(first posted 2/20/2014) Good morning, Curbsiders. Today, our subject is Bloat. Please turn your attention to the photograph above. We are going to examine this poor, unfortunate swollen subject in some detail. This is the sad result when a handsome but large American car simply lets itself go.
Sure, the 1971-72 Ford LTD had been a piece of crap. But it had at least been an attractive and appealing piece of crap, one that made its (first) owner feel handsome and successful, at least until the rust started bubbling up through the paint after its third winter. But the ’73 model, ugh!
I vividly recall this car’s debut. I was thirteen. My Mopar fandom was still developing, and my automotive heart was still with the big Fords. From my earliest consciousness, I worked hard at identifying every year and following the new models when they came out. I suppose it was my way of rebellion in a family dominated by GM vehicles. Finally, my Uncle Bob got a used ’64 Galaxie 500, and then Dad got a new ’66 Country Squire, followed by a ’69 LTD. Each of these cars seemed better and more appealing than the last. I still remember the first ’71 LTD I ever saw – I was stunned at how beautiful the car was. Yessir, Ford was on a roll. Then came this one.
“My,” I thought of my old flame in late 1972, “haven’t you put on weight?” Actually, my dear Ford LTD had gotten outright fat. This was bloat of the highest order. Sure, Chevy and Plymouth had usually been better performers, but Fords had at least looked trim and athletic from the curb. No more. The ’71-72 LTD always made me think of Burt Reynolds. Maybe this is because I remember him driving them in the movie White Lightning. This car? More like John Candy. Only not as funny. Middle age spread had taken hold.
I wanted to like the car. Really. But every feature of the thing seemed designed to look less appealing than last year’s model. Every detail on the car was dull and puffy compared to the prior version. I knew that the fat bumpers were not Ford’s fault, but everything else certainly was. To tell you how bad it was, the ’73 Caprice started looking good to me, which in my Chevy-phobic youth was a serious matter indeed.
Let’s be truthful for a moment. Does anyone really like the ’73 big Ford? I don’t mean do you like the way it rides, or how much you can put into its cavernous trunk. I mean does anyone think that this is an attractive car? I suspect that we will get two or three contrarians out there who will disagree with me, but on this one, I claim to be in the comfortable majority. I ask you: even aside from its all-too-obvious weight problem, is there an original (or even interesting) line anywhere on it?
I can hear those two or three apologists now: “But JP, maybe you have not actually spent enough time with one of these.” To which I shall reply “you sir, are wrong.” A close family friend traded a black ’68 Mercury Montclair fastback (which I dearly loved) on one. Six of us rode in that car on a vacation that summer. It was certainly comfortable, and as a top-line LTD Brougham 2 door painted a reddish-copper, it was about as good looking as these got. But attractive on its own? Not really. I also remember from a few years later the rust, the hollow-sounding doors and the duct-taped upholstery. A school-friend’s dad bought one too, in that ungodly metallic pinkish-red, no less. My father got them as rentals (usually Galaxie 500s) more than once on family trips. And I got to spend a whole day cleaning and detailing a lime green ’73 Country Sedan wagon, getting familiar with its every nook, crevice, squeak and rattle. I have firsthand experience with an impressive variety of models, trim levels and colors. These cars, to me, are like Green Eggs and Ham–I do not like them, Sam I Am.
Really, I think that this is the car that singlehandedly started the Malaise Era. The ’73 model was not so much a new car as a new platform for hanging ever-more parts from Ford’s massive Brougham Catalog. This car was the white pine that would be transformed into the Christmas Tree by 1976-78 (which we will call Peak Brougham). How many square yards of earth-toned padded vinyl and woodgrain applique swathed these things? It may have helped them.
Sometimes, we can be surprised when we find that a reviled broughamified chariot can look quite trim and appealing once all of the gingerbread is stripped away. But as we see with rather basic version here, it doesn’t help one bit. Just like some people don’t look good in a Speedo, some cars just don’t look good wearing nothing but metal. Quick, somebody get this poor swollen thing into a trim shop. It’s gonna take their broughamliest vinyls, and lots of them, to cover this automotive hippo. And if anyone ever wondered whether a finer grille texture would have helped this car’s look, we can now give you a definitive no.
It has been quite awhile since I have heaped such hate onto a car, but to tell you the truth, it feels kinda good, in a soul-cleansing kind of way. Am I being unfair to the poor, helpless thing? Perhaps. I am man enough to admit that the 1973-74 generation of this car was probably a better quality package than Ford offered in 1971-72. But not by a lot, and truthfully, this was not a particularly high standard from the outset. No matter what Paul Niedermeyer says (here). Although it depends on which day you ask (here). I can also concede that the car was one of the smoothest and quietest interstate cruisers of its day, capable of devouring miles (and gallons) in great quantities.
If pressed, I can also acknowledge that there is a sort of cohesiveness to the design. We can debate about how good of a thing this cohesiveness actually is, but it is at least there compared with the muddled hash that followed as 1975 models. I have reviewed Paul’s rant (here) about the odd two-door greenhouse on the 1975-78 version, and see his point. But is the 1975-78 version of this car an overall improvement over this one? Fodder for the commentariat indeed, because I just can’t decide. It’s like having to choose between a splitting headache or uncontrollable itching.
In anticipation of at least one comment, I will freely acknowledge that I have walked past hundreds of well-kept versions of this car, just waiting for a picture of a real shit-box in order to support my bile-filled diatribe. Who am I kidding? It is amazing that even one of these lived long enough to get this worn out. Most of them rusted to powder, at least until their 400 cid engine blocks cracked or until they were totalled after slipping into reverse and backing into something or another. The few that avoided such these fates were doomed by their 8 mpg fuel habit after 1979, so it is entirely possible that this is actually the last one of these in daily service anywhere. (Oh, wait. This was a Ford, not something made by GM, so the griping about my choice of a crappy one to photograph won’t even come up. My bad.)
Well, everyone, my spleen has been vented and I feel a lot better. But now I am actually starting to feel a little bad about some of the abuse I have flung at this poor car. It is not this poor LTD’s fault that it is overweight. It’s engineers simply gave the poor thing abnormally big bones. OK, and maybe some extra padding. Besides, it is now the second decade of the twenty-first century, so we are not supposed to say such unkind things. Maybe I should go back and buy this poor car, and give it some love. And an ice pack to relieve the swelling. Yes, perhaps I really should do this…
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Or, as those from the southern states might say, “HAYLE no.”
Here’s the Landau coupe, with Paul’s most favorite opera window!
Of course, I love the green-and-white color combination. Those alloy wheels were very rare–I don’t recall ever seeing them on one around here, though I wasn’t really old enough to notice cars until about ten years after these LTDs debuted.
Love those ltds in the last 2 posts. I had one of each both in light glow blue with a white top. Next to my mark vi these were my very favorite of all the cars I ever had. They were often mistaken for Lincolns and really they were almost as nice in top landau trim. Sort of a mark four and a half. With the cam advanced 8 degrees, timing advanced, ported vacume switches bypassed along with gutted cats on dual exhausts and the egr disconnected along with a decent rear end ratio the 400 and 460 engines had lots of power. I outran my buddys 400 trans am with my 460 sedan. And with these simply mods I got 18 on the highway with my 460 and 26 out of my 400.( at least when we had ethanol free gas). I slightly preferred these to my 78 continental and they were far superior to my 72 Electra, 76 lesabre. And especially better than my 79 lesabre and 80 delta 88 Royal brougham. All the gm cars but the 72 fell apart. Hank the duce really knew how to build a big car. The only fault I had with the ltd was it had very flimsy armrests. Rest if it was built like a tank. They had nice steering you didn’t feel the road and road good. I miss them both now that they are in automotive heaven where the roads are straight and smooth, gas is cheap and there are no speed limits.
I’ve always loved these cars. Maybe because I grew up on Starsky & Hutch and actually looked forward to seeing Hutch’s Galaxie. Thus, when I had the chance to buy one last year…
I love them too, see mine
while I agree this car was a step down to the previous Ford LTD’s but I didn’t think the 1973-74’s were as bad compared to the 1975-78 styling (which I’ve thought was awful), my dad owned a 1974 Ford LTD Brougham with the 400ci V8 and he absolutely loved that car,
Hey! Easy on the negative comments in regards to the 73-74 Ford LTD/Galaxie. I grew up with a 73 Gaxlaxie and just loved the car! I loved it so much that I own a BEAUTIFUL 73 LTD I get nothing but positive comments about the car it’s real GEM!
I love mine. 84,000 documented original miles. the major problem was that in order to meet the ’73 Smog regs they detuned the 400 by 6 degrees, put a tiny 2 barrel and restricted intake & single exhaust. Mine has an Edelbrock 4 barrel with an Edelbrock intake, dual exhaust, an adjustable roller timing chain, and Edelbrock cam and lifters. The 400 is a stroked 351 Cleveland! with the big valves. Mine will now smoke those 235’s through the posi rearend and gets much better mileage then the 145 horsepower original. Super road car and guess what! no computer. the repair bills I have paid for the past 5 years on my newer cars have all involved computer related items such as oxygen sensors, abs. check engine lights. Cost of ownership on these cars aint bad.
Hello Eggman!
I like what you have done with your LTD it looks great!
I also changed out my “tiny” 2 barrel carb with a 4 barrel Holly carb 650 CFMs and a Edelbrock intake with a dual exhaust, sounds and runs great.
Nice, seems the 73/74 LTD does have it’s fans. I’m not an aficionado by any means but I don’t mind them, they’re way more interesting than the 75-78. Also, is your engine block up for the strain of that extra power? I know they were known for cracking (unfortunately) right around the miles yours has.
Hey guys
Looking for a 1974 ford Ltd for sale 2dr brougham
Any out there ???
Thanks
Rudy
Cell: 604-773-7569
I bought a ’73 in 1985. It had been well maintained. But it was still garbage. Even that V8 wasn’t enough to power that monstrosity. And then the rust started to set in….
I would’ve killed for a ’69 (and would still consider buying/rebuilding one today), but anything past that: forget it. Fugly is the word for that car.
Thanks for the great post.
Love my triple black 73 LTD. Car has around 75k original miles…not exactly stock any longer as it now sports a 429 pushing around 550 hp to the rear tires, dual side pipe exhaust…not completely done as the current set of rims are temporary. Not a spot of rust on this one…
Now I happen to have an affinity to these particular cars because wrecked many in demolition derbies…decided to save one and make it a Sunday driver. Certainly stands out from the typical car show car and always draws a crowd especially when I fire up the “73 Evil LTD”.
I had a chance to drive one of these (a 75) and compare it to a 76 olds delta 88 in 1978 and it stacked up favourably in terms of performance (acceleration) and handling to the olds. It was just another one of those cars that grew to be toooo big in its time.
I have to admit I like the 73-74s too. My aunt had a 1974 LTD 4-door. It had a fabric interior, upgraded from the vinyl, and was so smooth and quiet you felt like you were on your couch. The Landau irons on the vinyl roof were kind of elegant. The stand up hood ornament made it classy – remember that one of the interpretations of what “LTD” stood for was “Lincoln Type Design.” I also liked the paper thin one spoke steering wheel that graced almost every Ford product of that vintage (although that wheel was used on 71-72 models as well). The hubcaps were so heavy that when they would bounce off, my uncle said they made so much racket you couldn’t help but stop and retrieve it. I also remember they junked it around ’87 with only about 50,000 miles on it.
My dad bought a 75 LTD to replace a (yikes) 69 Continental Mark III. He avoided the 73-74 models because of all the pollution control problems associated with all 73-74 cars. Despite that, I hated that car. It was probably the only Ford he had that didn’t return to an organic state after 3 years in Indiana arctic hell, but it looked even worse than the 73-74 models- an impressive feat in just how much bad taste could be piled on this bloated opera windowed POS of a car. I thought it was an embarrassment even when it was new. We still had a 68 Custom with a 3 speed on the column that was aqua. I had equally despised that car until the 75 LTD came along, then I accepted it as the lesser of evils. I have no awe in seeing one of these 73-78 Ford’s around today, I just wonder why someone thinks they are desirable. The whole entire Ford product line was an embarrasing POS during this era.
how much for you’re children , seriously though whats your price i love it i want it now
JP, this is quite possibly the funniest thing I have ever read on this site. (Thank you, Paul, for dusting it off.)
This was the very first thing I ever read on this site!!!
Was I turned off because JPC was dissing my first car? Nope. He helped me take off my rose colored glasses and I have been a fan of CC ever since.
My car looked almost exactly like the one in the brochure picture above John Candy’s picture. (Mine wasn’t a Brougham though). Same colors. To save you all from having to scroll back up, I present another doppleganger for my first car.
I really need to go up into my attic and scare up the pictures I have of that car so I can do a COAL counterpoint to JPC’s post. ;o)
In all seriousness, yours is probably as attractively painted and trimmed as any I have seen (in an early 70s kind of way that is appropriate). I will also admit that with the passage of time I like these better than I did. Not a lot better, but at least somewhat better. 🙂
Well, in defense of your mood at the time when you wrote this, my LTD did have those basic stamped wheel covers that said “FORD FORD FORD” in a 120 degree angle circular pattern… I seem to remember you were not a fan of those. 😉
I think that mine actually had black silkscreening in the FORD letters. The ones in this pic look really cheap….
This was my first experience with an LTD from this era, in the same colors, when I was about 9-10 years old.
Dan grew up next door, and was touring the orient courtesy of Uncle Sam during 1971 or so. His Camaro Z28 awaited him under his parent’s carport.
Upon returning, he soon married, had a kid, and settled down with a loaded 4 door LTD Brougham – in which his family frequently came back to visit his parents.
The car was new, shiny, a bit different from the aging GM fare on our street, and was demonstrating the democratization of features such as power windows and stereo radios in the 1970s. It was impressive to my young eyes, and the first of several LTDs to invade our street as the disco era unfolded, including the ’76 that came home with my dad one day.
Dan passed at a terribly young age, a victim of Agent Orange it was speculated. The gold LTD came around around only a few more times after that.
I’d seen this ’77 parked on Queens Boulevard near Parker Towers, and finally caught it idling in December mid-morning chill a bit more than a year ago and you could smell the gasoline almost a block away at the entrance to the subway. Hadn’t smelled a smell like that from idling iron in decades. The driver was a doorman who lived in New Rochelle, and he just kinda bought it, not for any nostalgia reasons, but just to drive. New Rochelle to Forest Hills and back is forty miles a day, which I guess is tolerable at $2.50 a gallon with the EZ pass discount over the Whitestone with, say, something like my Outback two cars behind, but this thing?
The LTD
As bad as this bloated boat looked, I think its Marquis fraternal twin was even worse, especially in two-door form.
Ford did brougham better than anyone else, and I don’t mean that in a good way.
By 1976 they got all haughty about themselves and made the taillights vertical just to look so much more special and luxuriousy and all. Someone thought that gave them the right to put politically offensive bumper stickers on the dreaded thing. In Canada no less.
photo didn’t take. It was just from an iPhone, file size shouldn’t have been too large. Try again.
Wow, it even has a Grounding Strap (or whatever that’s called) hanging from the bumper. That’s something I haven’t seen on a car in a mighty long time (though buses still use them sometimes).
JP, I understand your distaste for the1973-78 full-size Ford’s… even lipstick on the high series could not cover the bloat and complete lack of effort to style the 5 mph bumpers. But the “dis” on the 1971/72 models is not shared. I like those models… in LTD form…. hardtop and pillared hardtop.
The Marquis aged better and wore the weight better as a near Lincoln product.
Also, the product quality of those 71/72 models was very stout…. we never experienced a single issue with our 1972 LTD Brougham 4-door pillared hardtop with the 400 CID engine. We regularly saw 17-20 mpg…. never single digits.
Having spent a lot of time in that 72 LTD and a 73 Impala Custom Coupe, the Ford had a much better ride and a less twi. I liked the sleek styling of the Chevy, but it’s quality was not as good as the Ford’s.
Sounds like you were drinking the Ford Kool-Aid at the time. I have a hard time believing 17-20 mpg for those monsters, unless they were driven at a steady 45 mph on a flat road with a tailwind.
My mother had a 73 Monte Carlo bought new. Yes, I know there more emissions controls in were mandated starting in 73, mainly EGR to deal with oxides of nitrogen. The Monte was probably a good 800 pounds lighter than those LTDs, equipped with the 350 V8. Its gas mileage ranged from 9 city to 18 hwy in the summer with a/c in use and 8 to 19 mpg in winter with heat only, and those highway figures were best-case achieved at the double-nickle speed limit on the PA Turnpike.
I’m not going to even address the serious rusting problems these Fords had in the early 70s, certainly worse than the comparable large and midsize GM cars.
Wow, 132 comments as I type. That’s quite a lot of feedback on this model of car.
Seems a lot of us out there were affected by these big bloats back in the day.
I remember very well when Ford put on a big event introducing the 1973 models at a lavish event in Edmonton. I believe it was by invite to loyal customers. I tagged along with a buddy who bought a 72 Torino. Was I ever disappointed when we saw the LTDs and Custom 500s. Yikes! The 5 mph front bumpers as hung on Ford models that year we bad enough but Ford’s ful-lsize car was just awful. What a comedown from the nice trim, 71-72 models (I just thought a Dirty Harry movie for some reason).
Well, in 1977 I would buy one of these big boats; a 1975 Custom 500 ex-RCMP Highway Patrol car. 460 V8, hand throttle and police tires. Loved the car which flioatd on gravel and it was ideal for the drive-in theater
Meh. These were never intended to be “fine cars”, and yes, Fords of this era seemed to rust faster..but everything rusted then. The later Grand Marquis variations on this body were stunning cars as coupes. And the difference between then and now is that if you didn’t really care about road racing and wanted a big comfortable cruiser you could buy one. If you wanted a little cramped highwinding sedan that jittered and bounced but went around corners fast, you could buy one of those. Now you only have option two, unless you wish to drive a truck or have big money to buy a Rolls or an expensive Benz.
’71 on big Fords were the first cars that I recall that commonly could see A LOT of miles, without showing the wear and tear and without having had significant wrench work.
IMH Experience, your (high) mileage recollections may vary
Of course this was before the “1” odometer
so mileage was tough to ascertain without knowing a vehicle’s history.
Talk about coincidence, this video was suggested after I read your article.
It features the development of this model.
One funny part, it mentions stopping on a dime and this thing locks up and slides diagonally towards the camera. I have a sneaking suspicion that it actually destroyed the camera, they cut away before it happened.
Funny. I understand everything, every single thing you’re saying about this car. Intellectually, I hate it. When it came out, I was a sophomore in college, and we were surrounded by these gas hogs. I was driving a ’62 Plymouth Valiant as my college car, and it was well worn-out. But we used to joke about these cars maybe getting stuck in a deep storm drainage dip in the road. But now, well over forty years later, I wish I could drive one of these, just to see what it was like. I crave isolation now, and it’s hard to find. I want cushy, not just firmly supportive, and I want generous, stretch-out room not just for the front seat occupants, but the rear seat passengers too. I want hushed quiet, so that the stereo can sing with the delicacy of harpsichord plucking string, and the force of a symphony orchestra. I want to remember what a V-8 and its torque feels like, and a nice, smooth Cruise-O-Matic. And here in the desert southwest, rust wasn’t nearly as much of an issue. But I know that those days of luxurious barges available to lots of people will never come again.
Way back when I was living in an apartment, I remember seeing the Landau version of this, from about 1977 or so, and thinking that it was incredibly loaded with luxury features for a mere Ford. Now, of course, I understand that Ford didn’t have to deal with even the remnants of the Sloanian ladder that GM divisions dealt with, even in the ’70s.
Try a mid 2010’s LS460…. L version for an extra 6″ of rear passenger leg room if you’d like (though my non L version fits full size adults in the back very comfortably). It pretty much grants you all that you are asking. Almost 400 HP/TQ numbers out of it’s naturally aspirated V8 (it will move surprisingly quickly for such a big, heavy car), very isolated on the inside (get one with the ultra luxury package for thicker rear windows/more isolation), and if you get one with the air ride (which mine has) and set it to “comfort”, it even wallows or “floats” like the old land barges… HA! Most of them have the Mark Levinson stereo system installed which is by far the best factory system I have yet experienced.
The mid 10’s models are fairly reasonable, especially if you seek out a deal. I got my ’10 for $10.5K a year ago, though it had just over 100K on the clock and I haven’t seen a deal quite that good since.
I remember Ford’s TV ads during this time touting their “slab-sided beauty” and “road-hugging weight.”
Regarding the “Road-Hugging Weight”, while it is understandable to poke fun looking back, I can honestly say that my ’73 LTD was the best car in the snow that I’ve ever had, including every car ever I’ve owned since.*
But you had to wash it immediately after the snow/salt event was over. Unlike most of the early seventies fords, mine never rusted out due to my due diligence.
*My wife’s 2009 Mitsubishi Lancer is a close second, and our go-to vehicle when we get such weather, which sadly we have not had this year in the Baltimore area. I actually like snow.
After 20 years of increasing the size of cars, Detroit reached peak bloat. You had to go to aircraft carriers and RVs to get a bigger ride than these full-sized cars. So – how do you still sell them after they couldn’t get any larger? You load them up like the aforementioned RVs. You doll them up like a Winnebago. You glue your Aunt Sally’s living room into them. You sell them as rolling lounges.
Look at what passed as an “intermediate”! By this time, the Valiant was considered a compact, yet it sat six.
We ended up with all the performance of a Pullman car, but without the porters, engineers, railroad tracks or bomb-throwing anarchists.
7 miles per gallon – 14 miles per gallon on the highway – 20 miles per gallon, according to the Feds.
Today, we are seeing peak SUV. Lord almighty, take a look at that manatee-looking Infiniti! It is a bloated SUV with a forehead, gills and fins? And sorry Hyundai, but that Palisades looks like a side-show circus performer with enormous chrome lips. And Toyota, I think Pennywise the clown when I see your front end styling.
Whoever was/were responsible for the 5 mph bumpers should be beaten to a pulp with one of them.
I never realized the the tear quartet panel on the coup was so large. The vinyl roof really masked it. This car looks horrible. I liked the styling of the sedan and especially the wagon in this car. Remember that GM has the rounded clam shell backs. Both Ford and GM started 71-72 relatively sleek. The 73-74 takes on some junk. The 75-76 GM went to the colanade room and looked horrible. Ford followed. The downsized 77 GM’s were revolutionary for their day. (Remember that this was in response to the oil crises of 73). Ford was stuck with the bloated cars for 77-78. But instead of trying to make them sleeker, they made them worse. Chrysler was just dead in the water at this point. The 79 Panther platform LTD was a direct response to the 77 GM’s and Ford finally got back in the game. But I never understood why they made the cars bigger and fatter while the nation was looking for small car.
My first, and by far worst loaner car ever, was a turd brown over turd brown ’73 LTD I got for two days while my almost new ’74 Roadrunner was waiting for a part, I think it was a replacement brake booster, but it was a long time ago..
The LTD was only about 18 months old, but looked much much older. The interior was messed up and smelled of cigarettes, and the vinyl top was starting to show signs it wouldn’t be holding up very well. It started up fine, but at any speed over about 40, it started to shake, and at 55 MPH, it was downright scary. Driving it from Bowling Green, OH to Toledo, was more of an adventure than I expected. When I got home, I had some place to go, so I called the dealer to see if I could swap it for something else in the morning. The only thing they had was a ’68 (I think) /6 valiant that looked very rough. I had seen it a couple of cars away from the LTD, and I didn’t think it would be any better. I managed to drive the LTD until the part came in and was installed and I was very happy to see it be gone. It did nothing to end my basic dislike of Ford products that continues to this day, with the exception of the F150.