[Originally published on 26 June 2021 @ 14:00]
»strum, pluck-pluck-pluck, strum« aHEM! »strum«
In 1970, the Kinks had a giant hit with “Lola”, a song about a young man’s encounter with a cross-dressed club patron:
Inspiration struck me like lightning one day in 2007, and three verses of a parody came to me spontaneously—but then I got stuck. My talented parodist friend Paul Todd (RIP; miss ya) pitched in and we got the job done, so here it is. It’s sung to the tune of “Lola”—or Weird Al’s “Yoda”, if you prefer—and it’s called “Škoda”.
(»Strummm…strummm…strumma-strum-strumma-strum-STRUMMM!«)
I saw it in a ditch by the side of the road
I was walking on foot ’cause my own car needed a mota;
M-O-T-A, Mota.
I walked up to it and I gave it a look
And under all the mud it was a rusty, carbureted Škoda;
Š-koh-dee-yay, Škoda;
Ško-Ško-Ško-ško-Ško-dahh!
(»strumma-strum-strumma-strum-STRUMMMM!«)
Well I’m laid-back but I think it’s a joke
How it won’t start unless I put a stick in the choke of my Škoda;
Ško-Ško-Ško-ško-Ško-da.
And I’m not dumb but I can’t understand
Why it sounds like a dumptruck full of old beer cans,
oh my Škoda;
Ško-Ško-Ško-ško-Ško-dahh
Ško-Ško-Ško-ško-Ško-dahhhhh!
(»strumma-strum-strumma-strum-STRUMMMM!«)
Well it leaked oil and grease and looked a fright/
Under the glare of the streetlight/
The dashboard fell down across my chest/
and I said, “Oh, look, another seven mouse nests!”
Well I’m not the world’s most mechanical guy/
But with mud in my eye, well, I think I fell for my Škoda.
Ško-Ško-Ško-ško-Ško-dahh;
Ško-Ško-Ško-ško-Ško-dahhhhh!
(»strumma-strum-strumma-strum-STRUMMMM!«)
Škoda!
Ško-Ško-Ško-ško-Ško-dahh;
Ško-Ško-Ško-ško-Ško-dahhhhh!
(»strumma-strum-strumma-strum-STRUMMMM!«)
I pushed it away!
I opened the door!
I fell through the floor!
I got up on my knees…
And I looked at it and mumbled “Please?”
So that’s the way that I want it to stay,
And I hope I’ll make it to work today in my Škoda;
Ško-Ško-Ško-ško-Ško-da.
Chevs be rolets and Olds be mobiles,
Just you listen to that high-pitched Czech’slovakian squeal from my Škoda;
Ško-Ško-Ško-ško-Ško-da!
Well, my car quit just a week before!
And I’d never ever drove a Škoda before,
But invention’s mother is necessity;
I use a screwdriver ’cause I ain’t got the key!
My dee-luxe membership with triple-A/
Means the tow truck driver never makes me pay
for my Škoda;
Ško-Ško-Ško-ško-Ško-da;
Ško-Ško-Ško-ško-Ško-dahhhh!
(»strumma-strum-strumma-strum«) Škohhhh-da!
Ško-Ško-Ško-ška-Ško-dahh! Ško-Ško-Ško-ška-Škohh-dahh!
(»strumma-strum-strumma-strum«) Škohhhh-da!
Ško-Ško-Ško-ška-Ško-dahh! Ško-Ško-Ško-ška-Škohh-dahh!
(»strumma-strum-strumma-strum«) Škohhhh-da!
Ško-Ško-Ško-ška-Ško-dahh! Ško-Ško-Ško-ška-Škohh-dahh!
(…etc, fade out…)
[Lyrics copyright © 2021 all rights reserved]
Now you’ve had a read-through, hit Play here—look, ma, no vocals!—and join on in:
Surely I can’t be the only one to have written curbivorous lyrics to existing songs, so…who’s up next?
Ha – ha – ha – ha – ha – hahhh!
Very, and I mean VERY, well done!
Having owned several Czech cars over the last few decades, I have an appreciation for how you worded the song.
Many years ago, for a former girlfriend/lover, I penned an explicit X-rated version of “The Piano Man” by Billy Joel, but I don’t believe it’s appropriate to publish here!
Bravo!
Ah! Patina…..
Daniel,
Would it be OK to send a copy to the Tatra Register UK [TRUK]? As both Tatras and Skodas are CZ cars, I’m sure the members will enjoy it as much as I did. And of course I’ll give you and CC full credit.
Sure! Lyric credit to Daniel Stern and Paul Todd.
Made my day! Just brilliant – thanks Dan!
Magnificent job messrs Stern and Todd!
Although not car-related, I once wrote a rather marvellous song entitled ‘Portaloo’ to the tune of Abba’s ‘Waterloo’. I still perform it upon request, although my lovely husband usually requests that I stop rather than start…
S-koh-dee-a-yay Skoda!
L-Oh-a-lay Lola!
Chevs be rolets! Olds be Mobiles!
Most excellent! What will they think of next?!
I rode in a Skoda in the 2000s in Prague. Great fun, and we kept up to traffic on the major highways too. 130 km/h plus was the “General Understanding” speed limit. Or so.
A Skoda I saw there, not the rental.
The rental Skoda, and me.
I hope someone takes the time to put this to music .
I like the overall looks of that first Skoda picture, the rust not so much .
-Nate
One of the Skoda stories I heard was about the rally cars. They introduced a 120RS ( I think), a coupe homologation special with plastic windows and other mods. Like most homologation specials, they had to produce a certain number of cars. Being Skodas, they were a hard sell.
The left over cars were sold to the Czech police. The police were driving lightweight rally cars as pursuit vehicles. That’s the story I heard. How true it was I don’t know. I may have read the story in CAR,
NZ police now have Skodas as patrol cars or will have when they start replacing the current Holden fleet basically Czech built Volkswagens hopefully they are better quality than German built Volkswagens or they are going to be very expensive to keep running in severe service.
Brilliant.
»doffs cap« Thankš!
Better © the lyrics. You never know…
According to Google: Copyright exists automatically in an original work of authorship once it is fixed in a tangible medium, but a copyright owner can take steps to enhance the protections of copyright, the most important of which is registering the work.
https://www.copyright.gov/circs/circ01.pdf?loclr=blogcop#:~:text=Copyright%20exists%20automatically%20in%20an,which%20is%20registering%20the%20work.
Anyway, brilliant, Daniel, and thanks !
Owen. Get me a Skoda! Okay! Okay! Mama…..
I should have known better than to be drinking when reading this!! Now, I’ve got to clean my keyboard/monitor, not to mention the “earworm” that I’ve been infected with, LOL!!! Perfect, Just PERFECT!! 🙂
Glad you like it. Now gimme a hand with the next one, willya?
Yesterdayyyyyyy…someone stole my brand-new Chevrolet!
They just turned the key and drove away; oh, someone stole my Chevrolet.
Suddenlyyyyyy…it’s not half the car it used to be!
…???
Suddenlyyyyyy…it’s not half the car it used to be!
CAFE brought about shrink-age, you see… Oh how I miss my big Chev-vy!!
Jap-a-nese im-ports from overseas were the sales-man’s glee!…
They could raise the price over all MSRP’e e e es; Chevrolet,
The way you were no longer works today, since someone has taken you away,
all your “great” replacements never saved the day!!
Mm mm mm mm mm mm mm!!
The best I could do on short notice, LOL!! 🙂
Suddenlyyyyyy…it’s not half the car it used to be!
CAFE brought about shrink-age, you see… Oh how I miss my big Chev-vy!!
Jap-a-nese im-ports from overseas were the sales-man’s glee!…
They could raise the price over all MSRP’e e e es; Chevrolet,
The way you were no longer works today, since someone has taken you away,
all your “great” replacements never saved the day!!
Mm mm mm mm mm mm mm!!
The best I could do on short notice, LOL!! 🙂
There’s no legal requirement that you get the original songwriter’s permission to write parody lyrics to a song, but Weird Al Yankovic does it anyway, as a courtesy. He once asked Paul McCartney if he could parody a McCartney composition, I forget which one. The proposed parody included a line that went against McCartney’s vegetarian beliefs. Yankovic either rewrote the line or decided not to parody the song at all.
That was “Live and Let Die”, which Weird Al wanted to filk as “Chicken Pot Pie”. McCartney objected on the grounds you describe, so Yankovic never released it, though he’s done brief bits of it in medleys on stage:
My (now) wife and I got a ride around Prague in a 1932 Skoda – charming little car and one of the only “oldtimer” cars you could rent from the castle grounds that was genuine. Others there were replica bodies on modern chassis. I would still love a ride in a rear engined Tatra!
Btw, if visiting Europe, Prague, along with Budapest and Vienna should be on your list, in addition to the more popular destinations. Wonderful architecture, history and culinary delights to be found in each, Prague being one of the most beautiful cities there is, IMHO.
Unlike most cities in the region, Prague suffered very little damage in WWII. If your beer taste runs to lagers and pilsners (I’m more of a porter and stout man), it’s supposed to be like dying and going to heaven.
Here is one for you YUGO fans…
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MqTKZgEW8pM
Enjoy…
Skoda as a car brand goes back to the 1800s and they built cars of their own design before becoming VW on the cheap this rear engined example was rare here but the regular 4 door was sold new they were very very cheap but people bought them they also rusted incredibly fast and burned oil from new, I used to get a ride home from work in one fairly regularly, better than walking.