Maybe it’s just me, but the global mood seems pretty heavy nowadays. Adding to that, increasingly we may be finding that the Internet is simply no longer fun anymore. Heaven forbid. It seems that no matter where one stands, or of what persuasion one may be, there is plenty enough going on that is heavy and fraught. “What were they thinking?” is a completely perplexing question to be asking on a local and global level.
So, let’s not ask it that big question in that context. Instead, maybe we can seek some existential relief by refocusing the question on a largely inconsequential topic closely aligned with a subject we – at least those of us who have found our ways here – know and love? How about spending a few minutes wondering about the choices and thought processes some of our fellow drivers have made around the labels and statements placed on their vehicles?
That’s right, it’s time to dip into my ever-growing collection of “Whaaaaat? Did they really mean to say that?” vanity plates and bumper stickers (and a few other randomly-related signs). Things that make you scratch your head and wonder just how much thought the driver gave to putting this thing on their vehicle and then heading out in public.
I’ll get us started with a few of the favorites from my own personal collection, mostly snapped through the windshield as I’m stopped behind folks at lights. And then you can share some of your own.
Before going any further, this may be a good place to be reminded of the site rules around politicking and overt political comments. That could be an easy trap to fall into when talking about stickers and adornments, so let’s try just have fun and to stay away from that. As they say about pornography (we’ll get to that in a bit), you know it when you see it. So, it seems with politics. Be careful. ‘Nuff said.
The lede picture of the Saab 9-3 convertible pretty much sums up the idea I’m shooting for. On one hand, you have to hand it to the owner for not taking themself too seriously. On the other hand, one has to ask who wants to ride around with a “vanity” plate advertising what most would assume to be a not-particularly-sociable personality type. Furthermore, maybe that whole joke (if it is a joke) would have played better back when Saabs weren’t so thin on the ground, weren’t Subarus, and when they carried a cachet that maybe hasn’t been so much of a thing in the past 20 years or so.
This of course brings me to the somewhat popular (as far as these things go) affectation of putting a sticker on one’s vehicle that advertises the owner as simply being a not very nice human being. Frankly, this seems more of an affliction than an aspiration. I’m not sure what “Bitchdust” is supposed to be, but it doesn’t sound like something I’d like anyone to be sprinkled with.
There’s also something kind of weird about how all of these “Sprinkled with…” stickers (and I’ve seen many more than one) are in that goofy Disney font. Maybe they sell them at the Magic Kingdom? Which if true just seems less than magical and mostly just kind of sad. At any rate, I don’t know since I’ve never been there. I’ll just assume that there’s a joke somewhere in there that I’m just not getting.
As usual.
Likewise, the above seems to be a thing that some aficionados of Chevrolet 4X4s like to be tagged with. I couldn’t call up a good picture that I had taken of one of these stickers actually on a Bronco, but I promise I’ve seen them numerous times. Last one I saw was imprinted on one of those plexiglass “bug guards” that was attached to the leading edge of the hood. It was printed in reverse so that either it would appear non-reversed in the rear view mirror of whoever the driver was about to run down (i.e., me), or simply so that the driver could amuse themself as they read it in the proper orientation as they drove.
A strangely self-deprecating affirmation, it would seem to me.
Speaking of automotive self-deprecation…I suppose that it’s kind of a positive – liberating and free – notion to embrace your lack of horsepower. Particularly so if you’re saddled with the AW70 4-speed transmission that is ever-so-popular among hipsters who cannot drive stick but who seem to love 245 wagons.
To paraphrase Huey Lewis, it’s hip to be slow. I guess. Nevertheless, the sticker on this Vanagon GL (it could have nearly 90hp! as I don’t think that it’s the diesel which has roughly half that) has all of the looks of something that the owner’s friends surreptitiously stuck on the back of their vehicle when they weren’t looking. Boy, will they be pissed the next time they’re inevitably back there pushing and see that someone put that on their car. Otherwise, it’s purely self-deprecating.
I love the straight-forward honesty, albeit with limited creativity, of the owners of this Accord I spotted in Chicago. I’m guessing that their child is legally named “Our Child” and as a family they enjoy spending time with their pet affectionally known as “The Cat”.
Sometimes it’s difficult to get a handle on just what an owner is attempting to communicate. My guess is that this VW owner – who I found just last week in Indianapolis – is offering commentary on VW’s quality control by advertising to the world that their vehicle is the “Unreliable One”. This does make you wonder what else might be in their garage badged as “UNRLBL2”. Thoughts are welcomed in the comments.
Speaking of confusion. It took considerable self-restraint (and unfortunate timing) to keep me from hopping out when I was stopped behind this CR-V and pointing out to the owner that they didn’t actually have an E91; but that I do! And then offer to buy their plate.
There are mechanisms for us to do that in Massachusetts.
Time and the New England climate have conspired to make it unclear whether this guy loves monkeys or perhaps what’s faded away isn’t a heart but rather the capital letter “C” (and hopefully not the numeral “8”).
Well, I do too…all the time; after all, all of us here are just monkeys one way or the other…I’m just not sure that it’s either remarkable or necessary to advertise.
Then again, if it’s flying monkeys that he’s seeing, then that would be worth noting.
In which case, the driver of this Kia I spotted in Western NY seems to have that possibility covered.
It’s rather unclear to me just what this person is trying to tell the motoring public. Yeah…ok. So…?
Along those lines, let’s wrap this up by imagining being the poor employee who has to drive around all day with this painted on his (or perhaps even worse, her?) work vehicle. I know that they say that all publicity is good publicity, but who really wants to people honking at you all day for THAT? Even if it is enclosed in quotation marks. Nudge, nudge, wink, wink…club you over the head with that double entendre eh?
Vanity plates, stickers, or advertising…head-scratching or smiles? Lighten our day. What strangeness have you captured out there on the roads?
Just saw this one the other day (not the most readable font and colors):
Despite being a car enthusiast and a license plate collector, I rarely take pictures of people’s vanity plates, even though. But I love self-deprecating humor so I appreciate (some of) the plates and stickers here. The SLO Volvo plate is perfect.
Here’s one that I took a few years ago, and I’ve seen this Country Squire around a few times since then. Though it seems to be that this plate has itself become a bit dated, since I’m not sure as many folks aspire to owning BMWs as they had in the past. Regardless, I like it.
Finally, concerning your observation that the Internet is no longer fun anymore, I heard someone remark recently that the Internet used to be a way to escape real life, but now Real Life is a way to escape the Internet. Very true, in my opinion.
BMW = Big Major Wagon? Big Mama’s Wagon? Bulky Motoring Wagon?
It’s likely something else entirely.
” Internet used to be a way to escape real life, but now Real Life is a way to escape the Internet.”
I like that. Funny cause it’s true!
That CS looks really solid.
Regarding the New Yorker article, all the focus is on Twitter Facebook and Google as if they define the internet experience. Google used to be a useful search engine before blatant payola but there are and always have been alternatives, and centralized social media themselves I’d argue made the internet less fun a whopping 15 years ago! Their implosion NOW is making the internet worse? Pfft, maybe people will go back to proper websites like CC and forums harkening back to when the internet was truly fun!
Sorry for the rant, that probably went against the spirit of this. I saw this poor beat up car a few weeks ago but when I noticed the door placard it legitimately made me laugh out loud.
One quick reaction to your comment… My first thought after reading that New Yorker article was the same as yours (which I did not understand as sarcastic) about how maybe people will go back to proper traditional proper websites like CC. Or blogs, I might add.
Well, one can dream.
(great sticker 🙂 )
It’s already happening, in part because FB and Google have cut (or drastically reduced) their news feeds, so folks now need to go to their preferred news sites directly. Major news sites are seeing a distinct uptick in direct traffic.
It does appear that the heyday of the aggregators is over. This is a welcome development.
Having assiduously avoided FB and all other social media, the internet hasn’t really changed for me.
It seems like 80% of NH cars have vanity plates. Mass is a pain because you need to renew every year for 80 bucks
I have noticed that too. But it turns out that VA has the most…something that I always suspected from my years living in the DMV. I’m not sure why, but I always suspected it was because VA seemed to allow owners to have more characters on the plates than other states.
It’s , I believe, still only about ten bucks a year extra.
Well, that may explain the popularity. Andy’s correct, they set a (relatively) high financial hurdle here in MA for full on vanity plates. I pay an extra $20/yr just so I can have a picture of a dog on my plates.
And I don’t even get to choose which dog. 😉
Actually, 13% – according to the New Hampshire Department of Safety:
https://www.nhmagazine.com/granite-staters-celebrate-their-vanity-plates/
But that’s among the highest vanity plate ratios in the nation, so it probably seems like 80%. And it’s much higher than Massachusetts. Like Jeff mentions above, Virginia is usually considered a leader in Vanity Plate registrations too (though it’s ratio is probably similar to NH’s). I assume those states that make it relatively cheap and easy to get a vanity plate are those that have the highest percentage.
And as far as I know, vanity plates are offered by every North American jurisdiction except for Newfoundland & Labrador.
When I decided to replace the plates on my Nissan Frontier in 2016 (the originals dated back to when the truck was new in 1998), I found the VA website made it easy to order specialty or vanity plates, but I had to dig to find the link to order plain old regular plates. So, there’s one reason vanity plates are so popular in VA
Re Following the “well hung” drywall man:
Reminded me of when I used to live in England. I was a fairly new driver, tooling around our sleepy London suburb. The van going in the opposite direction belonged to a scaffolding company, proudly proclaiming that they were, of course, “Masters of Erection”
Still makes me smile 😉
Yes indeed 🙂
When I lived in Western KY a number of years ago, one of our mandatory activities when friends visited from out of town was to photograph them in front of this particular local business…
This person either confused his companies, or they are an Elon Musk fan…
Well, I suppose it could actually be Elon’s. Although that would imply that he got a new car since he launched his first one into space.
https://www.whereisroadster.com/
That one has a different vanity plate.
I can’t believe that “TESLA 10” was already taken! 🤣
Oh, and as a proud caretaker of a Cairn Terrier, I approve of the KIA with the NY Plates.
Thanks for the link! It was nice to see a Cairn run again. Molly is just about fifteen-and-a-half now, and doesn’t really run much anymore. She’s still got that infamous Cairn Terrier DIVA attitude though. 😉
Update: Molly was in fact running around the back yard this morning. 😃
Maine got the great idea of allowing anything that would fit on a license plate to be on one. Yes I mean anything. In the interest of keeping it clean I’ll let you use your imagination or do a google search. The state has since rethought their decision and has rescinded those plates. They are the property of the state. You pay to use them.
I saw a first-generation Chevy Cruze LTZ with a bumper sticker that said “Hot Girls Hit Curbs,” and–indeed–the car had all manner of scuffs, scrapes and dents. I’ve never seen someone so willingly admit that they are a careless driver, but I gave the person driving the car a wide berth once I saw that.
That’s excellent.
I believe that’s in keeping with the sentiment behind “Bitchdust”.
2 favorites come to mind:
Saw a big-ass 1970 or so Oldsmobile with “LOW MPG”
And a Honda Fit plated “HISSY”
Ohhhhh. Love “HISSY” 🙂
That’s been a long-running joke in our house, the top-of-the-line Honda Hissy Fit!
My ’70 SAAB had a front vanity plate from the previous owner: SNERT. I never found out what it meant.
Snert is Hagar the Horrible’s pet dog. Hagar is a Viking. Thus, we can see why the SAAB has SNERT for its license plate. However, SNERT is also an acronym in at least two versions that derides egotistical teenagers. I’ll say that the SAAB owner chose the vanity plate because of the lovable dog.
I’ll try this again to see if Snert’s picture will show up. Note the language in which he barks!
VW Vanagon seen years ago in Edmonton.
Bumper stickers seem far less common than they used to be. Maybe it’s because I only notice the cars covered in them from bumper to bumper.
In Denver environs a couple of years ago I saw a Tesla S, obviously driven by an aware driver, with the plate: COALPWD.
My favorite of all time was a Toyota with the vanity plate “ATOYOTA.” Not only accurate and informative but also a palindrome. My vote for most confusing bumper sticker is attached. A map of Alaska with the Washington State Seal on it, next to the name of a country in Africa. There’s a town in Zimbabwe named “Alaska,” so that’s part of it. I guess some folks who emigrated here from Africa decided to commemorate the move with a special bumper sticker? Or are they just messing with me?
That’s fantastic! And is illustrative of the special meanings that lie behind some of these bumper stickers and vanity plates. Yes, they are messing with us. But that’s all part of the fun.
I have the photo on a hard drive, not on this laptop on which I am typing. It was in NYC, a New York plate on a Mercedes (S-Class IIRC) that said “THXALLAH.”
This one is real! YIKES!
LOL!
Apparently Missouri still makes its license plates in prisons. Perhaps the workforce has some measure of control over how the plates read?
Actually, that’s a question – that someone here probably knows the answer to – How exactly are “regular” number plates assigned the numbers/letters that they wind up with? Is it fully random?
License plate sequencing varies by state. Sometimes it’s straightforward and completely random statewide, other times it’s not.
In Missouri’s case, it’s random, but MO uses hard-to-remember alphanumeric combinations (the current pattern is AB1-C2D).
Massachusetts is odd because the numbers are issued by month of expiration – so plates that expire in January all end in “1”, February “2” and so on. (No regular-issue plates expire in Nov. & Dec. in MA.)
Here in Virginia, the standard plates use an easy ABC-1234 format, though we’re the only state where the sequence is being issued backwards… it started at ZZZ-9999. Then there’s all the optional design plates, which have different sequences.
Some states, like Mississippi, still issue plates numbers that correspond to the County of issuance (for example, Forrest Co. plates start with FR). Many more states used to do that, but it’s limited now.
As far as I know, Ontario is the only North American jurisdiction that issues standard-issue plates with four sequential letters (i.e., “ABCD”).
And then there’s letters or numbers that some states skip. Here in Virginia, standard issue plates don’t have Q, O, or I… though those letters can be ordered in vanity plates. Also, standard-issue Virginia plates don’t have “leading zeros” – so in an ABC-1234 format, the sequence of four numbers won’t start with an “0”. All states & provinces have obscure patterns of issuing plate numbers like this.
OK – that’s probably way more than you wanted to know. But if you’re interested in reading more, the website https://www.licenseplates.cc/ is used by license plate sequencing enthusiasts to report the latest-issued plate numbers in all states and provinces. Total car-related minutia.
Thank you Eric! I suspected that you’d have the answer, I just didn’t want to seem to compel you to offer it 🙂
I know that Nebraska is another state that has plates that correspond to the county of issuance. I got a surprisingly long explanation of that from a Nebraskan the last time I was there. I think that’s cool…almost as cool as the old fashioned “city plates” we used to have in some places.
Here in Maryland, we are now doing the format 1XX2345. Much like VA, I, O, and I believe Q are only allowed on vanity plates. There’s a similar rule regarding stating with a 0 (zero), although it differs from Virginia slightly…
That first number before the two letters can only be 1-9, however, the numbers after the two letters can start with a 0. In fact, just the other day, I spotted an unusual tag… ALL four numbers after the two letters were zeros.
The rule regarding starting with 0 must not have been in effect back in the eighties when Maryland had its 350th anniversary. My ‘83 T-Bird sported the Anniversary Plates with the number 026-ADV. Somewhere along the way, this rule must have changed.
Maybe this guys knows… https://www.ricksplates.com/
And here’s the answer to the problem…
Oh, that’s very good!
I can only agree with the sentiments expressed on this one.
Oh well, it said “I heart eggs”
Now, if you know Turkish… I do not know how this got passed the DMV.
At a cars and coffee
I have a neighbour who has a stunning Volvo 544 with the vanity plate “EYE ROLL”. I don’t expect many people understand, but I find it clever. (Volvo is Latin for I roll). He used to also have a beautiful 122, but he is getting on (like all of us) and trimmed his Volvo collection a few years ago.
The newsletter of the Volvo club I belonged to when I lived in northern Virginia was named “Volvamus” (Latin for We roll).
I love these. I have not done a good job of photographing the fun ones I occasionally see, and will have to do better.
The one I did photograph (but can’t get my hands on the proof) was a Subaru Outback wagon loaded with bumper stickers. Although the Subaru Outback has kind of developed the reputation of a car favored by left-leaning folks, I found one loaded with right-wing bumper stickers. Now I am on the lookout for something like a Ram 3500 with left-wing bumper stickers, just for the sake of symmetry.
Found this one recently.
“Dark Matter” ?
Or maybe
“Dark Meater?” – just legs and wings only, ma’am.
Will try one more time to attach
Images gotta be less than 1800 pixels wide x 1000 pixels high in order to upload in the comments section.
Smaller! Thank you.
I think “Dark Matter”.
But I prefer the “Dark Meater” interpretation.
Dark Mater. Mother or player?
For anyone who’s ever owned the perennially-useful pick-up or van – or a small garden trailer, for that matter – the sticker seen about 5 or 6 years ago on a Falcon ute: “Yes, this is my ute. No, you can’t borrow it.”
I saw this quite a few years ago. Not a sentiment I share.
The creativity of an applicant in Wyoming for personalized plates is quite limited by the state’s system.
The county number (1 to 23) must appear to start the plate, before the bucking bronco. Then you may apply for only one to five subsequent letters or numbers, with some detailed exceptions. Any smart phrase you may want must be very short and will have your county number as a prefix. So personalized plates here are not very interesting.
However a dentist down the street does have the plate “2 (bronc) OOTH” on his F-150. That’s about as clever as one can get here.
I wish I had a picture of this one: I saw a blue Chevy Sonic with a plate that said “HEDGEHG”. This one’s a pretty good play on the car’s name; snapped it a few weeks ago.
Driving down the 400 north of the GTA this summer I spotted this and burst out laughing.
Mud-boggers can have identity issues too!
“4x4x8” on a Honda sedan. Guess the model?
That’s a tough one…but like so many vanity plates, obscurity is the point.
I’m going to guess that 4X4X8 is supposed to reference the number 128. Which brings me to some element (Tellurium is #128 on the periodic table). And hence an Element?
But if not that (because an Element is arguably not a sedan), then an Insight? I have no supporting rationale for that guess other than those are quirky cars, and hence may match with someone with a geeky-enough train of thought to generate a pretty obscure plate reference.
That reminds me of Elements I’ve seen with the letter T in the badge replaced with OP. You have to say it aloud …
An Accord. A cord of wood is, dimensionally, 4ft by 4ft by 8ft. I actually saw this one in the wild. It took me until i got home to figure it out.
Perfect! That’s much more clever than most vanity plates. Kudos to the owner.
Egotistical bastard that I am, all our vehicles are vanity plates. My Bolt is SYKE (obviously). My wife’s Bolt is NOANGEL (very fitting). Our minivan is RNDHED (Roundhead, somebody had already grabbed RNDHEAD, I’m a 17th century reenactor, the term is English Civil War).
The motorcycles are SYKE1, SYKE3, and SYKE4. I found SYKE2 in my stuff a month or so ago, so when my 88 Low Rider comes home again I’ll put it on that bike. The Syke (number) thing is traditional, I’ve had up to SYKE8 at one point.
Wow. I will say that this is the first reference to Roundheads that I have encountered since perhaps 11th grade (46 years ago?). I do recall that the term generated much amusement and interest in Early European History class (yes, we had that, and of course I took it).
Hence, I love the reference!
Now, according to the CC effect, I will no doubt find myself engaged in some discussion about the English Civil War, Puritans, and/or the divine right of kings within the next several days.
I too enjoy vanity plates .
I’ll try to take a humorous (?) pic and post it here .
-Nate
Dreams never realized…
In his VW days, dad wanted “JAWOHL” for his bug but we talked him out of it. It was the 70’s and vanity plates were seen as vain and frivolous nonsense.
Very un-Canadian. We used to be very inclusive, Mixing Bowl vs. Melting Pot. This on the back bumper of a ’76 Ford.
I’m okay with assimilate or perish……
-Nate
Here are a few favorites I photographed over the years:
Those are great. I have a few pictures of the Prius bumper sticker myself. The VW with the LOL plate probably gets quite a few offers to buy his plate.
When we got the Buick, “A BUICK” was available in IL but my wife wouldn’t allow it.
I also said I wanted my lucky number, she asked me what it was and I said 3509. But I wanted it in roman numerals. She also did not like the idea of MMMDIX on the car.
Now we have Sox vanity plates on the car (Sox fan but it’s mainly to have nice black plates on the car instead of the hideous IL defaults) but it’s just our initials. BOOOOOOOORING.
We’ve also had a couple great fake plates for Lemons races… Blues Bros fns might get this one from the Joliet race.
One from long ago that still sticks in my mind was “714 LUDE” How it got past California DMV back in the 80’s I have no idea. Not my substance of choice, but many indulged in it back then.