This is a continuing CC serial. The previous episode can be found here.
Louis Broderick pulled the brown Coupe deVille into the freshly paved parking lot. Sighing as he turned off the ignition, he lit another Brougham cigarette before getting out of the car.
He realized he had been smoking a lot lately, but he also realized he was likely one of the few people in the history of mankind whose smoking habit had saved his life. If it weren’t for his beloved cigarettes, he would have had a very unpleasant time recently in Paducah.
The smoking kept Louis’s nerves calmed. He had been a nervous wreck since offing those two goons and sleep had been an abstract thought ever since. No matter how much one is professionally prepared for such acts, nothing ever quite readies a conscionable person for the psychological fallout.
Enhancing Louis’s psychological upheaval was having received instructions to ferry another passenger. In and of itself that was benign, but Louis was going back to Missouri – a state he was really wanting to avoid for a while. Supposedly it was simply a change of venue for a trial, but Louis knew if he was getting involved there was a palpable degree of risk to navigate.
Walking up to the front door of the Rush Hudson Limbaugh, Sr. Federal Courthouse at 553 Independence Street in Cape Girardeau, Louis stamped out his cigarette and fished out his badge. The irony to his having a badge still made him smile, but he was getting paid handsomely for being that unique combination of The Driver, James Bond, and Hercule Poirot.
The officer at the door smiled and waved Louis on through. Knowing he needed the basement, Louis headed toward the steps.
Ten minutes later, Louis was pulling the Cadillac around to the back to retrieve Wilhelm.
Wilhelm was a gentleman whose age was hard to determine, but Louis figured him to be anywhere between 65 and 80. A tall, slender gentleman, Wilhelm was the most pleasant and talkative passenger Louis had had.
Wilhelm had only two requests; to drive by the riverfront to see the Mississippi Queen moored at the bank and to stay off the interstates as much as possible. Louis was more than happy to oblige.
Louis was having a grand time driving north on US 61, forgetting all his recent troubles and enjoying good conversation for a change. Wilhelm had a lot of grand experiences and Louis was enjoying hearing about Wilhelm’s travels and escapades with women. Wilhelm was getting an equal joy hearing Louis’s tales from driving the working girls in the RV camper and about his limited endeavors in trying to find his birth parents.
Getting closer to St. Louis, Wilhelm had another request. He wanted to tour the Anheuser-Busch factory and see if they were giving tourists free samples. Louis knew there was plenty of time, but was reluctant to stop. However, thinking about just sitting around waiting at the federal courthouse, along with being thirsty, Louis pulled off I-55 onto Arsenal Street and continued north on 13th Street to Pestalozzi Street.
After a delightful tour with free flowing samples, Louis and Wilhelm walked back out to the Cadillac. As they approached, Wilhelm and Louis both noticed the pumpkin colored Buick.
Across the parking lot, two gentleman sitting in a 1973 Buick LeSabre suddenly perked up. Getting into the Cadillac, Wilhelm calmly and deliberately put on his seat belt. “Louis,” he flatly said, “the blond driver has promised to kill me. I’ve been in a few of these scrapes before, but I’m turning it over to you to do your thing.”
Reassured, Louis fired up the Cadillac’s engine. Louis had again quickly deduced the original engine in this Cadillac was long gone, replaced with something different. Putting the Cadillac in reverse, Louis intentionally eased by the front of the Buick on his way out of the parking lot.
Taking Pestalozzi across I-55, Louis decided to weave around and see if the Buick was sincere.
Turning right onto Salena Street, Louis went a few blocks and turned left onto Lynch. He then went west on Lynch then took a left onto McNair, toward Pestalozzi. As they approached Pestalozzi, the Buick was heading toward them. With both Louis and Wilhelm smiling, they figured the hook was about to be set. Pulling out in front of the Buick and continuing northwest on Pestalozzi, Louis at the last moment turned right onto Ohio Avenue.
The Buick followed, its suspension forcing the tires to announce the haste with which the driver made his turn.
“Louis, I’m not going to tell you what to do, but I think they need to either shit or get off the pot. What do you think about some inspiration?” Louis said he had just the thing in mind.
Approaching the intersection with Gravois, Louis bent down and flipped a switch, a breaker for the circuit to all exterior lights. Rolling to a stop, he waited for the Buick. Throwing the Cadillac in reverse, Louis gunned it, quickly gaining speed and heading toward the approaching Buick.
The Buick driver nearly didn’t see it in time, veering to the right at the last second with the right rear of the Cadillac side-swiping him, pushing the Buick’s front fender back into his door and cracking his door glass. Everything was soon in a cloud of smoke as Louis had his foot tackling the firewall of the Cadillac, heading northeast on Gravois. The Buick quickly followed suit.
“Ha! He’s serious – we called that!” Wilhelm exclaimed. “Now, we just can’t get the attention of the constabulary…Damn boy! You’re already running nearly 70 miles per hour!”
Louis laughed. “Wilhelm, don’t worry; around here you’d have to stand naked on the hood before anybody noticed!” Staying comfortably ahead of the Buick, Louis was ramrodding his way through three lanes of traffic, heading toward the interchange with eastbound I-44.
Soon merging onto I-44, Louis immediately took the next exit, hoping to evade the Buick. Not seeing them, Louis was able to slow down, turning right onto Park Avenue, then stopped and signaled to make a left onto 4th Street. The courthouse was downtown and Louis thought he had this trip in the bag.
Awaiting his turn, Louis heard the sound of a large displacement V8 rapidly approaching from behind him. How in the world??? It was the LeSabre.
Not wanting to see what was on their mind, Louis nailed the throttle of the Cadillac, throwing chunks of rubber and gravel on queued cars. Louis was remarkably calm, likely from the positive influence of Wilhelm. But as Louis was navigating his way around taxi cabs and delivery trucks, he was curious.
“Wilhelm, who have you pissed off? Who is after you?”
“Louis, I’ve been chased by everything from Nazis to irate husbands. Right now, the driver who is chasing us is a hitman with the Luxembourg Mafia. They’ve heavily infiltrated the country music industry in Nashville. This trial I’m testifying at stems from my embezzling a few million from them. Oh, and the passenger is also in the Mafia and quite the major force; I entertained his wife in a manner I don’t think he appreciated as much as she did. That’s likely what he’s so peeved about.”
Rolling his eyes, Louis was not sure if he should applaud or punch Wilhelm. The Luxembourg Mafia? Louis sensed an ugly ending to this escapade, the very reason he didn’t want to be back in Missouri again so soon.
Continuing his breakneck sprint north on 4th Street, Louis formulated a plan. He also figured his Cadillac likely had a tracking device of some sort that could work to his benefit.
The further north Louis went, the thicker traffic got. Thankfully, 4th Street was one way and he didn’t have to worry about opposing traffic. Getting close to Market Street, Louis stood on the brakes, looking for a small gap. After a seeming eternity of looking for one, Louis punched the throttle and cut the wheel left to head west on Market Street.
Hearing the sound of crashing and crunching sheet metal, Louis looked behind him. Sure enough, the Buick had smacked a Camry in the A-pillar, pushing the Camry into a light pole that broke and fell onto the cab of a Ford Ranger. Far from unscathed, the Buick still had enough wherewithal to continue its hysterical charge toward Louis’s Cadillac.
Louis continued on Market Street until reaching the Thomas F. Eagleton Federal Courthouse at the intersection of Market and 10th Street. Honking his horn, Louis made one lap around the one city block complex, trying to let somebody, anybody know he was there and thinking help may not be a bad thing. Louis started his second lap, but aborted it as the Buick drew ever closer. Louis then shot east toward the river on Walnut Street. He had one final contingency plan.
Heading back toward 4th Street, the noontime pedestrians were gawking at the spectacle of the damaged Cadillac being chased by the steaming heap of Buick. Cab drivers lined up along the curb were eyeing the events and taking bets on outcome. The adjacent Busch Stadium was thankfully empty as it had crossed Louis’s mind to make use of it.
Blasting east, Louis crossed over the depressed section of I-70 and across Memorial Drive, into the parking lot for the Old Cathedral. Logistics were working to Louis’s benefit.
Turning left and jumping the curb at the east side of the Cathedral property put Louis and his Cadillac on a very wide walking trail toward the St. Louis Gateway Arch. With Louis allowing the Buick to nip on his heels, Louis knew he could end this pretty handily – if guards with the United States Park Service didn’t shoot them first.
As Louis hopped the curb onto the walking trail, Wilhelm laughed. “If you don’t get us killed, I’ll buy you the biggest steak you’ve ever eaten. I can’t wait to see what you have in mind!”
Picking up speed, Louis was on the car horn again, trying to vacate the oblivious pedestrians sauntering along at a snails pace.
“Oh, screw it!”
Hitting the grass next to the trail, Louis was royally pissing off the tourists from the spray of topsoil he was creating from his ample use of the throttle on wet ground. Heading straight for the Arch, Louis knew this could be over in less than a minute. Getting to the midpoint of the 630′ between the two bases of the Arch, Louis cut to the right and drove right beneath the Arch, one of the biggest and blatant wrongs Louis had ever committed. By now, Wilhelm was giggling like a five-year old girl.
With the Buick nipping at his heels, Louis continued straight under the Arch, pointing himself to the river. With tourists now parting like the Red Sea in biblical times, Louis had a clear and unimpeded shot. As he approached the trail just east of the Arch, Louis taunted the Buick into coming ever closer. With his exterior lights still inoperable, Louis slammed on his brakes and cut a hard left.
Unable to react in time, the Buick blasted off the top of the steps approaching the riverfront, gliding silently through the air, heading ever earthward. As the nose of the Buick was perpendicular to the horizon, it slammed down into the concrete of the steps with a deafening cacophony of bending steel and breaking glass, rolled onto its roof, and came to rest in the middle of Wharf Street on the St. Louis riverfront.
Relieved, Louis murmured “Let’s get the hell out of here.”
With the enormity of it overcoming him, Wilhelm remained jovial. “So, young man, do you like Porterhouse or sirloin?”
Without haste, Louis got Wilhelm to the courthouse and the Cadillac was quietly whisked away.
To be continued….
Keep ’em coming, Jason! I’ve been delighted with every single one.
Soon, a book? “Louis, The Movie”?
Thank you. I have already had inspiration for the next installment , I just need to scour my photo archive for the right car.
Very nice! And for once, one of the scenes is a parking lot that I have actually driven through.
If those bad guys had picked a more subdued color for their car, our poor protagonists might have concluded their lives bleeding out in a Coupe deVille. But who could miss one of those Buicks in that 1970s orange?
Wow, these just keep getting better and better. Keep it up!
+1 more please
If all the Luxembourg Mafia can afford for it’s hitmen is a 40 year old beat-up LeSabre, you know things are tough all over. Being from Europe, one would think they would be driving something a bit more “Roninesque”.
I like that! In my mind the timeframe is rather undefined. Definitely not present day despite the newness of the buildings I’ve referenced, making the cars not quite as old as they would be today. If that makes sense.
My gosh – this was better than a good episode of CHiPs (which I mean as a compliment). Incorporation of St. Louis with Louis’ and Wilhelm’s plight and car chase was icing on the cake. Well done – waiting for the next one!
Always loved the body style of the 1977-79 C-body coupes, they’re some of my favorite cars built in the late 70’s era, I always thought the 1980 redesign was a huge downgrade to the 1977-79 models.
+1. This DeVille would have come directly on the heels of the ’76 Seville, and represented a leaner, more streamlined, almost lithe styling profile for Cadillac.
Even as a young kid I remember being in and Olds/Caddy showroom where my father purchased an ’80 Toronado, and looking at the 1980 models, thinking, “Why did they tack on these extra bits to make them look bigger again?” It just seemed like a step backwards to bulk up the ’80’s after doing such a great job slimming down the ’77’s.
(And don’t even get me started on the ’80 Seville, which I’ve always felt completely unraveled a modicum of progress that the ’76-79’s represented in the “language” of the American luxury car.)
*Love this series, BTW. The descriptions really put the reader in the action.
Jason, these are amazing… perhaps the CC Effect, but I was thinking just two days ago, ‘Did I miss an installment?’ and then magically it appeared today! I even went back to read the last one (with the ’79 Dodge Pick-Up) to make sure I didn’t miss anything…
Let me ask you this: Does seeing the car inspire the story? or does the story inspire the type of car? Your post above in response to G. Poon above would suggest the latter.
Keep them coming good sir!
As far as inspiration, most of the time the car has inspired it – but not always! An added benefit is this series has allowed cars to get their moment of attention, and these have usually been cars that should be celebrated due to their survival but aren’t that unique.
Very good. A sort of Quinn Martin Production with GM cars instead of Fords.
Actually Mike, you make a good point. Those old Quinn Martin Productions always featured Fords. The show ‘The F.B.I.’ was a great example of Ford’s sponsorship and heavy influence. Agents in a shootout with the bad guys could be running through a parking lot full of Chevys, but if they needed to duck down for cover behind a car that subsequently got riddled with bullets, it was a Ford.
Today, Hawaii Five-0 is heavily sponsored by Chevrolet, and almost all of the cars and trucks featured on the show sport the bow-tie on their grille. But it’s not as bad as it was in the olden days like with a Quinn Martin Production… there are a few exceptions. One of the guys (Chin Ho if memory serves) drives a beautiful red ‘65 Mustang, and Steve McGarrett, the main protagonist on the show occasionally drives an old 1974 Mercury Marquis. In the new version of the show, the back story on the car is that it belonged to his father and has sentimental value. In reality, this is the exact same ’74 Mercury Marquis that Jason Shafer’s Avatar “Jack Lord” drove when he played Steve McGarrett on the original series.
I always thought that this was SO cool. And every time I see Jason’s avatar on this site, I feel like mentioning it! So there! ;o) My great uncle had a ’73 Marquis… he bought it in the exact same color as my Dad’s ’73 LTD… in that 70’s gold with a brown vinyl top, presumably to upstage my Dad. Damn that was a big car.
I was picturing the chase “scene” vividly in my mind! Excellent storytelling Jason!
There are 3 77-79 Coupe deVilles for sale near me and I’m going to have go check them out. They only have the base leather seats though and I really like the d’Elegance versions better. There’s also an 83 Olds 98 coupe for sale that I like because they’re more rare these days
Full tale, but I do like that Buick…..
Same here, Roger. What a fate for it!
As entertaining as ever. Well done and thank you.
Hehehe… Mafia infiltration of the country music scene. Now I want stories about Wilhelm’s escapades as well.
Good story telling , nice old Caddy too .
-Nate
I enjoyed your write up, definitely entertaining. I never post, I just like to read. I spent a lot of time down south there, years even, yet the only breath of fresh air I got was on my way home from Tamms Supermax. Looks like a nice area. Years later I’m oddly considering buying a piece of farmland out there to homestead. Funny how things turn out.
Small world – I attended kindergarten through 12th grade in Tamms. My great aunt has a small place for sale in Olive Branch and property down there can be obtained quite reasonably. Just stay away from the river!
Another great installment–I always look forward to these! Whether the cars make the story or whether the story leads to the selection of the cars, it works fantastically either way.