There’s nothing wrong with wanting to add a personal touch to your vehicle, giving it a little something extra to stand out from the crowd. However, this is best done when kept to a tasteful minimum. Otherwise it just becomes tacky.
Whether it be adding aftermarket rims/wheel covers, numerous bumper stickers, vinyl/canvas roofs, various trim add-ons, paint jobs or pin striping, more often than not, people get carried away with it. Though most of these aren’t to my personal preference, this Camry I recently spotted features a rather popular modification that disgusts me to the core: peel-n-stick fake chrome B-pillar trim. Which form of aftermarket modification irks you the most?
There are SO many… where to begin?
Adding holes to the side of a car other than a Buick has to be at the top of the list.
Although the long extended fart exhaust has to rate up there real high too, as well as the huge wings that are usually added to go along with this wonderful accessory….
…although I must admit I have a new found respect for those after reading about David Saunders epic tale of the 2017 Great Beater Challenge and his entry in this year’s competition.
Please click here and scroll down to the 10th and 11th pictures.
https://www.curbsideclassic.com/blog/road-trip/the-great-beater-challenge-2017-vehicle-selection-and-preparation/
Epic….
How many factory spoilers actually generate downforce? The Subaru WRX’s looks like it might.
Making them detachable might be a good compromise for folks not always driving on the twisties.
Many factory spoilers that aren’t just show reduce drag rather than increasing down force.
Those are usually modest little kick-ups on the decklid, in no danger of impressing boy-racers.
Having admitted to not being a fan of the wings on cars, I must admit that my wife’s Lancer would look naked without it. I spotted one in traffic this morning and thought I really don’t like it without the wing or the chrome exhaust tip (factory on my wife’s car below… not added on, BTW). Oh, and the exhaust tip is just for show, not a fart can, although its look may’ve been inspired by one.
Hers is a 2009, and the trim levels were LS (base), ES (hers… basically a glorified base model with the wing and the chrome exhaust tip and a nice Rockford Fosgate stereo “factory thumpin’ system” if you want to call it that – and yes, there’s a damn subwoofer wasting valuable trunk space ;o), Rally Art (not quite the top trim), and finally the EVO (the fast and furious [and real expensive] one).
My wife does not need any down force. She has never gone faster than 80, and complained about doing that trying to keep up with me. I don’t think down force from a wing even kicks in until you’re over 90+, right? She is also short, and would rather it not have a wing to hinder her visibility out the back. But she loves her car. It’s my job to keep it maintained for her…
They’re there so you can see where the car ends when you look over your shoulder to back up. I’d just as soon get a hatchback.
Carriage roof (esp. on models w/o a boxy roofline) and Conti kit rank high for me. Folks don’t wear 70-year-old fashion except at costume parties, so why this?
Chrome pinstriping on every door edge and body cutline. Ruins every line and confirms one has bad taste
http://www.slightlywarped.com/crapfactory/curiosities/2011/october/images/american_cars_27.jpg
Holy Cow is that NASTY!
Testicles attached to a over-lifted pickup or SUV. To me, it speaks volumes on the owners “insecurities”.
+1 on this ^^
+2
+3!
+4. Just VULGAR, tasteless, and tacky.
+500,000
Yes, extremely tacky. Let’s just say if I had a young daughter, I’d rather not try to explain what that was about if she asked me “Daddy, what’s that hanging down under that truck?” I think you know what I’m saying. It’s just a conversation that I’d rather not have.
Precisely, LW.
“Honey, that’s a sign that this particular man would not be a good boyfriend for you since he wants to brag about how fertile he is.”
“Ewwwww!!”
Can we also talk about the over-lifted truck itself?
I’ve always hated the fake convertible look. Vinyl roofs, done well, can look good. But the fake snaps and under-canvas frame are just so… inauthentic. Like, seriously, who are you fooling with that? And why would you want those ugly snaps around your c-pillar when there’s no tonneau cover to attach? It just boggles my mind.
Yep, I agree, CJC. The fake snaps. My buddies and I in high school in the early 80’s used to ridicule cars with fake snaps. I guess they’re kind of like fake shutters on houses — absolutely no functional value, but maybe aesthetic value for some.
My dad’s 78 Buick had fake stitching on the plastic dashboard and door panels, as I recall. Not an aftermarket addition, but similarly silly.
My parents’ 81 Buick had the fake stitching there as well. Even at the age of 5 I thought that was a little goofy.
All kinds of cars through the years have had fake stitching. I think they have a stitched leather dashboard and other panels made and then take a mold of that to reproduce in molded vinyl or worse hard plastic. My sister’s current model Honda Fit has that on at least the hard plastic dash pad. My 1988 Horizon had the same, but at least it was (pre-airbags) soft and padded.
Speaker installations… that carve a giant irreversible hole into a trim panel, as seen with certain CC featured yellow ’69 Firebird convertibles.
There are so many to choose from, but I’d have to go with the ersatz convertible tops. Clearly an afterthought, no way designed with more than a most casual nod to supposed functionality. I have not seen a car flattered by one since about 1980, and those were factory done (Mark V, Thunderbird, Mustang, Cordoba all come to mind) and even then a bit questionable.
Just. Ugh.
One of the first examples of the fake convertible top was from the factory: the 1979 Custom Phaeton option on the Coupe de Ville and Sedan de Ville. See http://www.oldcarbrochures.com/static/NA/Cadillac/1979_Cadillac/1979_Cadillac_Brochure_1/1979%20Cadillac-12.html.
Shameful.
How about a Continental Kit on a Honda Prelude?
One of these on that car.
For me, it’s excessively – loud exhaust pipes, because they’re intrusive, unpleasant and difficult to ignore. A moderate sporty note is just fine. But open pipes one can hear for blocks? Really annoying.
Virtually any other appearance or functional change does not bother me in the least. Who an I to pass judgement on some one else’s pride and joy? Want a pink vinyl roof with chrome trim, a hood scoop and “Hello-Kitty” tailpipes? Go for it. You’re an auto enthusiast, so more power to you and your personal expression.
But… put hugely loud pipes on your vehicle, and drive it on the street? No way, because you are now intruding on my (and everyone else’s ) reasonable expectations peace and quiet and enjoyment of life. Put a sock in it and give others a break. If this bothers you, go and see a psychiatrist about why you want to attract the attention (and ire) of everyone around you.
Once on an Interstate, I followed a Mexican bus which had noisy exhaust very poorly attenuated at a distance of even half a mile ahead. Some motorcycles are like this too. What makes this acoustic “wormhole” possible?
Bikers always claim loud pipes save lives. I respond that helmets and bike flags would too, but they’re not cool.
Evidence this is a marketing lie: loud pipes face rearward not forward as they would if it was about safety.
You can’t hear a loud motorcycle or car coming towards you? Sound waves travel all dimensions.
I agree entirely. I think tasteless mods are hilarious.
In addition to annoying exhausts, I’m also bothered by poorly installed lighting kits which blind other motorists.
I could add to that cars with insanely loud and bass-boosted sound systems. Drivers of those cars like to cruise along during rush hour with all their windows open, system turned up, bass pounding so loudly it overwhelms other drivers’ sound systems, so loud it can be heard a block away. I think, “You arrogant *****! What makes you think everyone else wants to heart your alleged music?”
+1
Never got that obsession with bass. It drowns out any subtleties in a music selection. For me it’s just crude and…. not about appreciating the music.
There was a car stereo store that ran radio ads back when I was in high school that played on your point. The ad went something like “If your only goal is enough bass to shake the people around you, then you probably won’t appreciate the superior dynamic range of our sound systems. But if you actually enjoy listening to music, we have the stereo for you.”
Agree! We used to call those disco quality bass sound systems ‘Bensonhurst Blasters’ because almost EVERY Camaro, Firebird, or Cadillac in said Brooklyn neighborhood had one. You heard them blocks away,and you never knew what song it was-mostly disco of ‘house’ music because it was totally blotted out by the ‘boomp,boomp,boomp, boomp, boomp, boomp, boomp’ of the bass.
If you don’t like my exhaust stop following so close.
Besides, what you really hear are people tooling around in 1st or second gear at 25+mph. My car will set off car alarms if I did that, but I respect my neighbors and keep the revs way down where it’s no louder or obnoxious than the airplanes flying over. It’s a damn sight more quiet than school busses and other diesel powered vehicles that frequently drive through the neighborhood.
How loud is your car, Matt? You seem a bit defensive, as if we’re discussing you personally 😉
As loud as any V8 Mustang with race bullet mufflers, like I said I could set off car alarms IF I rev it up near them.
I’m just saying, an obnoxious exhaust is only as obnoxious as the driver, if I’m basically idling the car down the street in third gear you’d not likely notice it, I’ve never been pulled over for it either, which the local police will enforce. And I don’t like it loud for attention, I simply the sound of certain engines, mine or anyone else’s. I’d rather listen to a parade of uncorked V8s in the summer than the deafening noise of Cicadas that mother nature provides for most of that season.
My 66 Imperial has mellow glass pacs that only have a slight rumble, HOWEVER the harmonic vibration from a 600+ hp 440 magnum vibrates everything near at low speed. Car alarm, metal walls, things on shelves. and once set off a defense system when visiting a high security area with a car club.
Afraid I have to agree with loud piped save lives, I had many different motorcycles over the years, most large displacement Harley, Indian, Triumph etc, The pipes were louder than the horn when blipped or accelerating. It was quicker than the horn your hand is already on the throttle, It worked many times, same as an unsilenced large capacity 4barrel or more I have air horns on all my cars except the 56 DeSoto, it has the optional Imperial horns and is as loud. But first defense is a blip of 4 bbl which has never failed to attract the wanted attention.
my last Harley
I don’t mind ALL loud exhausts, just annoying ones. In fact, I love a loud great sounding exhaust. I’m referring to the type of exhaust that drones like a buzzing bee, most often seen on putzy little four cylinder cars. And I agree, it does often happen from folks staying in low gear, but the ones I’m referring to even happen at freeway speeds.
”If you don’t like my exhaust stop following so close.”
It’s not a problem when I’m following a vehicle with a loud exhaust; it’s when I’m trying to fall asleep after 11pm, and someone with one passes by my well-insulated home with one.
After seeing truck testicles on nearly everything that remotely looked like a truck, they have pretty much disappeared lately.
An overabundance of chrome strips, especially in places where it’s not needed, speaks of a certain demographic group. They aren’t seen on any vehicle all that often but it still surprises me when I see it/them.
I’m not a super patriotic guy, but what bugs me is an American flag on the back of a vehicle that looks like they used said flag to wash the floors in a slaughterhouse. I’ve seen a couple on firetrucks like that and I want to b***hslap the men who can’t be bothered to see how disgusting that flag looks.
Well, that fake vinyl roof look is pretty much numero uno on my hate list. Donks still get the blood angry to no end, lowriders are more hit and miss, donks just don’t look good at all.
But nothing gets me going more than fake chrome where it doesn’t belong. Tacky aftermarket grilles, fake chrome door handles, fake chrome wheel arches. It’s just so wrong.
Also going back to the Fleetwood from this morning. Continental kits. I think they looked dated even during the 50s, on 90s or modern cars, they’re so anachronistic it’s borderline painful.
Add on Chrome side window trim. I’ve seen the side front window chromed, the back side window chromed, but none on the fixed window built into the C pillar. Chrome B pillar with everything being black seems popular too. If it were done to look factory stock I wouldn’t object, but the people who buy these half assed kits don’t realize that the stylists who design cars understand how the eye follows lines. They know all the tricks. A chrome B pillar is like a bumper sticker in the middle of a painting.
Chrome window frames were a popular option on most mid ’50’s to mid ’70’s American sedans. They looked pretty classy on cars of that era. Not so much today.
As the first postersaid…There are soooo many!
Carriage roof, go faster racing stripes,
Ridiculously huge wheels (It’s not a Conestoga wagon dude)
“Slammed” lowered suspension, apparently required on ALL car rebuild TV shows
Rear wings on front wheel drive cars
Rear wings on rear wheel drive cars, unless you are a NASCAR driver or Formula One
and routinely drive 200mph
Fart can exhaust
Continental Spares
Blue and / or Red parking lights, You’re NOT a cop
After market foglights on ALL the time as soon as your headlights are on.
“Jacked” Trucks where the differential is 2 ft. off the ground, but the body is 4 ft
Any chrome stick-on trim pieces, a little is subtle, a lot looks stupid.
Thank You…My rant index has reached it’s daily capacity! But check with me tomorrow!..Now get off my lawn!! 🙁
Of all the mods I find irritating/annoying/tacky/vulgar, it’s the blue or red parking lights that make me angry.
Too many stories of people (usually women) getting harassed or assaulted by cars sporting fake blue lights…seriously, NOT cool.
Is there any state where having blue lights (unless cop or volunteer firefighter) is legal?
Don’t know, and I’m with you on that. Both red and blue I’m pretty positive are the no-nos. Civilians are not supposed to have anything red or blue that might make them appear to be emergency responders, ie, police, firemen or medics.Yet, I sometimes see vehicles with both red and blue lights added. I think it’s supposed to get you a fine, and a written warning that you have X number of days to get them removed from your vehicle. Yet I’ve seen several vehicles like that this year. I suppose the only time that would be OK would be at a car show for when the car was parked and not being driven.
My understanding is red is allowed in the back, amber on the front or back and clear on the front. Any other color is illegal with certain exceptions like volunteer firemen or safety vehicles.
Those Calvin urinating decals.
+1 on that.
Besides being completely tasteless, they’re all unlicensed knockoffs that are not in any way endorsed by Bill Watterson. Watterson in fact specifically fought against pressure from his publisher to merchandise his characters, believing that it cheapened his work.
+1
Or Calvin peeing on a Ford or Chevy emblem!
Apparently, to judge from that photo, someone wants this Camry to look like a Buick.
When we had our ’03 Civic Hybrid, we did get a few aftermarket official Honda accessories–different wheels, mud flaps, nose mask, cupholder for the rear seat. But those were official Honda accessories. On our ’09 Camry Hybrid, we haven’t put anything on it. It came with the transparent door edge protectors and behind-the-door-handle paint guards, and everything else was as it came from the factory. These days we just don’t do bumper stickers, either.
I think for many, the Camry has replaced the Buick as a bland appliance car, but here, they haven’t quite got Detroit aesthetics out of their minds.
In their early days, Hondas had little factory variability besides color and transmission, and you kitted them out with dealer or aftermarket accessories.
And thanks for No Bumper Stickers. I don’t like people inflicting their opinions on me just because I happen to follow them. It’s part of the American cult of Self Expression.
Spinner *hubcaps*. They’re just so ridiculous.
The “ridiculous” part pales in comparison to the insane safety risk they pose. There are many stupid things on the road, but few stupider than deliberately distorting the ability of other road users to accurately judge your speed, or determine if your vehicle is moving or stationary.
Those are still a thing? I seem to remember spinners being big for a hot minute about ten years ago.
I can find something to like about every style and culture of auto customizing. Traditional hot rods, customs, lowriders etc. I can readily find examples of each that are tasteful and genuinely improve on what the factory offered.
But then there’s the donk…
I can’t find a single thing to like about any donk I’ve ever seen. They seem to be all about taking the WORST qualities of a car and amplifying them. The most egregious are those with graphics depicting products like breakfast cereals and the like. What kind of damaged mind thinks this is a good look for a car?
“I can’t find a single thing to like about any donk”
Useful for navigating floodwaters…..
https://i.imgur.com/WqgUapN.jpg
For the most part, the “cereal” or “candy” on the car advertises what the dealer/owner sells for a living. Why else would one pay ridiculous amounts of cash on an old car when that same cash could buy a good Mercedes? Income that cannot be traced has to be spent somewhere.
Lucky Charms? That’s a grocery-chain warehouse item, General Mills doesn’t use vendor merchandis- oh. Ohhhhh…
If there’s one good thing about them, they keep alive cars that would otherwise be left to rot. I wonder how hard it is to undo the “donk” modifications and resto-mod them they way they do with muscle cars.
Extremely. Donks cut open the wheel openings if the tires rub and often have 11″ thick splatters of bondo covering the rot already there.
Those who believe these are saving classics are deluding themselves, but a lot seem to think any wheel above 15″ is a donk too. If the total tire/wheel diameter is no larger than stock (give or take an inch or so), then no, easy turn around, if the wheel itself is taller than the OEM tire/wheel assembly, then it’s a donk.
I’ve had that thought as well. Yes, Donk builders are ensuring the survival of numerous GM B-Bodies, but what kind of life is that for a poor Caprice? One has to imagine some of these cars might have been better off rusting in a field.
I often think of the poor cocooned colonist trapped in the viscera of the alien on LV426 when I see what might otherwise be a well preserved example of classic American iron.
Please…k-kill…meeeeeeeeeee…..
It was a mercy killing when those space marines took a flamethrower to that woman. Can’t we offer the same mercy to old Chevrolets?
No court would convict you:
“The plaintiff is charged with destruction of property”
“Your honor, he burned a donk.”
“Case dismissed. You’re doing God’s work son.”
“Thank you, your honor.”
You know, about those “donks”….Until this year, I’d only seen them pictured online and in certain car magazines. Now, in the past 6 months, I’ve actually seen four. Two using late model cars and two cars that are 30+ to 40+ years. So, my personal opinion is that they sit way too high up in the air, and I question if the person doing the expensive mod did everything safely and securely so that the vehicle won’t be involved in an accident. I will say that I noticed that they typically drive slower than most traffic. I’m guessing that compared to the same vehicle stock, that it has to drive or feel a bit weird, and almost unsafe.
What makes it a donk–the hoops, the paint job, or both?
You know, when we’re talking about all the different mods people do and have done over the years, doing both a custom, fancy paint job along with all the undercarriage mods necessary to fit gigantic wheels on a car has got to be pretty darn expensive. Seems like I’ve heard that quite often a guy has so much money invested in fixing up the car that he often doesn’t even own the tires and fancy rims. And, that he may be renting the tire and rim combination and paying the rent weekly!
Once you get over the weird ride height and wheel proportions there are plenty of donks that are – I don’t wanna say tasteful – but comparatively low-key, restrained and otherwise pretty well executed restorations. And be honest, would anyone care about these malaise barges otherwise?
Even the factory-approved add-one can be too much if not chosen judiciously. Someone in my parking lot has a 2017 Accord Touring and they must have checked every box for ground effects, chrome highlights, wind guards, to the point where it looks ridiculous.
Plastichrome stick ons, be they portholes, window frame trim or whatever. I like chrome as much as the next guy (OK, more than the next guy) but there is something about these stick-on pieces that just screams “Tacky!”
The fake convertible top/carriage roof treatment on anything that is not square is a runner up.
I am not a fan of grossly oversized wheels either, but those are easy enough to remedy.
As an “enthusiast” I hate pseudo-functional mods which are actually completely dysfunctional. BMW 3 series or Hondas with wide low profile tires stretched over even wider rims, with millimeters of fender clearance and zero suspension travel; or absurdly lifted 3/4 ton 4wd trucks, again with low profile mud tires and triple shocks which are howling and bouncing down the freeway and never see dirt. Sure, a lot of the cosmetic stuff (vinyl tops, portholes) is ugly but obviously someone likes it, so who am I to judge. I guess those lifted or slammed vehicles are also just done for looks, but that’s hard for me to appreciate …
The kinds that add very little, to no performance/economy gains. For instance, 19″ racing rims on stock brakes and suspension. A rear spoiler, that looks like it belongs on a Cesena, instead of the trunk of a FWD car. Foldger’s Can mufflers on a Honda DOHC V-Tec. Neon underbody/interior lights. Lighted shift knobs. Racing stickers all over the quarter panels. Non-funtional ram-air louvers. Body kits that are fastened by drywall screws into an otherwise base model car.
I have to agree with the fake convertible tops. I also don’t like aftermarket rims that don’t fit in the wheel openings. In most places this is illegal, but has anyone ever been stopped for this? I assume in places with regular inspections it is rare.
I also don’t like aftermarket taillights and headlights. Most perform poorly compared to the OEM units.
Some aftermarket headlamp bulbs cause issues with glare.
De-badging can be nice, cleaning up the back of a car. Rarely, adding a badge can be fun, but some cases it is too much (BMW M for example).
Also, I am glad that the gold plating of emblems and trim has ended.
I don’t see it much anymore, but dealers used to market “special editions” of cars for a variety of reasons.
Pinstriping is also disappearing. Our Pilot came with it (bought used) and it is a standard two-stripe (I can live with it). But pinstriping on a new car is a no-no for me.
Excessive debadging looks dumb, however. There is a 2012-ish Malibu in my neighborhood with a badge-less billet grille and absolutely NO badges on the trunklid…are they trying to fool people into thinking they drive something more expensive? All I see is a painfully generic car made even more generic…like a prop from an insurance commercial.
Yup, keep the bowties fore and aft, and (a pet peeve of mine) keep them yellow!
Thankfully those Buick/Maserati holes have about run their course.
Fender skirts on Classic/Vintage vehicles that didn’t offer them as an option to begin with. They look fine on Cadillacs, or something like a ‘65 Chrysler or even a ‘69 Caprice, but why put them on a ‘62 Galaxie or Impala?! Wide whitewall tires on a Post 1961 Car also bugs me BIG TIME.
Wow, that’s an interesting variant of the CC effect. Just about an hour ago, in this post, I made this comment with a picture of this car, what I found online the other day while shopping for turn signal-equipped mirrors for my Accord—a car so thoroughly boring and without character that it would seem difficult to desecrate, but, well, click the link and see the lurid photographic evidence. Taste is subjective, of course, but that doesn’t stop a mod like running well past the no-taste zone and deep into bad-taste country.
Beyond the add-ons (including giant wheels, wheel diameter callouts and other bling, phake Continental kits, gold-tone emblems, pimp-style grills…) and defacements (blacking-out taillights/headlights/side marker lights so they work less, replacing lights with light-shaped trinkets that don’t work, that dorky thing of creating a rear licence plate cove at a weird angle, etc), I’ll add: anything that makes the car obnoxiously noisy, whether from the exhaust or the stereo.
Oh, and this really Trumps [sic] all the others.
Apropos of most of this, parts of Canada have a word not in common use elsewhere: “hosey”. In a nutshell, it means “thinks or pretends its classy, but it’s tacky”.
That is the famous vinyl/fabric roof with a sunroof in it?
It’s near-mandatory to have one example on this thread.
Fortunately, the era of “Superfly” headlights seems to have run its course. But don’t get me started on those fake sidemount tires.
Oh, man. SuperFly. What a classicly pimped-out ride. Back in the day, I kinda thought that was just really over-the-top. But, I’m actually OK with that now.
Speaking of Superfly, Curtis Mayfield’s soundtrack title song came up the other day on an Apple Music playlist, and, wow, it’s still really really good.
Not near as good as the original Gaylord
I’ll go for the roofrack on the old VW beetle.
Haven’t once seen one actually being authentically used, they always have a vintage cooler, surfboard, or suitcase in it.
Since I believe that Ed Stembridge has a roofrack for one of his two beetle projects I will look forward to him using it authentically.
I have my grandmother’s old Coleman ice chest ready to tie to the rack with twine!
Back when a 69 Bettle was my parents’ daily driver, the roof rack was regularly used to haul crap that wouldn’t fit inside.
Very few Beetles qualify as cars any more. The majority of them have transitioned to ornamental and recreational duty.
The faux convertible top treatment gets my vote as well; if the top doesn’t retract their is no need for it to be vinyl or cloth. Not a modification per se but I wish someone would invent some sort of universal controller that would permit me to override the sound system of a vehicle whose occupant wants to share his music with me at ear bleeding volume. Something that would allow me to change the music to Lawrence Welk or just shut it off completely. And yes, I realize that for many of these people it is not so much about the music as it is cheesing off their elders. I did more than my share of this when I was younger but I didn’t have access to 400 watt amplifiers and didn’t have two dozen speakers scattered about my car.
I think along your same lines: a magic button I could push to revert antisocial modifications. Thumping stereos become 2-watt AM radios. HID and LED “conversion” kits in headlamps become appropriate halogen bulbs. Blackout paint or covers on lights crumble to dust and fly off.
When XM radio first came out, it was easy to identify who had it by the magnetic roof antenna. I was driving truck for a living and bought an XM receiver that had a remote control that I kept in my pocket which made changing channels on my receiver much easier. It also made changing the stations on other people’s receivers possible if I could see them and I usually could. I’d look for cars with bumper stickers. If they had right wing stickers I’d switch them over to the left wing talk station. Cars with left wing stickers would get switched to right wing talk. Cars with heavy metal stickers would get switched so that they could listen to Guy Lombardo. I’m sure some thought it was a conspiracy. I could tell by the body language that they were baffled. Hey, the hours were long and you had to make your fun where you could.
That is cool that you could have a little fun with people, trying to give their life a little balance. Basically, just a good, clean, safe prank.
That’s gold!
Absolutely love it!
SPOILER ALERT!
Superb!!
That one’s gonna overheat for sure!
Pickups with conversion HID units that, because the filaments aren’t aligned with the reflectors properly, spray light everywhere. Doubly annoying in my low car.
Amen! Oyez! Preach it!
+1 indeed!
I commend you for all the time you put into making this guide! A while back, the salesman at my local AutoZone convinced me that some overpriced “super white” “80W” H7 (I know, halogen, not HID) bulbs were the best ones you could buy and were in such high demand I had to special order them. When I picked them up, they literally looked like blue Christmas lights attached to a base. I came across your guide and realized that I had been duped. I returned them and ordered the 65W Osrams you recommended. Thank you!
Um . . . all of them ?
I recall my first bicycle. I just HAD to get something from somewhere to . . . add to it. A bell or a light — I forget which. I didn’t need either; it was just the urge to modify or embellish. What’s up with that ?
And my second bike, a black 3-speed Rudge with discreet gold striping on the fenders and frame, wasn’t good enough when I found some discarded plastic-model decals my little brother left behind (he only built his planes and ships at that point so they could be blown up with firecrackers — cherry bombs being the explosive of choice). So, I just had to stick rows of them on my fenders. One part slipped in the rain — but they wouldn’t come off. What idiocy . . .
Yes, the silver door-edge moldings get to me — even when they’re only applied to the intended edges. Ugh. Please don’t. Thank you.
I was in the “playing cards and clothespins” sect when I was in my early teens. Made my bike sound faster!
These items have, luckily, been disappearing.
Carriage roofs
Calvin p’ing stickers
Oakley stickers
But, still see and dislike any incorrect badging, such as “SS” on a Chevy Aveo or the infamous ‘SiR’ badge on a Civic LX.
I’ve thought of de-badging my ’07 Accord, but I’m not sure the intended message—”This is as generic as automobiles get”—would get across. So another idea I’ve had is to misbadge it as, I donno, a Chev Malibu (an alternate effort at the same message) or an Olds Cutlass Supreme or Packard Clipper or Plymouth Belvedere or Borgward Isabella or Tooth-Gnasher Superflash (just because WTF).
Ahem. Maybe de-badge and then just strategically deploy “Electronic Fuel Injection” and “Automatic Overdrive” callouts, h’mm.
How about satire: “13 cupholders,” as for our Sienna.
That’s funny. You totally should.
Yesterday, I was sitting behind a 2013-2016 Malibu with aftermarket DOHC badging, in the same typeface as the rest of the car’s badges. I have no idea why…
Last week I saw a recent Land Rover (IIRC it was a Discovery 4), with a seven-character alphanumeric model designation (HSETDV6) in huge letters proudly taking up almost a third of the tailgate width!
Dear lord.
With 3d printing getting relatively cheap you could design a badge, have a service like Shapeways print it, then sand and paint silver/black to match a standard plastic auto badge. I’d suggest something like “Four-Barrel Carburetor” or “Four-Wheel Drum Brakes.”
I’d like the Studebaker “S” made for my Saturn ION badge
This:
+1 x 10^23.
Why are these even a thing?
When were they even a thing?
Hand in hand.
XR7Matt, I’ve seen those at car shows before and never figured out what it was really about. Seems like the kid can’t “unsee” something he just saw, as a guess. Or, maybe he misbehaved and was told to go sit in the corner, or some such thing. Can someone enlighten me?
The dice – every high school kid had them in his car in the 50’s – at 7 I bought a set for my bicycle from Whitney – turquoise and black, no less. They started disappearing in the early 60’s. I remember a girlfriend of my cousin had them in her new 59 Impala convertible and we thought they were pretty cool. BTW, the red Impala had the fender skirts and a continental kit.
I always imagined it had to originate somewhere, with the probable era being the 50s. That makes it all th more anachronistic when I go to cruise nights primarily featuring 60s-70s cars with them in the mirror and pre-Beatles rock and roll being played on the stereo or by the local band. It’s bizarre when you think about it.
Around here the fuzzy dice were smaller and hung between the back of the mirror and windshield, anything in the field of vision cops went after. Friends have given dice to me over the years that match my car colors, they’re in a box, I still don’t like them. I did succumb to a tigar tail out of my gas door when my gas station was giving them away years ago, putting a tigar in my tank.
Everything everybody has mentioned is tacky but I agree, “chrome” window trim is the worst because it never looks good and it’s often the one modification people make to their cars. It’s like the new pinstriping. You’re browsing AutoTrader and you see a nice, stock ATS or 300 and then bam, you see that disgusting trim.
I just checked, and I’m astonished to find myself being first to mention Truck Nutz.
I was going to ask from a previous post what are “truck testicles,” having never heard of or seen them, but thanks for your link, now I know! Pretty awful.
So if you add up all the answers so far, ALL mods conceivable lol
My personal peeves are seat covers, dash covers and steering wheel covers. covering wear and cracks of the stock upholstery with lycraspandex looks much worse and feels awful.
Bah. The ONION’s steering wheel cover is done in an ostrich skin vinyl over a mint steering wheel.
Nothing like the feel of imitation ostrich for a true driver’s car, Matt.LOL.
I’ve had seat covers on my car since the start of the second year. They still look like new, so some do serve a purpose.
I think I’ll go for clear vinyl in time though. Why cover up all that base level goodness with seat covers. Let the beauty shine through
Modification that’d grind gears the most?
…non-syncro crash box
My most hated “mainstream” mods are mock tops and those nasty ugly stainless steel wheel opening moldings. Non-mainstream would be a tie between “donks” and “stanced”, neither of which should be allowed because they make a vehicle VERY unsafe.
Pretty much everything on this.
“Sim-con” tops and vogue tires on wires. Thank God the ’90s are behind us.
I’ll be perfectly honest. I very much like the vogue ties and wheels combo. It’s out of the ordinary and I find it a classy look.
Let’s see: Stick-on portholes; chrome B pillar strips, especially on cars that have no bright window reveal; Alteeza lights.
That’s only the beginning…
I tend to dislike most modifications that permanently damage or disfigue the vehicle, like cutting giant speaker-holes in interiors.
On my ’98 Nissan Altima a couple yeas ago, I replaced my original trunk-lid with a matching trunk-lid, including an OE type trunk-spoiler, which I found for $45 at my local Pick-N-Pull. I decided to swap the whole trunk lid so I wouldn’t have to drill holes in my original trunk-lid for the spoiler, just in case I needed or wanted to change it back later for whatever reason.
The original reason I installed it had nothing to do with down-force or wind resistance or driving fast in the twisties. If it actually helps in these conditions, that’s just a bonus.
In addition to the reason I installed this device, I’ve discovered at least three very practical reasons to have this device on my car – other than down-force, wind resistance or driving fast in the twisties.
Can anyone guess why I installed the trunk-spoiler, or any of the practical reasons to have this device on my car?
Happy Motoring, Mark
Bike rack, yes?
Let me guess. If you are like me, you have found that after releasing the trunk lid, you can then open it with your elbow when your hands are full. I discovered that on my ’09 Mustang shortly after I bought it. It comes in really handy.
As I said above, so you can see where the back of the car is?
The original reason I installed the trunk spoiler was – while I generally like most of the styling on my ’98 Altima, I felt the droopy trunk wasn’t very attractive. From the side view, the trunk-spoiler gives the rear body more of a straight line and reduces that droopy look.
nlpnt gave the #1 practical reason for my trunk-spoiler.
While it doesn’t significantly block my rear vision, it is just barely visible enough through the back window that I can tell where the rear of my car is when I’m backing up.
Mustang Rick gave practical reason #3.
With no handle on my trunk, the spoiler does give me more options for something to nudge or grab when I’m opening or closing it.
Practical reason #2 for my spoiler is it now provides a level area on the trunk to set boxes or packages, until I can get the rear door open to place them on the back seat.
Happy Motoring, Mark
Smoky grey/black plastic covers for taillights that render them and turn signals all but invisible in bright sunlight.
And while THIS look isn’t necessarily the result of a single accessory, the parts and labor that result in it seem like a colossal waste of resources to me.
Yes, this would absolutely be #1 on my list. I have VERY serious concerns about the drivability of said vehicle. Consequently, I question whether that should even be legal.
And, like you, I also have grave concerns in regards to heavily smoked or painted over taillights. Because a vehicle’s brake lights need to be easily seen so as to not rear-end the nearly invisible car at night. Will also say that in my opinion, a completely “murdered out” late model car for sale on craigslist is, IMHO, worth at most, about half of what the seller wants for said vehicle. More accurately, there is basically no price I’d pay for a murdered out car. Because it looks so devoid of any character – aside from being barely one notch above junkyard scrap – it looks prematurely like somebody’s modded, old beater on it’s last legs. I do understand that a younger persons opinion might vary a bit.
“I question whether that should even be legal.” A valid point. It makes me wonder if this sort of mod even is.
The tradition of modifiers flouting the law in order to make a style statement with their cars goes way back. It reminds me of the quote attributed to a NASCAR crew chief many years ago who said, “it’s only cheating if you get caught.”
The cops have been chasing down and ticketing hot rodders and customizers for equipment violations forever and said delinquents have been finding creative ways to get around the laws for just as long.
“I blacked out my taillights so they work less!”
HA! Conserving electricity, right?
the parts and labor that result in it seem like a colossal waste of resources to me.
Hasn’t that always been the case for customized cars? Was it really any different in the 50s and 60s? I don’t think being practical or efficient was ever really a part of the hobby.
I see those tilted wheels as the modern equivalent of the crazy shit Roth and the kids were doing back then. Maybe the whole idea is to…make old folks say it’s a waste of time and resources. 🙂
Crazy and impractical as those cars were they probably didn’t drive any worse than the typical bulgemobile of the 50s-60s, and certainly wouldn’t be wearing down the inside edge of the tires down to the belts in a thousand miles. Modifications back then had a genuine functionally progressive backbone to back them up, the wild styling was simply frosting on the cake.
The hellaflush look is part of that deconstructed art movement of making established things look twisted and broken. One could make the case that it’s an embellishment of negative camber in Motorsport for cornering grip, but the reality is that Lexus(or JDM Toyota?) isn’t inclined to lean at a 45° angle to get that tire’s contact patch planted firmly on the road. These cars were state of the art in terms of chassis engineering, but I’m fairly certain a 1973 Ford Galaxie would corner better than that example is currently set up for now.
I think both are tacky and tasteless at the end of the day mind you, but I’m an old soul. I thought kids were stupid when I was one 🙂
It’s kinda ironic when you consider the original purpose of modifying cars was to improve performance, not decrease it!
You make a very good point. Now, it seems so many people operate from a sort of “why be normal” perspective.
Sure, Paul. I don’t pretend to be anything close to objective about this. I LOVE Old Skool customs. To me, the main difference between them and whatever you call these cars with the extreme negative camber is that the radical customs built by Roth, Gene Winfield, Cushenberry, the Alexander brothers, etc., were never meant to be street driven. Aside from aesthetics, I can’t believe they don’t handle like pigs, wear out wheel bearings and other components at an alarming rate and thereby endanger all the rest of us upright citizens.
Having said all this, I realize that I might come off sounding like a cranky old fart which, at my age, I certainly tend to be from time to time. But I also haven’t forgotten the wild and crazy things we did with our cars in our youth and alternate between basking in the glow of fond memory and cringing at the level of stupidity that we occasionally achieved back then.
Before air bags and hydraulics cars were lowered like a set of GM blown air bags. With one inch of ground clearance the custom cars looked great, but it was extremely dangerous. One guy named Johnny was a friend of my sisters (ten years older than me) he had a custom 53 Olds 98 with Buick Roadmaster side trim, 53 Cad hubcaps, a 53 DeSoto grille in deep purple with pearl white roof and of course wide whites, it sat 1 1/2 inch off the ground, In those days not all rail crossings had lights. His car hung up on the tracks, he and his girlfriend died, after a couple more times of bad accidents because of the lowness, California initiated the law that no part of the car can be lower than the lowest part of the wheel rim. That wouldn’t work as well today.
Some of these silly fads are less annoying to me than others, but I dislike all of them. I don’t understand why anyone would want to express their individuality in the same exact way that everybody else in their group of peers does, whether it’s cutting up ’32 Fords, putting a fartcan on a Civic, fitting oversized blingy wheels on an Escalade, building a “tribute” SS car out of a perfectly good original Chevelle, or pretending exclusivity with a padded roof toupee on a Toyota. If I was born a couple of generations earlier, I’d probably be annoyed by raccoon tails and “23 Skidoo”.
I learned at a young age that “custom” is the most overused word in the English language… “oh you have a custom engine eh? How long did it take to construct that iron foundry in your garage?” And that striving to be Custom using these premade parts is less about expressing individuality than it is to win approval of a custom car subset, by following the template they set. Culture =/= individuality.
Many people by themselves may personalize their car without outside influence and completely be fulfilled by it, but then they get on a performance oriented internet car forum and suddenly you’re saving up for superchargers and throwing on lowering springs.
possibly the most bizarre and inexplicable mod is those ‘eyelashes’ glued above the headlights. be thankful the Japanese Bosozoku exhaust fad hasn’t taken hold here. you haters would go apoplectic over there. here’s a link to some real eye sandpaper. 100 grit.
http://pinktentacle.com/2010/07/bosozoku-style-rides/
After-market fender flares for 4×4’s that have pointed-stud fasteners that protrude around the radius of the wheel arches. Not only do they look dumb, but they are guaranteed to do extra damage in a collision, especially if said collision is with a pedestrian. I suppose the point may be to suggest a spiked-collar on a guard dog.
Not really a modification, but I have seen far too many older Ford trucks get re-sprayed two-tone paint jobs that follow the wrong body line. LMC’s 1980-1996 Ford parts catalogue seems to like putting them on the cover. Now get off my lawn!
Massive rims with thin spindly spokes on older cars. I know that people do it to put on bigger brakes or because finding tires in that size can be difficult, but sometimes they just do it to do it. It completely throws off the balance of the car, especially if it’s something big and bulky.
I’m all for this if the reasons are functional or practical, as you mention, but this has the look of a cheapskate who perused craigslist for the cheapest larger wheel that would bolt on.
…On the other hand maybe that actually fits with the stereotypical AMC owner theme lol
Saw a 65 Ambassador 2 door sedan at the Cops and Rodders Car Show in Tucson. 6 Cyl & completely stock looking but with some sort of suspension mod that dropped one side of the car while it was displayed.
A real WTF moment
Muscle cars with big wheels… well, any car with that. Definitely on top of my list.
Yes, I agree with both of you guys on the way-too-large tires and rims on an old car. Hate to possibly offend anybody but I don’t find that in any way cool. But, basically just saying that I would never do that even if I had the extra money to blow. So, what I’m saying is I think there’s better ways to spend your money on an older vehicle. I tend to most appreciate a car that’s as original as when it was new.
High on mine as well, BUT for this specific example I’m far happier to see it built this way than if it were orange, with vector wheels and a rebel flag on the roof! Ugh!