(first posted 3/15/2017) Human beings are hard-wired to recognize faces. This causes us to see faces even in places where there are none, whether it is on Mars or on cars.
I think we’re all familiar with various happy-faced cars, whether it is the congenial smile of modern Mazda products, or the classic toothy grin of Austin-Healy “bug eye” Sprite.
That’s not what we are here to talk about today. The Ides of March are upon us, I’m looking for the worst angry, scowling, menacing, and generally “bad hombre” looking car countenances you can find.
What’s eating you?
I’m looking for Dracula’s personal car, like the 2016 Chevrolet Malibu, or Hannibal Lechter’s personal ride, the 2005 Kia Optima pictures above.
So fire up those search engines, and lay it on me!
How about the Isuzu VehiCross?
The entire vehicle is both a caricature and a forerunner of what this market segment would devolve into. But I love the silver fangs!
Uh oh…
I know I may be in the minority but I’ve never liked the front end of the 1970 Ford Mustang’s, I wished the headlights were closer to the sides of the car.
+1! – of the two similar years of Mustangs, the 1969 looks MUCH nicer than the 1970!
I’ve always liked the front end of the 1969 Mustang’s and thought they’ve ruined the looks for the 1970 Mustang by not having the headlights close to the side of the car.
Agree on this one. Headlights mounted too far inboard seldom look good.
Always hated that year of Mustang with those useless scoops instead of headlights.
Is it my imagination but Honda got their frontend more chromed cars and CUV like the Civic and CRV than before?
Grandma, what big eyes you have!
Toyota, what are you doing to the formerly no-nonsense Corolla?
Looks like fat, bulging cheeks.
With that emblem drooping over the bumper, it reminds me of the ” Kilroy was here” cartoon drawing. The nose being the emblem.
As I’m going thru a British car phase at the mo, I’ll start with the “Fishface” Daimler SP250 (made even worse with the fanged bumper).
Tied with the 1960 Lea Francis Lynx, which looks terrible from any angle. Plus it was painted mauve, with gold-plated chrome. The East-German Wartburg in the background seems to look on with a grin, thinking “If zat is ze best you Britishers can do, we will bury you!”
As to American cars, much as I find many Exner designs give me an upset stomach, the worst of them all has to be this.
AUWM likened the Packard Hawk to a mutant catfish.
Many here find French cars weird-looking, and I suppose they are, but some are just terrible. My nomination (because the Ami 6 was already mentioned above), is the 1978 Citroen Visa. In France, these are called “groin de cochon” (pig snout)…
Wow. If you had covered the logo, I’d assume this was some Eastern-bloc car.
Well, if we’re looking in that direction, I’d nominate the 1969 Sachsenring P240 Repräsentant (only two made, fortunately, to commemorate the 20th anniversary of the GDR’s founding).
Reminds me of a baleen whale!
The Toyota Mirai.
The power of the dark side…
How has nobody mentioned the upside-down-face ’77-79 LeBaron yet?
https://i2.wp.com/www.curbsideclassic.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/02/1977-Chrysler-LeBaron.jpg
Those remind me of the facelifted, similarly “upside-down” first-generation Mountaineer’s face.
Eugh. I also don’t like how everything is separated off in its own little egg-crate compartment.
Lets not forget “Racoon Face”
The 2007-2009 Suzuki XL7 always reminded me of a raccoon as well.
1970 Mercury Cyclone GT – whassup with the gunsite nose?
Another Bunkie Beak
That’s where you mounted the exterior speaker for your CB radio.
Original (2006) SsangYong Rodius
As much as I dig these little toasters, that front end…
Here’s one from the opposite end: Chrysler 200S. That’s one sad butt.
I rather liked the 200. As for the 500L, probably the face is the least offensive thing about it. I looked at the 500, L and X at the Detroit show. Every one of them had glaring ergonomic issues that made me wonder what they were thinking.
The car guaranteed to preserve your celibacy… The Datsun B210 or 120y in ROW…
Not as scary as the F10 posted earlier.
The mid 70s Toyota Crown made an impression on me.
This Gp …
As It’s just This Gp, that made a duckface for the camera
BMW E46 3-series Coupe. It’s so weak and feeble. Doesn’t relate to any other BM past or present.
That’s actually the “BMW Compact” 3-door liftback. It was intentionally positioned as a more affordable model and lacked the more powerful engines of other E46 3-Series bodystyles. Therefore, it was intentionally less substantial. That said, I agree that the Compact, along with M-B’s W203 SportCoupe don’t really fit my mind of what BMWs or Mercedes are.
The regular E46 coupe looked much more substantial and from personal experience was still rather fun to drive, though I prefer the styling of its immediate E36 predecessor and E92 successor.
You’re right, I’d forgotten it had a different designation. Interesting idea, to change the car’s face so that your friends can be absolutely certain you’ve bought the cheapest model. Opposite to the long-established German “no badges” option, when no one (apart from the bufferati) knows what you’ve got under the bonnet.
I’ve also never liked the grille design on the 1972 full sized Chevy’s or the 1971-72 full sized Pontiac’s, while most front end’s of the 1973 vehicles are inferior to the front end’s of the previous years I’ve thought the 1973 front end of the full sized Chevy’s/Pontiac’s were an improvement over the 1972 front end’s.
There are a million cars that have a horrid face but for me the 2002 BMW 7 Series with its stupid “indicators on top” face is easily the worst styling feature of the past decade or so. incredibly BMW somehow made it worse with the 6 Series bottom feeder headlights.
IMO it’s easier to list the *successful* applications of turn signals above headlights. Apart from cars that blend everything into a single clear-lensed all-chrome-reflector unit, the mid ’70s Ford pickups are the only ones I can think of.
The 65 Ford Pickups also placed the turn signals above the headlights and it looked fine.
Agree that it’s hard to design a front end with indicators (turn signals) mounted above the headlights. But IMO, the 61 Chevy is another car that works in this respect.
The year this particular BMW was new, we happened to see it in a car shop in London, behind The Dorthester.
The dealer had kept it in a remote corner in the back, away from the display towards Park Lane.
And to think they did this after the superb balance and elegance of the E38.
This is my pick for the saddest looking front end ever put on a car.
A 59 Buick has to be the most angry looking car in the history of automobiles.
Sonic, Aveo, Equinox, Malibu, Trax as well any other Chevrolet from the previous range.
1960 Ford Galaxie has to be on the list somewhere…
AMC did not get much mention. Here’s a bug eyed Matador.
Oh come on! That looks positively brilliant compared to the 1977-79 Pacer (where they bulged the grille and hood upward to cover the optional V8).
Normally I’d probably agree but you managed to find the most flattering pic of a matador on the internet and I’m kinda liking it!
They were trying to copy the Monte Carlo’s headlight bulges that receded into the hood (obviously not successfully).
The facelifted Brazilian Simcas for 1967 looked unique in their akwardness and “what does this has to do with anytking” styling school.
Lincoln MKX. A grill for krill. Apparently inspired by the baleen whale.
1961 Ambassador. 74 Matador four door [the absolute worst year : electric shaver grille and bull’s eye turn indicators ]. 61 Rambler American. Curent Yaris
Sorry. Picture didn’t upload
Here
The weirdest thing about that face was it just didn’t fit the rest of the car. A bit of early ’60s weirdness on a stuck in the mid ’50s car.
My parents had a ’60 rambler 6, and seeing ’61 Ambassador would give me tummy aches,
I was 4
Could have been designed by Picasso.
Or maybe Salvatore Dali
I remember seeing this in a car magazine Dad had, and remember wondering why anybody made something so ugly. Sixty years later it still looks awful – like parts from about three different cars welded together.
Ironic that a picture of a Mirai appears just above the Comments section. Is it nominating itself? Smart car indeed.
This Hyundai Tiburon started ugly and then suffered from botched plastic surgery.
For me it is a tie between the 55-59 Chevy Task Force pickup and the 1960-1966 First Gen Chevy C/K pickup truck for the worst face. However to me the Task Force trucks are truly ugly. They have that stubby look to them that looks out of place.
By contrast the Chevy Advance Design that the Task Forced replaced was one of the most attractive truck design ever.
The 2nd gen C/K is a very attractive truck also.
“This Panhard convertible, which was exhibited just next to the wagon at the ’58 Paris Motor Show, was possibly even worse.”
Wow… what were they thinking? It does sort of remind of what AMC did when they stuffed a V8 in the Pacer (as far as the hood changes).The Daimler SP250 is worth a (dis)honorable mention too.
Heres my pick for meanest looking car. I always wanted one of these…
OK, I’ll bite…ugly car faces:
Current/recent:
2013-16 Honda CR-V: Duck-billed platypus with four wheels.
Current Toyota 4-Runner: Openings below headlights look like someone had their face slashed with a razor blade. Model with chrome bar looks like giant band-aid.
2004-07 Honda Accord: Homely beyond redemption.
Current Ram pickups w/o classic Dodge crosshair grille: Egads. One model looks like a bulldog, the other, like someone shot two holes in its face with a cannon.
Current Silverado: Some grills look like a chain-link fence…literally makes me ill to see. Other treatments make it look like it has the mumps.
2000 Ford Windstar: speaking of a vehicle with the mumps…most notable on highest trim level.
Current Lexus…ALL of them with that pinch grill. Design language becomes design violence.
2004 Malibu: Like a GM stylist projectile-vomited and they drew in it. Only the rear view of the Maxx looks halfways decent.
Current Honda Civic: The chrome bar in the grille looks like steer horns.
I think the Kia Optima pictured above is a 2002-2003. Sickening.
Ugliest in history:
Entire 1954 ChryCo line except DeSoto…what were they thinking?
1976 Matador 4-door: Jimmy Durante, after death, reinterpreted as a car.
1953 Chevrolet: 2004 Accord is the answer to the ’53 Chevy. (’54 was VAST improvement.)
1958-60 Lincoln: how to make an Edsel pretty by comparison.
1956-57 Hudson: V-line THIS, Edmund Anderson!
1958 Packard Hawk: Packard Tuna is more like it.
All Citroen Amis…every last one of them.
1978 AMC Concord: Oh, the horror!
1973 Chevelle: DOT-mandated battering rams ruin potentially attractive design.
1967-68 Plymouth Valiant: Another inspiration for 2004 Accord. AND at least two generations of Camry.
Surprised no one’s mentioned the Kaiser Darrin yet. That’s the original lemon-sucker of a grille ~
Any late model Lexus.
Am I really the only one to see the resemblance between the 2009 Dodge Nitro…
…and this?
Turn that frown upside down:
Which is the Beluga and which is the Infiniti?
This one?
Or this one?
This rodent looks like it’s about to build a dam
Those are some ugly cars!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
There was a ’94 Nissan Sentra in David Saunders’ Cuba trip pictures the other day that could be a relative of Mater from the Pixar movie “Cars”.
While I appreciate Cuban ingenuity, that car was just plain ugly…
The bland Fiat Strada/Ritmo nose, always left me feeling cold. Generic, much like the Rivian nose IMO.
`61 Rambler Ambassador
` 58 Buick
Pontiac Aztek, ’58 Edsel, ’58 Packard Hawk, ’59 Dodge, ’61 Plymouth, Citroen Ami, ’82 Ford EXP, 96-99 Ford Taurus and Sable, too many recent cars, SUVs, and trucks with monster grilles to cite just one; some foreign market Corollas and other bugeye cars, all cars with clown smiley faces like decade-old Mazdas or Lanham “car conversions”.
Or these Toyotas:
The 1996-1999 Ford Taurus.
Although one could argue that generation Sable was a decade too soon as opposed to outright disaster.
1976-77 Plymouth Grand Fury, I thought the single headlights did not look right on a full sized car, I like the 1974-75 dual headlights a lot better.
Has no one yet mentioned the EXP/LN7 twins with their sad eyes?