VW-itis (noun)
An automotive affliction, originally derived from the Latin: tibi (you) horrendum (have horrible) gustus (taste) in curruss (cars). Characterized by delusions of grandeur, an unchecked willingness to repeatedly empty one’s wallet, and recurring bouts of existential frustration.
It all started with Hot Wheels and Legos, of course.
Just like so many of you, as a child, I could name makes and models of cars effortlessly and accurately. My parents acknowledged that this was a unique skill, but one I was unlikely going to be able to exploit for any purpose in the Real World. I had a bucket of rusty die cast cars of all sorts, though my favorites were a pair of two-toned Vanagons; one had an aqua and navy blue paint scheme, the other was orange and tan. Both had little Westfalia style tops that popped up, and impressions of little road bikes stamped onto the back.
Growing up in California, I’d often see the real things, loaded up and chugging slowly along the road, and I would wonder about their drivers. Where were they going? On the highway of life, these drivers seemed to be in no great hurry. And they were cruising along in tiny, portable adventure machines! Even the daffy, eight year-old me could tell that RVs were bloated road hogs for old farts on a last hurrah, but these – now these – I could imagine driving one day.
Last winter, when rummaging through the miscellanea collecting dust in my parents’ attic, I came across a Lego rendering of what could only be taken for a VW Eurovan (T4 to those outside USA). It looks like a juvenile me took some kind of Lego vehicle kit and went rogue with it (I was and remain the kind of guy to toss the manual away).
By the time I was a teen, van culture was long dead – in rigor mortis, even. The shagadelic cool of the Mystery Machine and the muscular mojo of Mr T.’s Vandura had given way to a stereotype of pedophiles and the destitute living in stinky, sleazebag relics of a bygone era.
When I reached motoring age, none of my peers would have been caught dead in a van. All of the custom conversion vans with their wall-to-wall Day-Glo carpeting, miles of yachty wood, captain’s chairs, and TVs became instant pariahs.
And yet the VW vans remained (then and now) a cult fetish worshipped by two discernable but often overlapping groups: Hippies and Adventurists.
Later, in my twenties, two older Boomer buddies of mine had camper vans, and they stoked the fires of desire in me. One friend would take his on camping trips, to outdoor concerts, to the Grand Canyon, etc. The inside of his van was decked out with all the psychedelic paraphernalia of a Hippie love shack. What quintessentially American freedom, I imagined, to spend the day kayaking or hiking, and then pull off the road, recline on your bed, pop a cold one and put your arm around your girl. The other buddy was perpetually taking off for jaunts across the contiguous US on beer safaris. He would come back after a summer of travelling with a cooler full of exotic beers and would occasionally share them with me, telling about the experiences he had while on the road: “Now this one came from a small brewery operated out of a converted three car garage about twenty miles east of Missoula.” Yes, it’s no wonder I was smitten with the idea of owning my own van one day.
Now I’m not what you’d call terribly mechanically savvy. I never took an autoshop class or had a father figure to show me how to work on cars. All the work I’ve ever done was borne out of necessity, or because I was too broke or cheap to pay a mechanic. After a series of smaller cars and wagons that weren’t cutting it when loaded with wife, dog, and all our crap (and after an aborted relationship with a Dodge Horizon van), I reckoned with my chronic case of VW-itis and the fact that nothing but a VW was going to do. I figured that with my dubious skills to fix a broken or gradually breaking one, that a VW Bus or Vanagon was out. I therefore zeroed in on the late model Eurovans (made until 2003 here in the US), reasoning idiotically that they were still new enough that they might perform well for some years to come.
Eurovans are very odd and fairly rare vehicles. In fact, I’m going to venture to guess that some of you looked at the first photo of this article and thought, “What the hell is that?” The late model ones were sold from 1999-2003, and they’re funky enough that some mechanics will flat out refuse to work on them. (Ask me how I know). Being a mechanic or having a good one is a must, as nothing is easy or intuitive on these vans; everything is covered, hermetically sealed, or idiosyncratic. Additionally, the automatic transmissions are considered to be ticking time bombs and cost somewhere in the neighborhood or $6-7k to replace. Only a fool like myself would buy one that hasn’t already had the transmission swapped out or rebuilt.
The one I ended up buying came from Santa Cruz, originally by way of Milwaukee. It’s a 2002 Eurovan Multivan (MV), which means it is the lite camper version: it has a bed and a table, but no poptop or fridge.
Out here in the Pacific Northwest, the poptop Westfalias are considered the Holy Grail. Add a poptop and the worth of the van skyrockets $10k – no kidding. Aside from its water cooled nature, what sets the Eurovan apart from its predecessors is its front mounted 2.8 VR6 engine, giving it adequate acceleration and passing power. In periods where the van has been trouble free, driving it is a joy. Fahrvergnügen!
The interior is comfortable and well thought out; the dash is logical and modern for its time, and the shorter wheelbase (compared to the full-on campers) makes the van pretty easy to park. The van does have a pretty low ground clearance, and most people who adventure off road with them raise them up more than a little bit.
The van’s Wisconsin origins meant it had some tin worm, but nothing I thought I couldn’t handle with an angle grinder. A test drive confirmed that it ran and drove, but not too much else. I donned my rose colored glasses, muzzled my inner-accountant, and ignored one defect after another. Van has rust? Probably not cancerous. Brakes squeaking? No problem – likely just needs a new set of shoes. Windows and door locks not working? Probably just a fuse like the owner suggested (but if it’s such a simple fix, why didn’t he do it himself??) Needs new tie rods? What old VW doesn’t? Windshield wipers don’t work – who needs ‘em, this is California. This, my friends, is what we call congenital VW-Itis. In hindsight, it’s a shocker that the van made it without incident back to my house.
During that first month of infatuation, I set about getting rid of the rust and making some minor repairs. During this time, I did a deep interior and exterior cleaning, replaced the 6-disc CD player (previous owner said he had no idea if it worked or not – of course it didn’t), and soldered the cracked and broken wires responsible for the loss of power windows and mirrors. Taking apart the wiper motor and tinkering with the contacts got the wipers running again.
Although I did a few things myself, there were limitations to my abilities. In truth, I had only the vaguest suspicions of how deeply this van would nickel and dime me. After a substantial investment to get the van roadworthy, I boldly set off from the Bay Area, headed for LA. It took less than 100 miles before the van started breaking down. In Soledad, after a brief respite, the van cranked but wouldn’t catch.
After a few minutes, I tried again and the engine started reluctantly on the third try. A shop in San Luis Obispo gave me a poor and misguided diagnosis, and with a lighter wallet and the van still unfixed, I continued my lugubrious descent into the bowels of hell (LA). After dark, in a seedy looking parking lot in front of a Burger King in Ventura, the engine started misfiring and the check engine light came on. Nevertheless, I had no real choice but to keep going. I got a whanger of a headache and drove white-knuckled through the gauntlet of the LA megaslopolis, flogging the ailing van some 100 miles more to my folks’ house.
When I went out to start the van the next morning, it was stone dead. No cranking, no clicking, no nothing. My mother shook her head and told me to junk the van immediately. “You don’t understand Mom,” I whined inanely, “It’s not just any van, it’s a VW camper van!” AAA came down to tow the van, but their driver, (who was obviously much more mechanically savvy than yours truly), looked into the engine bay and had an inspiration. Reaching in deep and smacking the starter with a tire iron while I attempted to engage it, he got the van to start. A few days later, I babied the van back home, where it sat in the driveway for the next few months, waiting for my wallet to catch up with its voracious appetite.
In a bout of anger-fueled, uncharacteristic pragmatism, I put the van up for sale, but I just couldn’t bring myself to sell it. I waffled and pulled the ad, rationalizing (as always) that the van could really be just one more repair away from running like a top.
Here’s how this COAL ends, and hopefully it’s a different ending from what you were suspecting: I didn’t jettison the van and then spend the next several years pining with regret for the one that got away. I didn’t fix it up only to crash it or have it suffer some catastrophic ending. Alas, the van is sitting in the driveway, right now, waiting for the next adventure. Fixed for now, it just did a nice 400-mile round trip down to Central California, and after changing out the spark plugs and starter, it looks ready for the trip I have planned to Yosemite this month.
Why do I bother driving a van that at times gives me a massive headache and is unreliable? It’s difficult to answer that cleanly or rationally. When it comes to old V-dubs, it’s not about rationality; it’s about the heart, as anyone who’s owned one will attest to. Sadly, we never got the T5 or T6 in the US, and there are a few folks rallying for VW to bring them out here, but probably not enough to make it happen. In the meantime, there is nothing new out here in the US that is like one of these; there is no substitute. Forget about the Ram Pro Master or the Dodge Sprinter or any RV for that matter. To me (and I know not all will agree), those are too big, too ugly, and lacking that special je ne sais quoi of an old VW. Yes, It has some flaws, but I love my old wayward bus. It’s a true Curbside Classic!
‘Why do I bother driving a van that at times gives me a massive headache and is unreliable? It’s difficult to answer that cleanly or rationally.’
My parents and their friends asked the same thing about me and my first car, Alfa Romeo 1750A Berlina. Despite its precarious appetite for cold, hard cash like those high maintenance Italian mistresses, I refused to part with the car for something more realistic…
I understand. Most of us car nuts feel that way about our first car, pedigree or not.
Oh god it’s an automatic? My sympathies.
From a European perspective these – in manual form – can be fine, but “ticking time bomb” as you put it doesn’t do the automatics justice. Some friends down south with a large family bought one to haul their brood and went for an automatic because it was going cheap, they then poured the cost of at least two decent second hand Zafiras (a small 7 seater which would have done the job) into trying to keep it running before giving up and selling it for scrap.
I really sympathise with the woes of needing a specialist mechanic and not being able to find one (never get your Saab serviced in rural Lanarkshire, and *never* let a common-or-garden Edinburgh grease monkey under the hood of your oddball 5-cyl turbocharged italian… ask me how I know). But you’re in California so if a decent specialist exists anywhere that side of the pond you’re in the right state surely? And specialist doesn’t have to mean pricey, just knowledgable about the relevant stuff.
If you can find a good mechanic (and you might) maybe a manual conversion would be worth spending the next chunk of cash on? Or a move to Europe where one of these wouldn’t necessarily spell fiscal doom. 😀
I hope you can make it work, and thanks for the excellent read.
I can tell you that even here in Austria a bad V6/auto T4 – if you can find one – would not be cheap to repair, even if parts can still be obtained from any VW dealer. Those were rare when new – it made very little sense to opt for anything but the 5-cyl. diesel, in turbocharged and non-turbocharged versions. Automatics back then were things most Europeans avoided. The diesels – very popular here – are a completely different breed, and when properly maintained are known to last for more than 300,000 Km with no major issues (particularly the non-turbocharged ones). But I’d grant anyone that even the base models require more knowledge and special tools to maintain than would be needed, for example, for the equivalent diesel Chrysler Voyager (which we used to have too). The basic 5-cyl, with all of 78 hp, is however very s-l-o-w. I have a few Austria-UK trips under my belt and the drive through Germany seemed like I was trapped in some time loop, it seemed to never end (fully loaded we managed 55 MPH, not as dangerous on the Autobahn as might have been because we drove during the night).
But owning one in the US? Hmmm…
That Lego-van…priceless!
Scottn59c writes “Now I’m not what you’d call terribly mechanically savvy…”.
Two thoughts came to me:
1. Well, you’re gonna be, and
2. You can sure do good rust repairs.
Nice read, thank you.
+1 on the rust repairs. I never managed such a good paint match,
Oh, I understand the feeling. It’s called a 1983 Yamaha Venture Royale (for those of you not into motorcycles, it’s Yamaha’s answer to the four cylinder Honda Gold Wing back in the early ’80’s) that was given to me free (which should have been a warning) a bit shy of three years ago.
The plan was to have an ‘inexpensive vintage dresser’ for long distance trips. Well, I’ve gotten the last two words, anyhow. And it’s still got enough bugs to drive one nuts.
And with my recent purchase of a new Honda Gold Wing, it’s completely redundant and listed on Richmond Craigslist. To the sound of chirping crickets.
And I still love riding the damned bike.
Oh, I am so guilty on the VW thing. But driving home from work yesterday, doing 60mph with my elbow out the window I had a big smile. Now today another order to Wolfsburg West.
Syke I think you’re screwed on the Venture. Nobody wants an old bike, there’s already a glut of 2000-2010 models available so why would anyone bother with something older?
I’ve tried to sell my 1993 Concours, but it’s worthless so I’m going to use the tires up then basically give it away.
60 mph! Easy there. 🙂
60mph is like ramming speed on the old ar cooled VW vans.
How do you say “Ramming speed!” in German? Rammende Geschwindigkeit!
Doug has a Beetle, not an old van.
So there I was, driving along at 55mph when I thought “Paul Niedermeyer is going to make fun of me if I’m not getting 34mpg while doing 72mph”
So I inched it up to 60, still not good enough. I’ll make you proud someday Paul, just a bit more sorting…
A friend just made a nice bobber out of an old VS1400, but maybe Suzukis are different.
Too often, we read or hear stories about these money-pits that paint a picture they just can’t live up to. Thank you Scottn59c for giving it to us straight!
I will never understand VW love, the damn things are just plain JUNK. Always have been, always will be.
Thank you for your balanced opinion. Your contribution is priceless.
Hiding this excellent piece from my wife. Forever.
Um…wives know. The less you tell the more they know.
This saga is too real, and the chosen ones don’t have the control they believe. And being aware of the situation only alters the pain level but not the direction.
I subscribe to the idea that if anything worked once it must be able to be made to work again. Time and again I’m defeated. There must be some loss of magicky pixie dust when a component is opened
Scary and compelling article. Now put that mirror down!
I did a quick search to see what one of these would run me in Denmark. 20,000+ USD with between 100,000 and 300,000 miles on them. A new one is around 100k USD. So much for that dream. But thanks for making me dream while it lasted.
Oh, how I can relate to the “itis”. After a string of 80’s vintage VW’s in the late 80’s and early 90’s I finally parted with the last one (an ’89 Jetta Wolfsburg) when after 18 months I’d sunk more into it than I’d paid for it, making my $3500 commuter a nearly $7000 piece of lawn sculpture. When the Eurovan came on the scene I was raising small children and of course had a hankering for one. Fortunately a Nissan Quest was the answer to the need for a minivan, saving me a lot of heartache I’m sure. The only family I ever knew who owned a Eurovan were hippie type folks who sent their kids to the same “alternative” school that my ex-wife insisted our kids go to. This must have been no later than 2003, and theirs was inoperative in a side yard, being used as a kid’s playhouse while it awaited some unknown repair. Knowing now that it must not have been more than 3 years old, I’m feeling better about not giving in to my lust for one. But I’m glad to see someone enjoying this one and actually having fairly good (knocks wood) luck with it.
What a great morning read! And I used to think that my case of Battered Mopar Owner Syndrome was bad. 🙂 It is a terrible thing when a man’s mad, passionate love for his car is rewarded with nothing but haughty abuse.
I remember when these were new and I was really intrigued. But boy oh boy, were they expensive! Either an American/Japanese mini or big van could be had for much less. I knew a family where our kids went to school who bought one new. I always wondered why, but they kept it for a long time. I never heard any horror stories, but then I didn’t know they well enough.
I know know how fortunate I was to eject from VW ownership at the end of the warranty on my 85 GTI. I really liked the car but was not committed enough to endure the kinds of things you have.
Well, you’ve got me checking Craigslist…
The holy grail for these seems to be Boise, ID judging by the quantity of them I saw while wandering around the North End last year.
Thank you for an excellent read and a great journey without actually physically going anywhere. In regard to the VWitis, you are not alone, my brother. Not even close…
VW’s look soooo . . . right. They satisfy the inner engineer, the rational mind. Hence, when they turn out to be so wrong, our minds can’t deal with it.
Love your writing style.
P.S.: if there is that much corrosion on the OUTSIDE I hope you will immediately crawl underneath and take stock of the UNDERSIDE. Vehicles generally rust from the inside out.
Great explanation of VW fever. They seem to be engineered so well and, when all systems are operating correctly, I guess it’s close to automotive nirvana. Then there’s the whole lifestyle marketing thing. VW ranks in the same category as Harley-Davidson and Jeep in how the brand is perceived.
But, man, the horror stories, of not only VW, but German cars, in general.
+1, particularly “…they SEEM so well engineered..”; they do. My experience of BMW quality was a long way short of the delightful drive it offered. BTW, Jeep sells OK in Australia, but has a name in the car industry so dire that there are dealers who literally refuse to trade them in.
There is a new model equivalent to this on sale: the Mercedes Metris. I own one, and I love it.
Are they importing the pop-top version of the Metris to the US yet, or is it still Euro only?
Not yet, but several companies are doing approved conversions.
Any names? US or Canada? I know that Canadians are much more into the smaller RV/camper thing so can see the pop-top Metris being available there, but not so much in the US. I don’t quite understand it, but maybe it has to do with how the Eurovan pop-top market dwindled towards the end of its availability in the US. Perhaps a CC on a current version of the Metris pop-top might be in order.
The current generations face to face.
VWs seem to inspire a special amount of irrational enthusiasm. It’s never infected me, but I’ve been staying vigilant. (My last time out used car shopping, the letter-perfect vehicle for my needs would have been a Golf Sportwagon, but the idea of a used VW frightened me enough that I refused to even look for on.)
Just bought a 2015 Sportwagen Trendline (base version) with the 5-spd manual. Runs like a charm… for the one week I’ve had it. Purchased from former dealership employee with lots of warranty left. Pls cross your fingers for me. 🙂
I sympathize with your -itis (iltis?). My fine wife irrationally would have an air cooled Westphalia if the budget allowed….probably I would also. There was a brief time when I would have considered your van, also. Thank goodness for a slim wallet sometimes.
Scott, dumb question- is the title of this article a Magnetic Fields reference?
(Also, nice article!)
It’s actually a Steinbeck reference. The Wayward Bus is a novel about a group of strangers who by coincidence end up on the same bus taking a trip through California. Originally titled “El Camión Vacilador,” Steinbeck describes in Travels With Charley how “vacilando” means to go somewhere with a destination in mind, but to not fret about how you get there. I always understood it as a spiritual concept: being in the moment of the journey rather than obsessing over the destination. It’s a good metaphor for a van that gets me where I want to go, but not always in the way I imagined.
Scott, thanks for the info. I think I have another book to add to the reading list now…
Great piece, and very nicely written. I left a comment under Paul’s recent post about Eugene stereotypes the other day regarding my short affair with an alluring, dishonest T3. That expensive tale did end with an angry and broken sale – I don’t have your nerve (perhaps because I had in 9 months spent nearly as much on it as paid for it). The T4’s were bought in Australia in large numbers by the national Telco, and quickly developed an appalling name, but I am astonished to read here that the same poor name exists in Europe too. Though because of the VW-itis you mention I still look at ads for T4’s – I am not cured – my question is, is it VW marketing that is so effective which has saved them from foundering, despite their consistent selling of fundamentally flawed vehicles? And why is this giant from the hugely successful German car industry unable to produce anything like Toyota quality (actual, not perceived), particularly in this commercial van segment where reliability is everything?
Funny you mention “Toyota quality in the commercial van segment”. Their latest entry, the Toyota Proace van, is actually a 100% French PSA product.
Hah, the badge-engineering game catches me out! As a curiosity, does that PSA product have a reasonable name in Europe? They have a poor name here – my experience of a 207 unfortunately bore that out, though ofcourse I still liked it – and are a tiny player (I suppose rather like a Holden would be in Europe).
Have a look here:
https://www.curbsideclassic.com/cc-global/cc-global-2017-toyota-proace-compact-and-toyota-c-hr-their-newest-entries/
French mid-size FWD panel vans, so both from Renault and PSA, do have a good name. Historically the French are renowned for developing and building this type of commercial vehicles with relatively small diesel engines (4-cylinders, 1.6 and 2.0 liter displacement).
Speaking of badge-engineering, the mid-size Renault Trafic panel van is also available as an Opel/Vauxhall, a Nissan and a Fiat. And the Renault Kangoo (a small van) is also available as a Mercedes-Benz…
Awesome read
From what I can see VW actually sells a new version of the camper in Germany called the California with several trim lines, like the Beach, the Ocean, the Coast. Looks quite nice. I wonder why we can’t have that here. Or if there’s any way you could buy one there and bring it back.
VW has decided that a camper is not profitable in the USA. Beyond a tiny niche market, there is just not enough demand for small campers like these; most Americans ascribe to the “bigger is better” idea and opt for larger RVs. As for bringing a new German T6 over, there are import laws that ban the sale of imported cars newer than 25 years old.
Apparently not available in Canada or Mexico either. Unfortunate. We’d love something like this . The Sprinter/Transit camper vans are much too big for us. Not to mention expensive. In our area they’re over $100K
Here’s a link: http://en.volkswagen.com/en/models/california.html
My sister had one of these – with the Westphalia pop-top. Kept it all of about 6 months.
Both she and husband found the driving position – specifically, how the driver’s foot met the accelerator pedal – unbearable for long drives.
They hated that one aspect of the vehicle so much they sold it.
Fantastic post. Wish I had read it before I caught the VW bug again and purchased a 1999 EuroVan MV with 240,000 miles. (“It’s a bargain!” I told myself.)
It’s also sitting in the driveway, awaiting new timing chains (yes, two of them) and a misfire diagnosis/repair.
i have vw-itis, too. i scan ebay constantly looking for pop top weekender examples selling for $17k or less.
my daughter is 12. my insane plan is to purchase one of these and fix it up to be reliable enough to drive with her out west (i’m in nyc) for camping when she is 15. i haven’t told my wife. i’m not well versed in automotive repair and have no place to park it, let alone work on it.
somebody please shoot me!