First paragraphs of some short stories that will probably never get written, inspired by sightings of big old sedans and wagons from the House of the Blue Oval.
1. “Ford Country Squire, hah”, she thought. “If there were any truth in advertising they’d call it the “Bored Suburban Housewife”. This bit of drollery momentarily took her mind off the painful subject of her husband’s numerous infidelities, at least one of which, judging from the hoop earring she’d found under the seat this morning, had taken place in this very car. She pulled off the alley behind the office supply store, drove up onto the tracks, got out and left the big wagon there, door open, engine running. An approaching Union Pacific freight blew its horn for the crossing a half-mile north. She lit a cigarette and took a long drag. “This should be quite a sight”, she said to no one in particular.
2. Detective Scanlon heaved his bulk out of the squad car into the crisp December air, and stared at the beat-up white LTD Landau that had disrupted his breakfast. A jittery Pep Boys employee, who had found the LTD abandoned on the back lot when he arrived to open up, looked on. Scanlon peered in through the gangster-tinted glass and took stock of the contents. Two empty pill bottles and a badly-folded city map on the dash. The dull metallic glint of a .38 revolver on the passenger-side floor. And in the middle of the back seat, a slumped human form in an expensive suit, blood staining the dirty white upholstery. Despite the damage done to the face by a couple of bullets, Scanlon recognized the deceased as a troublemaking member of the City Council, who had been in the news lately for his vigorous opposition to the new stadium project. Scanlon rubbed his temples and wished retirement was a little closer than the end of next March; in fact today would be nice.
3. As he did almost every morning, Dave Winters briefly stared at the official sedan of his uncle, the former chief, sitting forlornly alongside the fire house. The car hadn’t moved in six months, ever since Dave’s uncle had disappeared, along with the keys, a couple days ahead of the arrival of two investigators from the state Fire Marshal’s office. The bureau guys were anxious to talk to the chief, saying that they had reason to believe that three of the five fires the department had responded to in the previous month had been set by the man himself. His uncle’s sudden exit had certainly lent credence to that notion. Dave sighed and went into the fire house. His cell phone began ringing insistently. Dave looked at the little screen. Blocked number. He put the phone to his ear anyway, only to nearly drop it when he heard his uncle’s gruff voice. “Hey, Dave, how’s the old Crown Vic? Listen, I want to tell you what’s been going on, but first I really need you to do something for me…”
4. Carlos’ hand twitched nervously at the motel-room curtain and he eyed the parking lot for the hundredth time. His older brother’s borrowed station wagon still sat where he’d carefully parked it, a few doors down. He wished the Colombians would come and get that box already. He didn’t know what was in it and didn’t want to; just that whatever it contained apparently was important enough that some dude in a van had tried to run him into the ditch as he drove up from Williams in the pre-dawn darkness. He’d somehow managed to escape by flooring it down an unpaved county road with the lights off. That went pretty well, at least until he hit the damn deer at something like 60 per, taking out the left headlight. The old Crown Victoria had held up fairly well, all things considered, but his brother was going to kill him when he saw the damage. If, that is, the Colombians or whoever else was currently looking for him didn’t do it first.
5. Mosley sat in half-darkness in the Accountant’s comfy office chair, feet up on the desk, .45 automatic held loosely in his right hand. His anonymous beige LTD sedan sat outside, engine ticking as it cooled. He’d driven down from Dallas overnight, doing 80 when he could, ear cocked to listen to the police scanner. His instructions were clear: bring back the money the Accountant owed or take it out of his hide. Mosley didn’t much care which outcome prevailed, but option number two was always one he enjoyed. At that moment he heard the sound of a key turning at the front door. His grip tightened on the .45. The door opened and the morning sunshine flooded in. Mosley couldn’t see clearly who it was, but two things were certain: whoever it was, was armed, and it wasn’t the Accountant.
Feel free to contribute your own!
Nice stories!
All terrific! It’s amazing what a car with a few character lines can create in the brain.
Brilliant. This should be a series.
+1
+2 !!!
The ’75-’78 Ford Country Squire wagons were beautiful IMO. Their Panther replacements were not. Ugly boxes on wheels.
I’ll echo “brilliant” – all five of these vignettes. More, please, GGH06. I love Curbside Classic for many things, including both its technical and creative aspects.
I found a mid 80s Country Sedan recently on Craigslist for $800, in SLIGHTLY better condition than some of the cars pictured here. It’s white with a blue interior. As much as I hate some of the boxy designs of the 70s and 80s, I am very tempted to pick up this car…..and it doesn’t hurt that I really want a wagon.
Do it! And then after a bit of ownership, submit a COAL, of course.
I’ve had general wagon longing for a good while now, which included a serious flirtation with buying a $1000 Volvo 245. The wife put an end to that one with the rather valid point that we don’t need a fifth car for two people with no garage,
I’ll give it a shot:
Sean Molloy looked at the big old Ford parked by the side of the road and thought of his father. It was the sort of car his dad always drove for work, the same job he did now. It *looked* like a night beat reporter’s car. Or a plainclothes cop’s. Or a not-quite-Lincoln or Caddy level mobster’s.
Honestly, that was a bug, not a feature. The Prius Sean was driving now was ideal; low-vis when it needed to be; if he got to something that was going down before the cops did he could kill the lights and be a silent, invisible observer or just motor on, a late-night Uber driver whose GPS sent him the long way. And of course, it was cheap to run…
But a Prius isn’t noir. The Post-Record’s office in the Old Mill with its’ raw brick walls and wood floors contrasting with brushed-metal tables and white Apple devices wasn’t noir. Sending Liam to arts magnet elementary instead of parochial school isn’t noir. Taking over the night crime beat from dad, the legendary Frank Molloy, was about as noir as it got.
“Oh well, what is life without a few glaring contradictions?” Sean thought as he took one last look at the Ford, resolved to look for something like a Fox Mustang that would make a better *toy*, climbed back into his Prius and drove off.
These are a good bunch of short stories, thank you for posting them and these photos. I like the 1983-87 Ford LTD Crown Victoria from Snyder, NE since it is nearly antique, but still in service. I wonder if the owner of the 1988-90 Ford LTD Crown Victoria Wagon in Tusayan, AZ had too much to drink, is a sloppy driver, or if they actually accidentally hit something. Cannot tell what the black spot on the passenger side headlight is, but those look like bungee cords on the driver’s side. The aftermarket hubcaps on the 1988-90 Ford LTD Crown Victoria look somewhat tacky, but since the car is in Woodlands, TX I am not terribly surprised. That does not look like typical Texas rust on the car though.
In the Ford noir series, we could mention the Galaxie 500 convertible driven by David Vincent in the opening credits of Quinn Martin’s tv series “The Invaders”. 😉
Well, I see the opening paragraphs to 5 really good full-on installments of Curbside Fiction. Each of those paragraphs is just pregnant with possibilities for a great tale. Well done!
There is something about those Fords that just cries out for a fiction piece. For a guy of my age, there is absolutely nothing novel or noteworthy about them at this point, just honest though somewhat flawed cars, each in its own way.
I’d read any of the following novels 🙂
Great post. Those little vignettes could expanded into some pretty interesting stories. You could be another Michael Connelly.
You’re good. A voice that deserves to be heard. Publish.
And afterwards, the film versions. Then the live shows. On ice!
Those are all great starts. My best would be more along the lines of “Once upon a time they lived happily ever after”. The end.
Ever since the accident, Gary was a completely different person. A cruel, mocking voice kept resounding inside his head, offering opinions without being asked. Rita wouldn’t be of much help, even if she was still alive. But she wasn’t- her love of cheap booze and unfiltered Camel cigarettes saw to that.
Gary took another swig of his stale, lukewarm coffee and gazed forlornly at the old Ford parked out in front of his rickety old house. “That damn LTD” he thought to himself out loud. Throughout his ownership of it, that LTD was both his best friend and the biggest thorn in his side.
Since Rita passed in March, every time he looked at that car, he kept thinking to himself “if only”.
If only they had taken Gary’s LTD on that fateful day 11 years ago, the speeding drunk in the VW who blew a stop sign and t-boned Rita’s Corolla would be the who was dead, instead of their beloved daughter Megan. Being his third conviction, the lush got 20 years for murder. TWO murders if you count what Megan’s death did to Rita. Rita quietly retreated into a haze of Southern Comfort, Valium, and tobacco and never came back.
But this was it- the end of all the crap Gary thought, as he stared at the numerous cardboard boxes and plastic trash bags dotting his soon-to-be-vacant home. Too many memories, he thought. With no family left to think about, he was about to join his retired older brother in Cleveland and blow this dreary little town once and for all. His gardener Miguel, also a close family friend, would adopt the LTD. Perhaps that old tuna boat would leave Miguel’s family with happier memories than his own.
As Gary maneuvered the huge moving truck out of the cracked, dingy, oil-stained driveway and onto the wide, potholed street, he glanced in the rearview mirror one last time at the rickety old wood frame house and decrepit old Ford, and said “good riddance”.
Heh, good stuff. Absolutely love the photo.
Fantastic photo indeed! The Dart could be a character as well.
(I love that house btw.)
Wow, 90s Suburban wheels on a ’70s LTD wagon. I guess I just never thought I’d see the day.
I don’t even like those wheels on the 73-87 Chevy pickups, they just don’t fit the styling! 🙂
Enjoying the fictions here .
-Nate
Love these vignettes. Each one has promise for a full story…or they could be picked up by another writer, who adds a paragraph, and repeat until finished. CC Collaborative Fiction?
It occurs to me that I haven’t seen a “rounded box” 88-91 Panther without a vinyl roof in a while. That beige one essentailly screams “ex-fleet car”. My Uncle Dan had a brown sedan as a company car for a couple years, as an interregnum between two Tauruses.
>>Each one has promise for a full story…or they could be picked up by another writer, who adds a paragraph, and repeat until finished. CC Collaborative Fiction?<<
I think you may be on to something there. Someone posts a leadoff photo and a first paragraph, then others add bits of story as the spirit moves, along with maybe a photo in support. After a day or two, the original author wraps it up with a conclusion.
Paging Mr. Niedermeyer: what do you think? Practical?
Love the stories. SO cool.
The silver/light blue? 88-90 Crown Vic wagon from Arizona strikes me as the saddest vehicle in the entire lot. It looks like a loaded version too – cornering lamps, vent windows, illuminated entry – sans woodgrain paneling. I guess it has done its share of work and looks really, really tired. Ready for the junkyard in the sky.