When I see someone rolling in a 460 cubic inch Lincoln Town Car I heartily approve, though I wonder why they didn’t just quit fooling around and go for the 500-inch Cadillac Eldorado. For myself I’ve always liked a lighter vehicle. I’m a frugal sort sometimes and I like some fuel economy. Which makes this giant heavy Expedition an anomaly in my modern car buying history.
I had been at my desk job for 3 or 4 years. Still had a Honda Civic, an Explorer and the White Truck. The Honda was an uncomfortable but reliable vehicle while the Explorer was finally getting a bit elderly. We had a major trip planned in the summer and had restarted some outdoor pursuits. I can’t for the life of me remember why we looked at an Expedition. Gas prices were high at the time so the prices on these were low and I figured since Expeditions were related to the Jellybean F-150s they must be mechanically robust. A local used car lot had this one and it drove like new with 180,000 kms on it. We picked it up from the used car dealer in the morning, did an errand or two and then hooked up the camper trailer and set off on our trip. In the first 15 minutes I had two thoughts. The first was “this is a fine way to pull a trailer.” The second was “wasn’t there 3/4 of a tank of fuel in this thing this morning?” The 5.4 Triton was fond of gasoline around town it seemed. The 3:23 to 1 gears at least made it efficient enough on the highway with the 4R100 transmission having an overdrive.
About an hour into the trip we came to realize that we had been doing car travel wrong all those years. Travelling in this oversized SUV was not unlike sitting in your living room on a comfy couch except you were wafting along the road with the little trailer not even noticeable behind. The whole trip was just exceptionally pleasant with twin air conditioners, huge legroom and comfy seats. When we got back and started to use the Expedition for family duties around town I noticed the fuel consumption again. Like it had a hole in the tank.
The Expedition had two things that annoyed me no end. The first was that the Auto 4WD only kicked in when the rears were spinning. Not when slowing down. The locked 4WD setting would make the front push out on corners. The rotary 4WD dial was always being twisted so the truck could do the right thing. There was no 2WD setting. I put studded winters on anyway but some kind of centre differential would have been preferable.
The second was the way it would shift down at the slightest provocation. A slight uphill in the road would be accompanied with a downshift to D from OD. It was quiet enough but I like to see less than 2000 RPM when I’m driving a truck. No real reason for it, I just find it more satisfying. Eventually, I started to associate it with burning more gas. The old White f-150 with its little 4.2 V6 was happy on the same slight rises in 5th. Of course it weighed a heck of a lot less. The Expedition seemed to be geared for 110 kms. and up.
I had been commuting 25 miles each way to work using the Honda Civic so it wasn’t costing too much. But I started to resent how much time I was losing to the commute plus I was sure I’d eventually hit an elk which is never a good idea in a Civic. This caused us to move closer to work and by the time we bought the Expedition we lived only a few miles from my office. An Expedition going 5 miles a day will use a lot less gas than a Honda Civic going 50 miles a day. I didn’t even insure the pickup all the time, if I needed to do a dirty job the Expedition could do it, particularly when I rented the trailer from Home Depot. Plus most days fuel was not really an issue with me at all.
I think I had only tangentially referred to cycling in previous COALS which is a bit of an underrepresentation of how important it is to me. Some years of my life I spent more hours on a bike than in a car. Certainly more hours than I spent doing yard work or finishing the house I suspect my wife would say. Anyway this was an interest that started early as my dad had cycled all over Britain and he made sure I rode a bike.
I started with CCMs and then moved on to Peugeots as my rides got longer. I owned the classic cycling (and used cars incidentally) movie Breaking Away on Laserdisc and would watch it often. It remains a favourite today. Cycling movies that aren’t about doping are a bit thin on the ground so lately I added the BMX movie RAD to the rotation as well. At University I had the pleasure of racing in a Little 500 event like the one in Breaking Away. My BMX career hasn’t taken off quite yet, but occasionally I’ll hit the BMX track on the way home from work.
Back when I was in my late teens some fellows in California went and invented the mountain bike and that spelled the end for my road riding. Once I was living in Vancouver I hit the North Shore when I could, but if not the University Endowment lands were still good riding back then. I have so many fond memories of pedaling to the liquor store for essential supplies or down around Stanley Park just to clear my head. The whole impetus for having those mini trucks in earlier COALS was as a way to get my bike to the trails. When I was near a mountain I’d ride up it. Or at least push up it. There were no 24 tooth chainrings in those days or 50 tooth cassettes.
I raced mountain bike when the sport was still pretty new and when Honda Civic wagons were more common.
And big old motorhomes roamed the land freely. They all kind of disappeared all at once it seems. Can’t say I’m that sad about it.
When we lived in Kerrisdale I commuted to UBC and then out to work in South Vancouver. I only got hit by one car while I was in the big city which seems lucky in retrospect. I do follow the rules of the road pretty well. Even I can’t really stand the way cyclists behave when I’m driving or walking. And that is not even thinking about e-bikes which I 100% support in theory, but am certainly not getting one anytime soon.
Once University was over, working in the bush all day had cut into my cycling time. After that period there was the matter of having two kids less than five and taking upgrading courses. I was doing more and more sitting at my new job. So, in order to save gas, get some head-clearing time and add some exercise I decided to commute every day by bicycle. There was a bike path from my house to nearly the office which was very lucky for me.
After commuting for a summer, it was still bothering me that I was going soft. A whole lot of my identity was tied to being able to handle all those challenging bush adventures, wearing Stanfields every day and doing physically difficult things. So as a poor and rather pathetic substitute for my past life, when winter came I put studded tires on the same bike I had commuted to University on 10 years before. I evolved to a $12 Araya bike found in a second-hand store and then built an ice bike special out of a Kona Dirt Jumper. I’m pretty sure I could natter on about bikes forever so I’ll fast forward this story up to my absolute favourite wheeled device of all time, a Rocky Mountain Blizzard fat bike. After a few rounds of component upgrading addressed some weaknesses this became my 12-month-a-year commuter, my adventure bike and even a metric century road rider. It’s been on the trails at Whistler, in the Yukon and many places in between. Of course it’s a ponderous, slow moving, heavy inefficient thing. Not unlike the Expedition in fact. And truth be told not that unlike me now.
All of this means that most of my adventures for a while only involved the Expedition in a side role, a way to transport a bike or two. Snowboarding, mountain biking and hiking.
Or even all three at once as seen below.
I always like to hit snow on Canada Day. The Fat Bike and Expedition combined to make it happen.
Getting back to the monster SUV which is the subject of this story. Toddlers grow up and become active little people with more places to go. A three-row SUV meant they could have a seat to themselves with plenty of dog room as well.
Of course with a bike rack the whole family could go for a bike ride.
Ski racing dominated our winters over this time and the Expedition was great for going to all the hills, as it easily swallowed all our gear and dealt with the snow confidently. As they got older I let my daughters drive it across fields when they were old enough to see over the hood but still too young to try and text and drive.
I started getting out farther into the backcountry again. I didn’t like the Expedition in the really rough places much. The weight was such an impediment. The rear coil suspension had a couple of attachment mounts that got hooked on everything. The rear articulation was nothing like the F150. It was easy enough to turn around and it would go where it was pointed, it just didn’t seem happy. It never broke as the driveline was sturdy in the 5.4 litre Expeditions. It would go through deep snow pretty impressively but other than that off road was not its forte.
I think we had this for 9 years. Over that time we used small cars and bikes to get around as much as possible. We only put about 60,000 miles on it in all that time It just kept on running. It needed an alternator. I know enough not to touch 5.4 Spark Plugs as long as they are still sparking so didn’t’t have that problem. It was a bit hard on brakes as well. After a trip to Washington State I noticed a weeping brake line. I had the brake lines changed out but started to have thoughts that I should maybe start looking for a replacement. We seemed to be driving more again and the fuel mileage was annoying as anything but steady state highway driving. I can’t say it was unloved, my wife absolutely loved this SUV.
If you are reading this Wednesday morning in North America, unless I’ve won the lotto or been fired, I’ve already ridden my bike to work and it didn’t matter what the weather was. I guarantee I enjoyed my ride since when I get on the Fat Bike I might as well be 6 years old again. I’ve made it to work at 30 below a few times and always appreciate the chance to hit a new cold weather record.
The Expedition was sold to a colleague who passed it around his family for the last 7 years or so. I hear it was getting a bit cranky in terms of misfires and the like. Two weeks ago it was “traded in” at a dealer for another vehicle. I figured it was heading to the scrap yard at last, but then I saw it a few days after with new plates and a new owner. I hope it serves them well.
Next week I go in a completely opposite direction.
In that most wonderful of satires, Gulliver’s Travels, the reader is taken on a series of quite marvellous journeys through unlikely places by the sea-captain narrator, including his final voyage to the land of the Houyhnhnms (who are like horses). Alas, by the end of the tales, one is returned to present times, and he has returned to live amongst those the Houyhnhnms call “Yahoos” – humans – in England, but is unhappy there. He spends most of his time in the stables, talking to his horses.
Thus it transpires that the entire book one has just read has been written by a stark-raving horse-talking looney. (It’s an unrivalled comic twist in literature, I think).
These most wondrous tales we’ve been told in this COAL series, of far-flung beauteous locales, and severe conditions of work and existence, of nature, of places and of people and a life and the odd car too, is now revealed to be written by one who is just the same. A bike ride at -30?! Why, indeed, a bike at all, in anything other +22c and upon flat terrain?! Not using a car as they are intended, ie: always and everywhere? Certifiable, say I. Sheer madness. Did not god invent the car licence to supplant our legs?
(But as it all so very enjoyable, may we have some more please, Mr Jograd sir?)
I never did know which end of the egg to crack.
Definitely living among the Yahoos some days.
Another excellent read, thanks Jograd.
I’ve heard the key to surviving an elk encounter in a Civic is to put your foot down and let momentum and the low wedge shape of the car carry you under the main bulk of the animal. In a taller vehicle the elk just comes straight through your windshield. Or maybe I’m thinking moose. Not that I’d want to try it myself.
Nice to see a large capable SUV put to such extensive use. Looks like it was the perfect vehicle for what you needed it to do.
Hats off to pedaling an older mountain bike up an actual mountain. That takes a lot of determination and stamina compared to the bikes of today.
An older guy (as in over 70) whom I know rides a fat bike regularly, even though we have no snow and not much soft soil. But he still races XC occasionally, and he says that when he gets on his hard tail race bike, it feels like a rocket compared to the fattie. So the fat bike is like weight training. Our fleet too is 2/3rd oriented towards hauling mountain bikes and getting outdoors; the third vehicle, our Golf received its only modifications when I installed a 2” receiver to fit our bike rack. We don’t use it much but the fuel savings on a few trips riding out of state paid for the hitch. I too used to commute quite a bit by bike when I was younger but even in coastal California I was mostly a fair weather rider. Nowadays my only road riding is to ride the 2-3 miles of neighborhood streets to get to our local singletrack from home.
I always look forward to Wednesday mornings…
I had something of an irrational and strong dislike for these Expeditions when they were new. They were the breakout big SUV; hugely popular. My problem was that 99% of their buyers were likely never to use their capabilities; it was just mostly a huge (literally) fad. And their driver tended to grossly overestimate what a 4WD SUV could (or couldn’t do). When we’d drive up to Willamette Pass to go skiing, almost inevitably the cars we’d see that had slid off the road (most often on the way back down) were Expeditions. No; 4WD will not magically make your vehicle stick to a hard packed snowy curve.
None of that applies to yours, obviously. It was used as intended.
Kudos on your dedicated bike riding. I’ve always enjoyed bike riding, but not remotely like you. I still ride the same Novarra (REI brand) Japanese road bike I bought new back in LA in 1979, although I upgraded it to 18 gears about 25 years ago. I’d kinda like to go to index shifting, but it works well enough for my brisk little jaunts on our bike paths and country roads.
I did have a mountain bike somewhat briefly; two, actually, for me and my older son. We rode a few trails and such, but both were eventually stolen from his high school because he would forget to lock them. Stephanie never rode, so it soon reverted back to hiking, which is our outdoor and exercise addiction.
You are in a whole different league. I’m feeling pretty soft; I don’t even take the bike out when its raining or “cold” here.
I had something of an irrational and strong dislike for this Expedition, usually at the gas pumps. Without good tires this would have been a handful on ice.
I still have one friction shifted bike. Sure easier to keep adjusted than a 1X11 or 1X12.
These Expeditions are great travel vehicles. My brother-in-law has a 2nd generation Expedition – it has over 200,000 mi. on it now, and he still uses it for a long-distance tow vehicle. The picture below (which bears some similarities to your 2nd picture here) is from a trip this year where they circumnavigated Lake Superior.
It’s a tough vehicle to replace so I bet he and his family will be hanging on to it for a few more years, or until rust forces them to do otherwise.
Another great story, what make is your little trailer?
My daughter lived in Kerrisdale this past summer for her work term. We like to complain about how expensive used vehicles are, but Kerrisdale houses are something else, yikes!
I wish I liked cycling more than I do. I gave up on mountain bikes and got a Dutch looking city bike, but because of my bum knee I use a swing shortener on one side, very ingenious device:
https://t-cycle.com/en-ca/products/easy-knees-pedal-swing-and-crank-shortener-kit
That is a 1976 Okanagan Model 1366 built in Penticton BC. Really not much heavier than a Boler. Didn’t exactly tax the Expedition as it is about 1300 lbs.
You know you’re a Canadian when biking at -30 below zero is just another day. Over the years I have met a few Viking bikers here in Minneapolis that commute year-round. From what I have heard fat tire bikes did revolutionize winter riding. The one time I rode a rigid frame fat tire bike it was a game changer but I had spent a ridiculous amount upgrading my full suspension bike I couldn’t justify the purchase. Breaking Away is in my top ten underdog movies. My favorite scene is when Dave is drafting the Cinzano semi truck and the driver gets popped by a Smokey.
Go Cutters!!
Definitely a good scene. I also like how his friends support his cycling with the bike tied on the old jacked up Skylark. Plus the refund scene.
It’s staggering how much money these bikes take to keep running now. An F150 hub assembly is a lot cheaper than a Hope Fatsno.
Breaking Away is a well-known local favorite, having been filmed in and around Bloomington, Indiana. Two of my three kids went to IU, and we know that area quite well now. I will confess that the bicycling bug never bit me again after I got my driver’s license.
I never fell in love with these. First, they always seemed the wrong size – between a Tahoe and a Suburban, and a market segment I never really could see. Living with a big Club Wagon reinforced it – these were just too damned small. Then when they got older, the ones around here were always priced suspiciously low, while Suburbans always commanded top dollar. I came to the conclusion that there must be a reason for the discounted price and stayed away. Now a newer Expedition EL might be something I could love.
Not only a good well told story that involves family but you explained why “fat bikes” are so popular now ‘feel like a 6 year old’ is pretty serious praise .
-Nate