleam in their daddy’s eye. Heck, I probably have one out in the shop somewhere!
Would you believe the door is too thick to hold one? Besides, when one can spend $6 and create this cupholder / map holder, what more could a guy want???
Ed, I used to have those for my Volvo 940. Then one day on the way to class I took a corner a little too hard and dumped coffee on my person and most of the driver’s door panel.
I didn’t use it for coffee mugs after that!
I had a window cup holder for my 86 GTI; it didn’t fit in my e30, but then I figured out a can of soda fit perfectly between the drivers’ seat and e-brake handle. For longer solo trips I have always fudged a “cup holder” for coffee using my Club and a leather jacket, arranged just so on the passenger seat.
– Not quite on topic, but what about the pages upon pages of cheapo after market crap on eBay that makes it hard to find genuine OEM or useful period trim bits for your classic.
– Also, AMC Hornet hatch tent (ok, probably useless, but pretty dang cool…)
+1 the eBay comment.
+2 on the eBay comment. I swear it used to easier to filter out non-OEM stuff (’twas easier to limit search by manufacturer?).
And don’t forget the cheap ebay crap has a line for every car made from the beginning of time. So, if you do a search for, say, valve stem caps, it will say “Fits 1971 Maverick! Fits 1921 Model T! Fits 1932 Maybach!” Now that gets annoying when you’re trying to find something specific for your make, model and year of car.
I hate most of these accessories but the continental kits are certainly among the worst-looking and least practical.
I don’t understand the desire to add fender skirts on cars that were not designed to have them! Even on those that came with them, they might look OK on some cars (even one of mine has fender skirts) but they are an annoying accessory.
Vinyl tops, aftermarket sunroofs, ugly spoilers, door lock protectors (I haven’t seen those in years!), smoked or chrome headlight covers and those stupid headlight eyelashes.
Some accessories I kinda like: I do like some bumper/window stickers that make me smile or that let me know if the driver of a car has the same political opinions as I have or not! (they are not popular where I live in Canada but I often enjoy seeing them in the States!). But that’s about it!
Me too, on the continental kits and fender skirts. About a month ago, I met a ’64 Olds Cutlass coupe on the road. As it passed,I saw that it had a set of those stupid stainless fender skirts on it. On a Cutlass? Even Rodney Dangerfield wouldn’t have done that.
My dad’s UK built Nissan Primera came from the factory with external plastic headlamp protectors. They discoloured, and eventually cracked around the fixings and had to be glued.
I always wondered why Nissan felt the need to fit them when I never saw them on other cars. Even more strangely, they said “Made in Australia” on them in very visible white lettering.
Funnier due to Primeras not being sold in Aussie.
These
I’ll second that. Nothing says “low-life” louder than Truck Nuts.
I ran over a set of those bastards once. I was behind a pickup on the freeway and the Nutz decided to part company with the back of the truck. Nutz went bouncing toward my car. I swerved, but they went under my car and bounced up and hit the floorpan with a loud ‘crack’. I was more annoyed by the sheer uselessness than anything else.
Im torn. On a beefy musclecar, jacked up Jeep, diesel truck or any other already blatantly macho rig its a total D-bag move.
But on a rusted out Corolla with bullhorns on the nose….YES!!! And i have seen this. Putting truck nutz on a basic boring or shitty car is hilarious…the less masculine it is, the better. Actually, Im tempted to stick a pair on my mom’s beater taurus when Im back in TN…..
I saw a pair on a Kia Sephia- in that 1990s fuschia color. Absolutely hilarious!
They don’t belong on a Compensator 2500 Turbo Diesel, though….
On a Kia Sephia?! Those still exist somewhere?! I think I’d approve that on a Kia Sephia! Or on a Prius or a Smart as long as they don’t fall on the street! Some of these cars can’t even be equipped with a trailer hitch!
That would have the same effect as headlight eyelashes on a 1 ton Diesel pickup!
Speaking of fuchsia, this is pretty bad!! Before spending money to do such a thing, please give it to those who really need some!
I’ll take photos for the Cohort if I see it again. It was fuchsia with both left doors being replacements. I can’t recall seeing another either….
Just because you have money, doesn’t mean you have taste…
I think someone needs to put a pair on a New Beetle (preferable one sporting the eyelashes).
Every time I see truck nutz, I feel the urge to tightly fasten a zip tie around the top.
Those are truly foul.
Now don’t get me wrong I HATE front plate laws, but if you’re car has the bracket for one and your state doesn’t require it, either pull the bracket and plug the holes or run the state plate. DO NOT USE THESE TACKY THINGS!!!!
Both of mine blends much better with the car.
Sometimes it’s hard to leave it empty, especially when modern vehicles have black plastic plate frame rather than older colored frame carefully blending with the car.
That one’s tacky for sure, but for certain cars there are exceptions. A ’70s or early ’80s Chevy just looks right with an authentic “USA 1” front plate. I still have the one I had on the ’78 Malibu I drove in high school (in violation of Texas law – never did get busted for it!)
I, too, like this.
I really dislike window visors. I know they are good for smokers and such, but I think they look awful.
Pretty much covered all the accessories I hate, already.
Fake “venti ports” attached to the front fenders of tiny economy cars or very expensive luxury cars.
“Bras” when they are left on cars 24/7, 365 days a year. There’s almost nowhere in this country where bugs are THAT big of a problem and besides, they wreck the paint job if left on when they get wet.
Flags, Confederate or not, that have become so worn and weathered that they look like an old tie-dyed t-shirt that has been through a meat grinder. The worst example I’ve seen so far was on the back of a fire truck. The flag looked like it had been used to clean up the engine compartment before being jammed into the exhaust pipe for a few months.
Steering wheel covers that are so thick you can barely get a hold of the wheel rim.
BTW, I would rather ride in a car that smells like a pine forest instead of one that smells like the dumpster behind a fast food restaurant.
And I agree with others here, smoked headlight covers and even more…smoked tail light covers. Police should automatically ticket vehicles that have them and put the vehicle drivers in cells that are heavily darkened (black floors, walls, ceilings, and furniture and lacking ANY light sources. Let these folks stumble around in the total darkness for a few days.
All of the above,
When we bought our Caravan it had a front bug deflector, side window air deflectors and accessory mud flaps.
They were removed the same day we brought it home.
Also my motorcycle has areas on the sides of the gas tank that look like they were sanded, PO had installed a vinyl tank bra which collected dirt and scratched up the paint. Wonderful!
For a daily driver, I would’ve at least kept the mud flaps on.
I am surprised no one came up with this one:
Those stupid can looking things on the end of exhaust pipes of ‘tuner’ cars that sound like a long extended fart. REALLY? If you want it to sound cool, buy a car that sounds cool already.
Rick
;o)
…or make your own out of a tin can. Costs less, works the same!
One time, I took a pair of tin snips and made a Christmas tree star out of a Coors Light can. I damned near cut myself putting it on, but it looked really cool. Getting off track, aren’t I?
Hey Mustang Rick. Would you please consider using another name here at CC? There’s already another registered CC user with that screen name, and it’s a bit confusing. Thanks!
Will do, Paul… See my post below. Thanks!
Rick
Fake. Buick. Ventiports!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! AAAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHHHHHHHHHHH!
…but I digress…
🙂
I pretty sure people who put these things on their cars are trying to make it look like a Maserati Quattroporte not a Buick, although I always think “Buick” when I see them, including on a real Quattroporte.
I might like to see 1975 LeSabre Ventiports on a Maserati!
Wouldn’t you really rather have a Buick?
Oh, yeah. 2007-13 Escalade-style fender vents on vehicles not called “Escalade”.
Just as wretched as fake ventiports on everything not named “Buick”.
Unfortunately, there are many car manufacturers that have incorporated those Escalade-type vents in the front fenders of cars. They are now seen as a “badge” to denote high performance versions of many normally pedestrian sedans.
New car dealers love this crap. It’s highly profitable and a few dealer-fitted accessories car significantly boost the final dollar value on the contract.
Headlight protectors, wind-deflectors, floor mats, etc…
I used to fit them at a Toyota dealer. Sometimes the seat covers and wind deflectors are a pain in the butt to fit.
Remember Coca Mats? Sometimes called Sisal Mats. They always looked clean. Then you lift them up and all the dirt was sitting under them on the carpet.
The ones in my 944 disintegrated, so I had many, many bits of coco fiber under mine!
Continental kits, especially on cars that never had them when new
Mopar toilet seats
Fake scoops which don’t suck air in
Clear plastic seat covers (on hot days) though they were useful due to my little sister’s talent for blowing chunks
Wooden bead seat covers
Wish I knew how to add pictures here. There is/was an ad recently on the Gainesville, Florida Craigslist for a mid 80s Grand Marquis that had every possible accessory added to it. The car in question had a Continental kit, fender skirts, fender venti ports, curb feelers, and one of those over the windshield visors. And the car had a 2 tone paint scheme.
Maybe it’s a good idea you can’t!
Howard: right-click on the picture, “Save as” JPEG onto the desktop, (give it a new name).
Use the “Browse” button. Click on “desk top” inside the browse window. Click on the picture file and hit “open”.
Here you go, Howard–it’s still for sale:
Donk wheels, anyone? 🙁
+1. Bad wheels are a matter of taste but generally speaking if it doesn’t look good on a muscle car or a Jeep then I don’t want it on ANYTHING.
How about those fart can exhaust tips. Ugh.
Stupid decals of Calvin (of Calvin and Hobbes) urinating on an object of ones’ contempt, e.g. rival sports team, car brand, etc.
Stick Family decals.
There is a purple PT Cruiser in town whose owner must have ordered at least one of everything in the J.C. Whitney catalog. Ventiports, chrome A-,B- and C-post trim, chrome door edge guards on every opening, including hood and trunk, chrome fake luggage straps on the hatch, chrome wind deflectors on hood and side windows, chrome mud flaps- the list goes on. I have never looked inside it. I’m afraid to.
Except for stick Star Wars characters or zombie. Those are ok.
Having owned a PT Cruiser, I cringe every time I see one customized by someone who just HAD to modify the car but had no clue on how to make it actually look better. OR, actually do some true hotrodding to your car that homages old school hot rods? Imagine that! Those cars are ludicrous underrated and suffer a tarnished reputation mostly because people with no sense/taste bought them and stuck all kinds of cheap and wonky doo dads all over them. That and bringing a modern car with retro styling and entering it in classic car shows.
No “wonky doo dads” here…
Those PT Dreamcruisers are gorgeous!
+1 on the Calvins- I’m quite sure they turn Bill Watterson’s stomach too.
+1 on the stick families. We really don’t care how fertile you are. Do you want a medal?
+1 on truck nutz. They were funny for about- oh- three seconds after seeing them for the first time.
I’m surprised nobody has mentioned 50,000 watt amps and subs in boom cars. The world would be a measurably better place if they didn’t exist. Along with all manner of loud exhausts. Especially the Hardly Ablesons.
I have a used car (my Think EV) with an old smartphone holder’s base glued on top of the dashboard. Of course it doesn’t fit my phone. If I could pry it off without cracking the dash, which I can’t, it would leave a nasty ring. So it sits there ugly and useless.
Think EV? The Ford joint-venture car? I could have sworn those were crushed, but it looks like the ones set to be crushed were sent back to Norway.
I have never seen one in the flesh. It would be interesting to do a CC on!
I’ve seen a few Th!nks in Portland, Oregon, they definitely get my attention when I see one cause of that “distinctive” styling!
I have the 2011 Think City that Think built in Indiana after Ford stepped away. They priced it too high, when the Leaf came out sales dried up and Think folded. There were several hundred cars in inventory they sold in Portland and Indianapolis at a low price. I got mine a year ago from its original owner, for less than I was going to spend on parts to convert my Miata. It’s a good little commuter EV, 70 mph and 70 mile range.
Thank you for this info. I worked in Indianapolis for 9 months this year and kept seeing these things. Never saw a badge on one and I couldn’t find out what they were.
Aftermarket wheels. Almost all of them.
I may not make many friends for stating that opinion, but to my eyes, grossly over- and undersized wheels simply look silly, and the right-sized ones look cheap. And I can’t help but wonder what the outsized ones do for the vehicle’s dynamics, handling and overall safety.
“Fear This” stickers. I’ve only seen these on a couple cars that I thought were actuallydeserving.
Like the bone ass stock chevy Corsica that some tool had when I was in community college. That always made me laugh!
bud can rear window graphics on trucks.
automatic transmission. duh.
I work with a guy who lost a leg in Iraq.
So, would you please tell me what’s wrong with him having an automatic?
Not a thing, IF youre physically incapable of driving a manual safely. In the case of your co worker, let him know his service/sacrifice are much appreciated. Otherwise, theres not one damn advantage to them. Ive never owned a slushbox until I bought my Ram…only reason I accepted an auto is because to get a stick in a Ram 1500 you give up the Hemi and are stuck with a V6 or 4.7. V6…no thanks at all. 4.7 is a fine motor in the Dakota, Grand Cherokee etc but in a fullsize rig its a bit of a dog. It gives up 45-120 hp to the Hemi (depending on variant) mpgs are comparable and it has little to no option for upgrades.
Autos are more initial cost, cost more to repair/replace/maintain. Up until the TF-8 in late model Mopars, they are generally less efficient, less performing and out of touch with what a true driver is doing. I haven’t driven one but everything Ive read on that box says its a masterpiece and even other row your own fans have chatted it up quite a bit. What Ive noticed is that Im far more tempted to peek at my phone when driving since I have a lot less keeping me occupied so its a definite safety issue as well as contributing to the erosion of peoples’ interest in cars all around. Anything that makes people indifferent to cars and appliance-izes them is a very much bad thing, IMHO.
You are aware you can no longer buy ANY new full-sized pickup with a manual transmission? For that matter, it’s been a few years since they were last offered.
The only Chevy pickup with an AVAILABLE manual transmission is the Colorado….and only with the 4 cylinder.
Nissan’s Frontier and the Toyota Tacoma also offer manual transmissions….but good luck finding 1 at a dealer.
Howard, additionally everything a driver would actually do has been co-opted by some electronic gadget or sensor. All anyone does these days is “pilot” a car. Power steering, brakes, traction control, ABS, everything has been done to eliminate actual driver participation. Even calculating mileage is done by digital read out as well as oil monitoring and tire pressure.
And many times these days an automatic will get better mileage than the manual.
I’d have had a manual in the ONION if it had shifted as intuitively as the 95 SL1 I had. But it didn’t. It irritated me every time I shifted it and it was noisy as well. Not something I wanted to use in LA traffic. It imparted a feel of less control, not more. It was a distraction, not enjoyment.
In my 63 Valiant with three speed manual and neither power brakes or steering, I have to genuinely participate in the act of driving.
Manuals are fun, but the control argument is less and less valid as we get more and more electronically edited out of the driving experience.
Ram cummins 4×4 can get a manual…thats the only combo that can get it.
My apology if my comment was too harsh, but I frequently use it on TTAC and Jalopnik with the automatic haters. Having worked with and actively recruited disabled veterans, you’ll have to forgive my sensitivity when someone flippantly condemns all automatics, as though all who have them don’t deserve to drive at all. It’s silly, and I believe above the dignity of this site.
There are many reasons why you can no longer buy manuals in pickups (and many cars) today.
While automatics were once more troublesome and less efficient than manuals, that’s no longer the case.
But most of all, the market has spoken, and has spoken loudly: People want automatics, and won’t buy manuals. If you don’t believe it, look at the sales numbers, and read Steven Lang’s posts on TTAC.
It needed to be said. Jalopnik was the first thing I thought of when I saw that initial comment.
If you really want to become a persona non grata, go on NASIOC and admit you own a 2015 WRX with a CVT!
I sometimes miss driving a stick. Then, I sit for an hour in Orlando traffic and don’t miss it. Or I’m out with friends and remember that I can’t have too much fun because no one else in the group can drive my car home, or I can’t borrow my buddy’s truck for a day because he can’t drive my stick.
Paul
Does this site allow duplicate screen names? I noticed that “Mustang Rick” posted a comment above regarding tuner car exhaust tips. That wasn’t me. If you notice, my icon is missing from that one. I only commented on the vinyl tops.
Just wondering. Thanks.
It allows only one person to register per user name. But one can comment without registering. So the answer is apparently yes. I will ask him to use another name.
To Mustang Rick: My Apologies – I use the handle Mustang Rick on another forum, and did not realize the name was already used here. I will register and come up with another handle. I am new to Curbside Classic… love the site Paul… Keep up the good work! I especially love the “Curbside Fiction”. You guys have some great writers here. BTW: in case you are curious, here’s my hopefully one day curbside classic… Thanks… Rick
Thanks Paul I was a little surprised when I saw my handle being used.
Rick
Welcome aboard. I think you will enjoy this site. No problem from me on the handle confusion. In fact, I totally agree with your comment. Around here those seem to appear on really clapped out cars of all types. We also have some kid driving around town in an old VW Diesel Rabbit with an exhaust pipe running up the side of the car like a semi.
First I see my name on a post that I didn’t write and then you post a picture of your car that could pass for my DD except I have the Bullitt wheels. I feel beside myself. LOL
I guess great minds think alike.
BTW, good choice on your car preferences.
The way you guys handled this is a reason why I keep coming to this site.
By the way, my name isn’t Rick, but I may have to change it after seeing and reading about your black Mustangs… 🙂
Yeah, BuzzDog & Rick, the Mustang you see pictured there is my Daily Driver as well… I can’t afford a hobby car… Yet. As pictured, on 12/28/2013, and looking back at my maintenance records, I noticed that I had changed the oil in her that day and logged an odometer reading of 123,456… Currently, she still looks that good at 156K. One day, I hope to get my Dad’s 2014 ‘stang pictured below, and this black one can become my ‘hobby car’. I guess you can call him “Mustang Richard” (lol) as I am a Jr. Dad’s had his for 2 years now, but only has like 6,900 miles on it. Lucky guy. ;o)
The world needs more black Mustangs. My last two 3 DD Mustangs have been black. I like the shine and I don’t have to clean tar off. In fact, all my Daily Drivers since 1979 have been black. That was when I bought the new Malibu I still have.
I actually also have a red ’66 Mustang, but at least it has a black top and interior.
Yep, I am a real Mustang fan, especially black ones.
Thanks for the nice words.
Ooo, I just noticed BuzzDog… Yours looks to be a 2012 Pony, and it looks like you have thes same wheels as my Dad’s 2014. Nice.
Mustang Richard, it is indeed a 2012 Pony with the “lowly” 305hp V6…more power than my last GT, and 28 to 30 mpg on the highway.
As Mustang Rick says, it may be the only color I buy from now on — although, as my fair weather car it’s driven less than 5,000 miles per year, so I may keep it for a while. Of the three Mustangs I’ve previously owned, two were white, and one was burgundy. When the 2010s came out, I saw one in black and was hooked.
About those wheels: Never though much about them, until I was at a local Chamber of Commerce meeting and a guy came up to me and said, “If this particular code is cast into the inside, they were made locally.” Sure enough, they were cast at one of the two Superior Industries plants that were operating at that time in my community. Unfortunately, one closed last year.
Thank you, sir, and welcome to CC!
Thanks, Paul… You know, I am so glad I found this site (I even turned my aforementioned father onto it), and I am glad I was not put off by the very first article I read here…. https://www.curbsideclassic.com/uncategorized/curbside-classic-1973-ford-ltd-bring-on-the-bloat/
You see, the ’73 Ford LTD was my very first car. And while the article did not have kind things to say, they were all true in retrospect. ;o) I still loved that car though. You could fit like 10 people in that thing!
I’ll get around to signing up for real, once I decide on a handle… Perhaps “Retro-Stang Rick” or something… Let me think on that.
BTW, did you grow up near Baltimore or live here once? In some posts and articles I’ve read of yours, you seem really familiar with the area, and police departments and such. Just curious.
Yes; lived there for my middle/high school years. My mother and a brother are still there. In fact, I was there last weekend for a wedding.
“Ain’t Skeered” decals. The thought of being “skeered” must have occurred to you or you wouldn’t have mentioned it.
I dislike those diamond shaped yellow signs in the rear windows saying :”Baby on board!”, “Grandma on board!” etc.
There is only one that I liked. it said: “Who cares!”
I’d give a pass for the ones that say “Mother-in-law in trunk.”
The vehicle that makes me cringe when I see it? Grandpa’s Pimp Truck….
Complete with:
-Whitewall tires on a set of cheap white ‘spoker’ wheels
-Ill fitting universal ‘Superior’ cut-to-fit running boards
-an old-school flat Deflecta-Shield (in red or blue, complete with ‘Kilroy’ figure
-rusty chrome fog lights
-cheap crappy saddleblanket seat cover
-combination Wally World compass/temperature/digital clock glued to the top of the dashboard
-the old-school chrome Ventvisors
-rusty chrome tiedown cleats screwed on the side of the bed
-crappy-looking cheap 1975 Gem Top canopy
-the articulated boat cupholders bought from Ed’s Surplus screwed on the dashboard
-curb feelers
-1 rusty chrome exhaust tip hanging precariously off the edge of the crumbling rusty tailpipe
-‘Damn Seagulls’ mesh trucker hat hanging off of one of the hooks on the gun rack in the back window
-$9.95 cheapie (bought out of the barrel by the front door at Al’s Auto Supply) glasspak spliced into the exhaust system (wake up that 6-cylinder!)
Pimpin’ at the Elks Lodge circa 1975-1985!!
How about those little bullet shaped things you put on your bumper to keep the deer from running in front of your car. I had a neighbor who would swear by them. I don’t know how he knew they worked or not.
They sell them to keep roos away here!
Yeah I bought a cheap UC Torana that had those the wallaby it hit that bent the front in cant have been listening.
I understand that they attract owls.
The “ultrasonic deer repellers” used to be popular accessory on the large, American sedans driven in a retirement community here in the Ozarks. When I saw them, it would bring to mind this scene from the 1961 version of The Parent Trap:
http://youtu.be/k0HgUBWiR7o
I can hear the seniors at the earlybird buffet, saying, “I’ve driven with ’em for years, and never hit a deer, so you KNOW they work!”
Some really awful items listed, but one that is truly craptacular is those chromed B pillar stick-ons. Ive seen them on all manner of cars but like the fake portholes, Mopar LX cars seem to be regular offenders. Why? Cleaner generally looks better and in my school of thought, a B pillar is something you want to DE-emphasize, not make more conspicuous. Me personally, I tend to be drawn to things that actually serve a purpose and function…that makes it LOOK cooler as well. Ill fess up…my RumbleBee has a fake hood scoop…part of the package. But you CAN make them functional.
Anyone who pays attention to my comments knows Im a wheel nazi. Old school mag style wheels not only enhance the appearance of pretty much anything but actually served a purpose to those period cars. Even now, some of the wheels geared towards tuners enhance that look and help handling. But you rarely see those exceeding 18″ and they prioritize lightness. Big blingy chromed clown shoes grossy exceed the weight of smaller wheels and at that point rubber band sidewalls have jumped the shark in terms of enhancing handling. AND theyre about as pretty as a butthole sandwich…
Fully 60% of the cars I’ve owned were “hardtops”, The LAST thing anyone should be emphasizing is the “b” pillar…Unless a Limo or a truck IMHO! 🙂
I remember 4 door sedans back in the 60s that had chromed upper door frames and b pillars, these looked better than the painted versions that the cheaper models had.
Totally agree it doesn’t work on todays cars
OMG, I Soooooooooooo agree! The thing with modern cars is very few are designed to look like “sedans” anymore, the blackout B pillars are an effective way at carrying out a hardtop profile whilst retaining chassis stiffening B pillars.
Also what irritates me is when I see my MN12 brethren leave the whole door frame body color after a repaint. I personally know a few that do, and I don’t want to call them out, but this just doesn’t work…
Walmart special wheel covers! They look tacky and never seem to fit the look of the car they’re put on. Even more so when it’s just one or two with the remains factory covers
Cars with alarm bells that go off when the doors are opened or the lights are left on. Ding, ding, ding, bloody ding. Hate them. Would never buy a car with one of these fitted and would happily rip out the dashboard to find the offending bell.
My W124 has one discreet ‘alarm’. A warning light flashes on the headliner panel to inform me that my seat belt is not attached. Blinks three times with no noise or drama.
fake bullet holes!!!
WHY are fake holes so popular at car shows and cruises???
My nephews who live in Salt Lake City went to a party and came back to the family Taurus and it had bullet holes in the left rear fender. My brother was totally mortified when he saw it. I thought it was cool. But the fake bullet holes ? Bah. Poseurs !
This can go on forever, but top of my list: Aftermarket ghetto huge wheels, (and while I am a Broghamantic,) Fake R.R. grilles, Continental kits (unless on an actual period Continental…) Fake Venti-Ports (Unless on an actual period Buick…) Im in the ‘Keep it stock ” crowd…Get Off My Lawn! 🙂
Not sure if it was dealer provided, but the several blue tinted headlights I’ve seen since I left high school. Can this please coincide with a massive license suspenture thathe keeps blue headlights out of my way?
The things on the front of the car are not there to protect the paint they are bug deflectors to deflect bugs from the windshield and they do work for their intended purpose. Yes they can catch debris and you need to clean it out when washing the car, and that does mean taking it off from time to time to really clean things properly. How hard it is to remove them depends on the brand and model. The ones I’ve had usually are attached with 4 or so screws or occasionally a couple of little clamps.
I hate the feature my mark vi has that locks the doors when you put it in gear. I also hate those levers some cars had to push to remove the key. I don’t like truck nutz. I don’t like gm cruise control on the turn signal. I don’t like dingers and buzzers. I also hate yellow rear turn signals. I also hate Ford’s horn on the turn signal.
I like continental kits and port holes and big aftermarket grills and brougham tops and seats nd hidden lights. What can I say I Drive a mark vi
Going by memory here, but I thought the Ford auto-lock of the 90s could be disabled. I did so on my 93 Crown Vic. I think it involved pushing a combo of buttons on the keypad on the driver’s door. Check an owner’s manual on that one.
Fake continental kits, add on fender skirts , and the gigantic chrome spotlights that many classic car guys seem proud of. I also cringe when looking at a nicely restored muscle car and the owner decided to add aftermarket mag wheels and stupid fat tires.
I know that many people like them but I absolutely hate extended rear bumpers and continental wheels.
I had several 80s era BMWs with dealer installed sunroof wind deflectors…impossible to clean behind/under, and trapped water if you parked in the rain nose-down. They also faded to a gross purple color over time. I removed one, but it had damaged the paint underneath, so on other cars I bought, I just left the dumb things in place.
Decklid spoilers/wings are an abomination.
And let’s not forget Vogue “tyres” with the gold and white sidewalls, now made in China since Goodyear shut down their private label/contract production.
I think the lamest was back when people stuck phoney cell phone antenna on their back windows. When I was a kid there was a fad of sticking hood ornaments on cars and trucks– chrome Pegasus with plastic wings and such.
Ditto to that, and the fake, boomerang-shaped TV antennas that used to appear on trunk (boot) lids.
Just though of another accessory used at car shows that I’m not terribly fond of.
And it’s a mystery as to why they appear, except perhaps to allow a spouse to play a part in the display.
At one time I had a street rod and went to a lot of shows. I still go to a few and help put on a couple of local ones. Anyway, when these first started showing up I told my wife and friends that if I wanted a crybaby along I would bring one of our kids ( grandkids now).
Every time I see one of those “crying kids” I want to kick it.
I only scanned comments quickly and there may be some repeats, but in addition to the aftermarket anything and especially donks, the seasonal crap drives me nuts. School and pro team clip-on window flags, holiday wreaths mounted on the grill, and any kind of political bumper sticker/window adherent. In the Upper Midwest and elsewhere, Ole and Lena still think attaching a hunk of brown cardboard between the radiator and grill will somehow warm up their vintage LTD or Impala a bit faster….
I hate those huge steering wheel covers that turn up on most older cars now. And I am with everyone on the chromed plastic ventiports.
Thankfully, some old offenders have disappeared, like the bird hood ornaments with colored plastic wings or the gold crowns that people put on dashes or in the back window.
And this one may have been local, but after the Indianapolis Star went on a rant in the early 60s about the need for daytime running lights, we saw for years cars with a little round white light attached to the middle of the grille. It always seemed to be on 62 Bel Air sedans.
I remember those. My grandma had one on her 1960 Impala. There used to be a lot of those around.
Didn’t they always show pictures of them on Studebakers ?
I know how the star is with their self righteous rants. A place I used to work at was on their receiving end a couple of times.
It happens everywhere but there’s a large number of restored classic cars in Australia that are absolutely covered in period accessories and I hate em. I know the owners are free to do whatever they want but can’t some of them must realise their cars would look better not covered with all that shit? It’s not as if it was normal for all cars in the 50s,60s,70s to be like that. I’m even seeing 70s and 80s cars at shows with those stupid placebo anti static straps fitted to them as if to represent some kind of period charm.
Mudflaps, towbars and maybe even fugly external sunvisors I can understand because they serve some purpose. Curb feelers, wing mirrors, wheel spats, bumper bar overriders, door handle scratch plates, canvas water bags (in this day and age), headlight and windscreen insect screens and unused roof racks I cannot see the reason for having all on one car.
While I’m on a roll I’ll also add that getting some unloved shitbox from the 70s because it’s “oldschool” and lowering it till it scrapes on the tiniest of bumps, putting whitewalls on it, painting the rims, making the shifter 2 foot long, clearcoating over surface rust, and putting a shitload of the aforementioned accessories on it, does not make it a hotrod or a rat car or a classic and you would have been better off leaving it the hell alone.
Car alarms – do they deter crime, or just call attention to the idiot who has set it off yet again. Especially the aftermarket versions that would go off on a whim.
Must a classic car be compelled to have big fuzzy dice hanging off the rear view mirror?
Donks – the less seen the better. It ruins the asthetics of a CC candidate. Either go full ricer (for maximum ridicule), full pimp (ibid), or not at all.
Most after market hub caps. Also, I rarely saw those spinning rims (“sprewells?”) that didn’t look like cheap, poorly finished or balanced chrome. That fad has faded, fortunately.
I happen to like fender skirts. Like for Girls, a well-tailored skirt matched will make her look good. And the opposite is true. My fantasy ’55 4dr Bel Air will have them. But I never cared for continental kits.
Cheap paint jobs, regardless of reason.
People commented on dark tint. I seem to recall that may be illegal in some jurisdictions. But poorly applied after market tint (see the bubbles?) is really tacky.
End.
JC Whitney made these popular when I was a kid and I received one as a Christmas gift during my teen driving years. Needless to say, it did not make it into the back window any car we owned:
A few from when I was a young hooner/driver back in the mid-’70s:
Curb feelers – while these are somewhat more limited to a certain demographic today, they were more widely popular for a while.
Dixie Horn – made popular by the Dukes of Hazzard television show. I wanted one of these *so bad*. Glad in retrospect I could never afford one!
Wink Mirrors – often combined with rear louvers over the back window.
CB radio – had one of these! We were definitely part of the CB craze…
And I’ll finish with a photo of the dash of my Vega, which included the CB, 8-track player and analog meter power booster. The paper attached to the dash has the “Achtung! Das machine is nicht for gerfingerpoken…” text on it.
Ah, youth!
I installed a CB and a 10′ whip antenna on my first car, an ’84 Rabbit. The CB was really cool; had a telephone-style handset. (I still have it somewhere.) Probably saved me from a speeding ticket or two on the highway.
Black “chrome” wheels: always look like the hubcaps have flown off [ the Nissan Versa look ] and make a car look like a beater no matter how expensive the wheels were or the car they’re on.
Spoilers. Body kits. They always seem to make a car look worse.
The only accessories I added to my car is the hood scoop (needed to make room for carb) aftermarket wheels (they don’t make wheels that big for my car, but they fit in) factory spoiler (keeps the back end down at speed) and the rear window louver (keeps the car cooler in FL sun) THe ones you can’t see is the engine 3 times bigger than stock, 5 speed trans over the auto, and 8 3/4 rear as I had to put the power to the pavement somewhere.
Oh yah I remember those cats in car back windows, maybe we could do a story on automotive fads that arn’t cool anymore. Like painting the rear end cover flourecesnt orange and skinny tires on the front with the rear end rake.
Locking gas caps are not only to keep gas from being stolen….but to keep bad stuff out of the tank…..Years ago a friend of mine had sugar or dirt dumped in his gas tank by some kids up to mischief……He had to get the carburetor cleaned along with the gas tank and gas lines……so he went out and bought a locking gas cap afterwards.
Weathershields as we call ’em in Australia. There was a place for them when drivers where required to give hand signals. Yet I still see them on modern AC equipped cars.
My Commodore had them on both sides when purchased. They lasted the trip home and then straight to ebay.
I hate those stupid headlight “eyelashes”. Every time I see them, it makes me want to rip them off the car
Fake arms/legs hanging out of the truck, stick figure families stickers, balls hanging from the trailer hitch, “Baby On Board” signs, carbon fibre hoods/trunk lids/gas doors, flat black body parts, huge rear wings/spoilers, fart can mufflers..the list is endless
Might have been mentioned above (TL;DR), but it seemed like *everyone* had a (back half of a) Garfield cat hanging out their trunk for a couple years…
Actually, I like plastic bonnet guards like that, but with the following proviso: only as period pieces on 80s/90s cars. To that end, I recently bought a factory-accessory pair of plastic headlight-protectors for my magnificent Sierra, as well as the driver’s door monsoon shield from this Cosworth that’s being broken for parts in Bryce’s neck of the woods. Not because they’ll be terribly useful, but because they give the Sierra a nice period look (like whitewalls on 50s cars that didn’t originally have them!).
Touchscreens and-from the `80s-synthesized voice vocal warning systems.Also those Calvin and Hobbs characters “peeing” on a Chevy or Ford logo,and “my kid is an honor student at….” bumper stickers.As they used to say in Mad magazine-yeeeech!
I really dislike window visors. It always kind of useless Accessories ever I had