Morris Marina van being cross-polinated via Holden Commodore/Gemini hub caps. Author photo.
Jeerision. Don’t you love that word? I just made it up – it’s a mash-up of ‘jeers’ and ‘derision’. Cool, huh? Curbside Classic’s regular listeners will know I often invent words, I find it quite a splendacious (not made up) past-time. To invent words though, one needs a suitable trigger, something with above-adequate provocationatorialistic (made up) quintessence (not made up). In this case, the motivation for jeerision is two other words: Morris and Marina. Morris…Marina… Never before in the history of mankind have two seemingly innocuous words produced such a cacophony of what can only be termed jeerision. Yet perhaps not all Marinas deserve to marinate in their own gearbox fluid. Some are worthy of death-by-piano, but what happens when there’s a handy dose of practical vannage or utility added to the Marina recipe? Still jeerisionary? Let’s see.
Marina Range. Image courtesy Hooniverse.
Morris Marina, aka ADO28, born 27 April 1971 to proud indifferent parents British Motor Holdings and Leyland Motors. Little Morris came into a world that didn’t really understand him. He had to compete with his frumpy sister Allegro for attention, and to his add further to his awkward adolescence, he wasn’t the same size as the other cars! He was a little bigger (oxymoron alert!) than Ford’s Escort but largely smaller (double-oxymoron award!) than Ford’s Cortina. But little-big Morris actually had a larger family than most competitors.
Author photo.
The Marina family members that everyone remembers are the sedan, wagon and coupe. Roger Carr covered the rise and fall disintegration of those here. But Roger’s fine article didn’t mention the Marina’s pièce de résistance, the icing on the cake, the sh!t on the shovel…yes gentle viewers, in addition to the more common body types, BL also blessed the Marina with utility and van variants!
Author photo.
These commercial Marinas weren’t as unexpected as they sound, as one of the myriad idiosyncrasies of British motoring is the variety of small-medium family cars that were also offered in commercial body form.
Photo from Google.
Here’s one of the Marina’s ancestors; a 1956 Austin A30 van.
Photo courtesy Trade Me.
How about this 1960 Morris Oxford?
Photo courtesy Trade Me.
If the Oxford doesn’t rock your world, there’s its close relative, this 1963 Austin A60.
Photo courtesy Trade Me.
The Marina van’s immediate predecessor was the Morris Minor van…
Photo courtesy Trade Me.
…and ute.
Photo courtesy Trade Me.
Of course British-Austin-Leyland-Motor-Holdings-Company-Thing-Rover-Bob weren’t the only British manufacturer turning their family cars into vans and utes; other companies followed suit. Ford offered van versions of the Escort, including the MkI (L) and MkII (R).
Photo courtesy Google.
In fact there was an Escort van right up to and including the final Mk VII series.
The current Focus-based Transit Connect continues the Marina van’s concept.
Photo courtesy aronline.co.uk.
The Marina itself was succeeded by the Austin Maestro van. The former landlord for my former employer rallied what appeared to be a Maestro van, which to all intents and purposes was a normal (is there such a thing!) Maestro. I conducted a closer inspection of it one day and discovered that it was registered as a 1989 Nissan Bluebird Attessa 4wd turbo! And the interior was the Bluebird interior! Further examination proved it to be a Bluebird with the top cut off and Maestro van panels fitted. The world’s fastest Maestro no doubt!
Author photo.
But back to the Marina van, was it jeerisionary or useful? Going by the photo above, it certainly wasn’t something you’d want to crash in! Standards have certainly moved on dramatically!
Nifty colour-coded seat-covers and bed-spread. Author photo.
Torsional rigidity, what’s that? And we don’t need no stinking crash protection, we’re in a van dammit!! Hysterically-poor crash-safety aside, the Marina sure had reasonable space inside it. I wonder how many got dented side panels because over-eager owners over-packed them inside?
Author photo.
As well as no crash protection, the Marina van also offered an exhaustive selection of many other omissions: comfort, style, substance, quality, class… You name it, and it’d be missing!
Author photo.
Not even fluffy dice can hide the fact that the Marina’s interior was one of the most basic on a (comparatively) modern vehicle. I mean who really needs a glovebox lid anyway? Puh-lease! “And”, said Austin, “We’ll remove the dashboard air vents and put big round plastic things there so the purchasers know they’ve been cheap.”
Author photo.
Having said that though, I’ve never minded the Marina’s face; it’s bland and reminiscent of the MkII Ford Escort, but isn’t heinously ugly.
Author photo.
A little bland but a (very) little subtle detailing is present.
Author photo.
Little Morris proudly displays his family crest!
…and his school ID number!
Author photo.
So there we have it, the vantastic Morris Marina van. Vantastic or Jeerisioinary? On the balance of things, its commercial appeal was undoubted to small businesses and the likes of Telecom; they certainly sold well enough in New Zealand. But good sales don’t maketh the van good, and despite the handy extra dosage of space, the Marina van retained everything (engines, gearboxes, suspension, build quality…) that made the rest of the range Not Very Good. Practical vannage or not, the Marina van/utes weren’t enough to raise the Marina’s fortunes.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uhr-Zi4ozng
The remaining Marina vans aren’t quite big enough to carry a piano, so the only way to get a piano inside them will be for Top Gear piano to drop by. As a pianist I’ll be sorry for the piano; as a motoring enthusiast, the van just fills me with jeerision.
No Marina variant deserves a place on a site called “Curbside Classics”.
One of the most cynical things BL ever did.
Did Sir Alec Issigonis ever comment on the Marina? After all, he developed the chassis – back in the 1940s.
The Morris Minor had a separate chassis, the Marina one of the most cynically cheap unibodies ever put into production. I doubt the suspension mounting point for the upper wishbone was in the same relationship to the lower arm either. Marina’s outside front wheel exhibited ridiculous negative camber in mild turns, and the heavy B Series cast iron lump made that version an even worse handler than the ones with the A Series engine.
Issigonis left BLMC in disgust in 1971, about the time the Marina came out, after having been demoted two years earlier. Probably answers your question.
No, actually the Morris Minor was a unibody, or an “almost-unibody”. Portions of the front “frame” might not technically be considered part of a true unibody, but that’s not uncommon. But it didn’t have a separate frame.and that was one of the Minor’s claim to fame.
That’s actually very similar to the A and B body Mopars in the 60s – Unibody from the firewall back but with somewhat conventional frame rails up front welded to the midsection of the floor. Even has torsion bars.
“He was a little bigger (oxymoron alert!) than Ford’s Escort but largely smaller (double-oxymoron award!) than Ford’s Cortina.”
This made my head spin. Great line! Very salutatioulis.
Salutatioulis? Fabuliscious!
Very cromulent description of the embiggened Marina.
Damnit! I thought of using cromulent but the embiggen reference didn’t occur to me. Well played.
There’s a Simpsons quote for everyth-ooo, donuts!
And I’m not easily impressed. OOOh! A blue car!
The Escort had MORE body styles than the Marina, though the “convertible” Escorts weren’t factory produced models being Crayford conversions.
The Marina was the equal of the contemporary Hillman/Sunbeam, I suppose, until you took a good look at “the oily bits”. Really? An OHV engine? Lever shock absorbers….in the 70s?
Meanwhile, Nissan was offering the 510, in the U.S. (other markets got a different spec), with an OHC engine and independent rear suspension.
And yet, the styling LOOKED harmless/inoffensive aside from “suffering” with wheels/tires that looked lost in their wheelwells.
Before they rusted into oblivion, I thought a 2 door with a hotter engine and wider wheels/tires might not be so bad.
The Marina has factory coupe, sedan, wagon, ute and van variants; its MkI/II Escort contemporaries didn’t have a ute variant.
More Morose Mariners!
Marvellously manky!
I, for one, applaudify your neologistic tendencies. A few Marinas made it over the pond to America, (badged as Austins), but I don’t think I’ve ever seen one in the metal. There can’t be too many of them left anywhere, thanks in no small part to the aforementioned Mr. Clarkson.
I’ve seen a Minor Ute in the flesh right here in the Middle West (pre-CC days, otherwise, I’d have a photo), and it was not in a car show, either.
As for pianos, I can validate that our Routan can carry a spinnet layed on its back. Getting it *in* the van was a bit of a challenge, tho.
There’s something about this little van that’s strangely captivating to me. Perhaps its open glove box reminds me of my ’71 Vega a bit.
Yes, Marinas were sold here, as a sort of grand finale blowout to Austin’s long and steady demise. And to think that Austin was once the number one selling import brand in the US!
The oxford vans were actually badged Cowley and used a smaller engine than the sedans.
Nice article Scott. I’m not sure if the van or ute were sold in Australia, or the wagon. I’ll have to keep my eye out for the locally built 6-cyl Marina that was supposedly the worst of all the local “stuff a 6-cyl in a car never designed for it” efforts.
GMH got away with doing that to a Viva then the Ascona so everyone had a go not always with success.
Nope. Not the Asconda. Never came to our sunny shores.
You call it a Torana.
We’ve been through this before: the Ascona and Torana are completely different cars.
No, we only got the sedan and coupe.
Not to mention the Cortina fitted with the Falcon six. The handling was ….interesting. Especially in the wet.
Of course, where a Falcon six fitted, so will a Falcon V8. Just make sure your Cortina doesn’t have a sunroof first – unlike somebody I used to know…..
A high school friend had a hand me down Marina and he spent more time wrenching on it than we ever did driving it. It’s just sad how awful these cars were. Older British cars were always reliability nightmares, but at least they oozed character and had lovely interiors. Not the Marina, which was as cheap as can be and had an antique motor and suspension. There was simply nothing good about them. It shocked me that any company could produce a car that bad.
I’m not feeling the BMC love here to – day…… =8-) .
These were cheap Commercial Cars that did the job then were tossed aside .
Could have been better but that was BMC .
They sold a fair amount of the Morris Minor Pickup/Utes , I see them now and again .
Too small for my use and very uncomfortable driving position with the seat jammed firmly against the back of the cab .
-Nate
I like the idea of small car-based vans. But, I’d pass on this one.
After seeing this, I will never call any other vehicle’s interior a penalty box.
Of course, the whole Marina van van is a penalty box, isn’t it?
Those round plastic things on the dash didn’t mean you’d “been had” – if I recall correctly they were actually crude but relatively effective flaps that could be opened and swivelled around to direct airflow. At least they did in the cars.
In the Australian version of the Marina, they were an ‘eyeball’ vent. About the same size as the vents fitted to mid 60s GM products with factory air.
I assume they were the same in the UK.
I’m normally a sucker for small station wagons or vans. I think my MGB experience makes me want to pass. It isn’t the spartan interiors or anything like that. It’s the (MGB) experience of needing two . One to drive while the other was in the shop. Perhaps a generalization but not one that is unwarranted.
I for one would like to hear more about the Marina-disguised Bluebird Attesa. Did it have the CA18DET or the later SR20DET?
Oh, late answer to your good question Aaron, ’twas a Maestro van rather than a Marina, and and the answer is I don’t recall the engine sorry… I suspect it was the CA18DET though. I’ve had a quick look online but the transmission business that built and owned it went into receivership in 2015, so there’s not much info out there. I did have photos of it somewhere, if I ever find them I’ll do a CC on it.
Any Van Morrison connection ?
I wonder how many businesses went belly-up due to customer dissatisfaction brought about by yet another missed delivery (because the Marina broke down yet again between the home office and the customer)?
I still remember my brother-in-law’s. And I’m still looking for another one, to give him as a gift.
Love the inventive vocabulary. There was some US comedy variety show back in the ’80s (concept likely stolen from the Brits) that had a segment hosted by Rich Hall where viewers would send in words that didn’t exist but “should have”. They were called “sniglets”.
The panel-van or sedan-delivery version featured here is the least obnoxious of the Marina’s available body-styles, though of course that’s not saying much. But what was with the two separate windows on each side of the cargo area? A two-door longroof vehicle like this needs for its behind-the-driver exterior, either (a) traditional sedan-delivery, body-colored steel; or (b) Chevy Nomad-style full-length glass. The Marina’s compromise solution of two asymmetrical pieces of glass randomly stuck amidst steel comes across as cheap and artless — especially as the windows themselves look like generic items found on the shelves of some downmarket DIY megastore.
I have vague memories of when these Austin (as they were called stateside) Marinas were around. They seemed to have been bought mostly by immigrants from Britain and/or Anglophiles. Because, if a North American didn’t have some personal desire to “help British industry” or “support the troubled British economy”, there was not a single objective factor about these cars that would recommend them to a potential buyer. By any nonpartisan measure they were all-round inferior to the competing four-cylinder cars coming out of Japan. They were even all-round inferior to Vegas and Pintos.
Junk from a company that was actively committing suicide at the time. Bring on the pianos.
I think the side windows are an Australian thing.
Really, there being a van at all could be called a British thing – with both a wagon and a pickup in the line the van was one body style too many since buyers could have easily folded down the seat in the former or almost-as-easily put a cap on the latter.
Building vans fully based on small and compact car models has always been common practice in Europe. I don’t know about other continents.
The cargo compartment, from the B-pillar to the rear bumper, was wider and taller than the driver’s compartment. With a fully vertical rear side and doors.
Much more cargo space than a wagon with folded down seats. These vans were also built more heavy-duty than the car models.
The French and Italians have always been very good at it. This Fiat Fiorino, based on the Fiat 127, says it all.
One of these based on a Toyota Corolla would answer a lot of questions that nobody seems to be asking. At least it would probably stay out of the shop till after several years of being used like a 1 ton.
I can guarantee Lee that those little old Renault and Citroën vans with a diesel engine were tough as nails. Fully up to the task, for a very long time.
There were van versions of a bunch of small and medium-size JDM cars, including a long-running series of RWD Corolla vans. I don’t remember offhand if Toyota bothered developing a FWD one — the last RWD E70 van continued into the late ’80s with minor changes — but the RWD iterations ran for about 20 years.
The Japanese car-based vans weren’t quite as elaborate as some of the European examples. A lot of the JDM ones were essentially sparsely trimmed wagons, generally with the smaller of the available engine range and typically with some heavy-duty underpinnings.
I remember this Nissan Sunny from the early nineties. Clearly in the same style as the small car-based Euro vans.
We get all the weird van versions – including the Corollas – of JDM cars here among our used imports. Sometimes they’re real vans like the Marina; other times they’re just 2/4 door wagons with very tall fibreglass roof extensions and (usually) barn-type rear doors.
These are still going on strong in Brasil! The Fiorino has finally been updated.
” Junk from a company that was actively committing suicide at the time.”
HEY ! wait a minute there bunky ! as a BMC owner / lover / Mechanic I , oh wait ~ you’re right ~ never mind then .
-Nate
I think there would be two side windows because there would be a structural member in between, about where the C-pillar of a wagon would be located.
They may be factory/dealer/owner fitted too, I would need to see if there were more like this or not.
Most car-based panelvans in NZ have got windows in the rear compartment. Two half-size windows down each side (as on the Marina) is most common, full-length glass is almost never seen. I’d posit that’s because there’s not a hell of a lot of structural rigidity back there, and full-length glass would likely be subject to too much twisting force. I’ve also seen vans here with one half-size window on each side (ie imagine the Marina with only the front of the two rear windows). There’s also a 1978 Ford Falcon panelvan in town with three windows down each side – not a particularly good look.
Some panelvans come with the windows factory-fitted – eg the late Ford Falcon panelvan; some are aftermarket. Most aftermarket windows are a standard rectangular shape; although some (like the Marina’s rearmost glass) have an angled side to match the shape of the van’s pillars). Factory-fitted windows are often shaped to fit the body-side shapes – eg the XA Flacon below:
Side windows on these vans Escorts vivas Marinas Falcons are dealer/aftermarket not factory except in the case of the Viva and Avenger which were actually decontented wagons with a lower roof.
The Falcons were factory fitted.
NO, they were a dealer option I had Falcon vans that were window less so they definitely werent factory fitments or they would have all had them and they didnt,
Nope, the Falcon van was available with or without factory-fitted rear side windows. They’re shown as standard and factory-fitted in the XB GS van brochure and the XC Surferoo brochure. Dealers could of course fit them aftermarket too if required. It’s like the rear doors: buyers could get either barn doors or the split tailgate.
Greta piece Scott, and I love the fact you’ve found one in BL’s special Dijon mustard colour.
From memory, the side windows must be either an aftermarket addition or a NZ market specific option. The UK got vans or pickups.
I remember having to help push a van-motor home conversion up a 25% hill, as first was seemingly not low enough and/or the clutch was kaput as well
Thanks Roger, and it really is an unusual colour isn’t it! We got Escorts in a very similar colour too. Without seeing the NZ brochure (which I probably have somewhere) I’m unsure about the windows, but they’d have been fitted from new, if not by BL than by the dealer, as windowless panelvans aren’t popular here.
When I lived in the UK in the early ’70s, all these small vans had no rear side windows. That was because they were classified commercial, so no Purchase Tax at 25% on the price.
To stop HM Customs & Excise from crying foul when private citizens bought them to escape the tax, manufacturers made the interiors super basic and rattly, so that the woman of the house would tell hubby to buy the real car instead of an actual tin box. This tax regime had started over 20 years before.
In 1973, the new VAT taxed everything, so rear windows immediately appeared on the vans if you wanted to actually buy one for some unknown reason.
I love Marinas. And obviously HATE that stupid piano thing.
Marina’s are ok to me…..I mean I went to England once in 1991 and I saw a regular marina the sedan and the van version working and at delivery company. But the marina honestly was just another car to me just like everything I see everyday except now there more rare then common.
Not all BMC car based vans are a disaster.
These were deliberately austere and cheapened to keep the cost down. BL sold these things by the shipload to large fleets in the u.k like British Gas, British telecom, Royal Mail etc. The competition wasn’t any more dynamic or well equipped, you had the ’60s throwback Bedford HA and the Escort van, of which mechanically the only difference between it and the marina was the front suspension.
These firms liked the marina van, they were reliable, cheap to run and dead easy to work on.
Scotty,
Is the Marina Van for sale in the bay of plenty by any chance
No it was in Ngaruawahia, but that was in 2015 so it could be in the BOP now.